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to think that you should supervise your toddler child in the park rather than stand and have a smoke

(53 Posts)
xxxresixxx Fri 12-Oct-12 14:57:22

As above. Mother with DD who was about 2.5. Mother stood at far side of park having a chat and smoke with friend completely oblivious to what her DD was doing. DD was other side of park playing. When my DS who is 20 months approached her dd, the dd grabbed my DS and sink her teeth into his ear (only not his face because DS turned his head). DS inconsolable with still visible one hour later bite marks on his ear. Woman didn't notice and only reason I know who the child mother was was because I tools the child to tel me who mummy was and matches over. I told her what happened and the response was a shrug and a comment about all toddlers biting before saying to the little girl that she had told her not to bite. I may have given a piece of my mind about the quality of her parenting/duty to supervise her young (and berry child) and the fact anyone could have walked off with her DS and she wouldn't have noticed. I got told to fuck off which didn't surprise me but Aibu?

Kewcumber Fri 12-Oct-12 15:00:57

She wouldn't have been able to stop the bite - you were supervising your DS and you couldn't stop it so supervising better wouldn't have made any differnce confused

Maybe she was too far away hard to tell without a diagram.

I have no idea what a "berry" child is so no comment on that.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Fri 12-Oct-12 15:03:15

What's a berry child?

I leave my son to play while I have a smoke outside the railing so I'm not in the park. I can see him and he can see me. I can hear him too.

Weather she was supervising she wouldn't have been able to stood the child. You weren't able to.

It's nothing to do with been a smoker.

What has the fact that she was smoking got to do with it? If she was over the other side of the park she was over the other side!

My brain can't deal with another debate on smoking/motherhood so on that basis YABU grin

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Fri 12-Oct-12 15:03:53

Stop the child**

Vinomum Fri 12-Oct-12 15:09:00

At 2.5 I wouldn't expect her to be following her DS round the park but she should have been keeping an eye on him enough to be able to see that he'd hurt another child.

Her attitude when you told her what had happened would have been what I'd have been pissed off about though. Yes she's right that a lot of kids that age bit or get bitten but telling you to fuck off was bang out of order and completely the wrong way to deal with the situation.

Vinomum Fri 12-Oct-12 15:10:51

Sooty got the genders of the kids muddled up there!

Vinomum Fri 12-Oct-12 15:11:32

Sooty. What the fuck has Sooty got to do with it you stupid bloody iPhone?????

MrsWolowitz Fri 12-Oct-12 15:13:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

xxxresixxx Fri 12-Oct-12 15:13:37

A bitey Child not . (auto correct). The smoking has only something to do with it because she chose to stand by the entrance to the park well away from where her daughter was to smoke a it is a non smoking play area rather than supervise. Im more at the fact that she was clearly aware that her DS bites but just left her to it. Never mind her only being about 2.5.

GrimAndHumourless Fri 12-Oct-12 15:16:03

YABU because you have lots of yukky kisses in your username


LFCisTarkaDahl Fri 12-Oct-12 15:16:34

bollocks, this is all your fault.

She said all toddlers bite (a lot do) and then told her child 'I told you not to bite'.

That clearly wasn't good enough for you (because you expected her to supervise her child and you were anti her smoking and chatting with a friend)

so you then weighed in and was incredibly rude to her about her parenting and accusing her of almost causing her child to be abducted as she wasn't supervising shock

You'd have got fuck off from me after that little piece from you.


Well if she knew her DS was a biter the least she could have done was take him to the park with a muzzle on hmm

Sorry, muzzled the DD!

Jusfloatingby Fri 12-Oct-12 15:20:14

I wouldn't leave a 2.5 child unsupervised in the playground. I mean, I'd let her run around and enjoy herself but I would be keeping a watchful eye. Also, I would say 'sorry about that. I hope he's okay' if she bit another small child and the mother brought it to my attention. She sounds a bit rude, to be honest.

AngryGnome Fri 12-Oct-12 15:27:05

I have a toddler that bites. It is mortifying. I watch him like a hawk but there is literally fuck all I can do on most occasions. Sometimes I can tell he is about to bite - if he is getting tired, overexcited etc, but most of the time I have no idea until I hear the outraged wail from the injured party.

My point being that even if she was hovering over her child, the biting would still have happened. You are upset because the reason she wasn't watching is becasue she was smoking - she could just have easily turned away in coversation and it would still have happened but i suspect that would not have enraged you as much?

I always apologies to the child and the mother, but if you are going to launch into a Parenting 101 class, explaining why she is a bad mother then I think you had a very well deserved "fuck off" in response.

Vinomum Fri 12-Oct-12 15:29:12

Has your DS been bitten before? It's something both you and he are going to have to toughen up to, if this is the first time it's happened I guarantee it won't be the last. Kids do it at the speed of light, as you saw for yourself. I doubt she could have done much about it even if she'd been stood right next to him.

Dogsmom Fri 12-Oct-12 15:33:03

I just want to know why Sooty got the genders mixed up? Was he smoking?

WorraLiberty Fri 12-Oct-12 15:34:55

A lot of toddlers bite

As someone else said, your supervision didn't prevent it either did it?

She told her child off, what more did you want her to do - give the toddler a slap or something? confused

I don't think it's wise to stand over the other side of the park and leave a toddler unsupervised, but then my local park tends to be full of mothers with their heads buried in their mobile they may be close by but they're still not looking at their kids.

You were rude and I would have told you to fuck off too.

xxxresixxx Fri 12-Oct-12 15:40:47

It's not the fact she was smoking I'm cross about it was the lack of supervision, and she hadn't been keeping a glace over as there is a large wooden frame/ slide/jungle gym thing which completely blocks sight of where her daughter had been playing. It's a big park with skate ramps, zip wires etc and it was full of teenagers from the local school skating on their lunch break. I was upset obviously that DS had been bitten (drawing blood) but also shocked at her couldn't care less attitude which is prob why I got cross.

WhenShallWeThreeMeetAgain Fri 12-Oct-12 15:45:55

"It's not the fact she was smoking I'm cross about" why mention it, then??

Tailtwister Fri 12-Oct-12 15:47:24

If she knows her child bites then she should have been supervising him closely. She shouldn't have been standing away from him, no matter what she was doing.

She should also have apologised for her child's behaviour and asked if you son was ok. Her telling you to 'fuck off' in front of her child and yours shows how low her standards really are imo.

xxxresixxx Fri 12-Oct-12 15:47:24

I'm not saying the bite would have been stopped by supervising, it may not have been. I didn't know the child or that she had a history of biting and given she just walked over and sink her teeth in without any interaction between the children it was a surprise, particularly how bad the bite was..

xxxresixxx Fri 12-Oct-12 15:49:00

Because I was describing what happened? If she had been drinking coffee I would have said that- it doesn't mean im anti coffee..

Vinomum Fri 12-Oct-12 15:49:30

If she hadn't cared less she wouldn't have had a word with her DD about telling her not to bite though would she? She'd have just told you to fuck off straight away.

dogsmom I think sooty had just been bitten by Sweep grin

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