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To think I'm being left out?

(10 Posts)
ivanapoo Fri 12-Oct-12 13:52:11

The part of the company I work for has 7 women in it. One is a real boys' girl and goes out with a couple of the guys at lunchtime.

The other 5 girls - including one who only started a few weeks ago - have just gone out for lunch all together without me. Admittedly they all sit on a desk together while I sit on a separate desk next to them as I'm in a slightly different role.

This isn't the first time it's happened.

I don't think I'm an awful person, a dickhead or unbearably boring but I think they're purposefully not inviting me out. I am pregnant and a tiny bit older than them. But we seem to get along fine.

Am I being self absorbed or paranoid? Should I just not care? I feel like I must have done something to irritate them and I'm finding it quite upsetting tbh.

valiumredhead Fri 12-Oct-12 13:53:11

I would feel the same tbh.

DeWe Fri 12-Oct-12 13:54:54

Sounds like it's not deliberate if they all sit together and do a similar role. I doubt they thought about it.

When they come back, why don't you say to them "Had a nice lunch?" let them reply and say "I'd love to come next time, if you'll have me." and I susepct they'll be totally happy to ask you.

HeathRobinson Fri 12-Oct-12 13:55:37

I would feel the same as well.

But, do you like them? Would you want to go out with them?

justmyview Fri 12-Oct-12 13:59:51

It's very easy to be a bit sensitive to these perceived slights. I'd suggest you buy cakes one afternoon as a treat to show you are friendly and then suggest you'd like to join them if they go out again sometime

ivanapoo Fri 12-Oct-12 14:09:56

@Heath, I do like them, we're not soul mates or anything and I do have my head down at work a lot though. I might not go as I'm often v busy but it would be nice to be included.

@just I've bought cakes in twice this week already! I've worked with some of them for 2 years, I'm not new....

I've emailed one of them that im closest to about it so will see what they say.

HeathRobinson Fri 12-Oct-12 18:14:16

Yes, you might not want to go every time, but it is nice to be asked.

Perhaps you could suggest going out to try a new lunch spot or something?

thebody Fri 12-Oct-12 18:17:30

Ah sure it's not intentional. You are slightly older and pregnant, you don't sit at their desk and that's probably it tbh.

I would employ the direct 'oh you lot, I am here you know and available for lunch' with a laugh and sure it will be fine.

ivanapoo Fri 12-Oct-12 19:43:16

Well i feel like a bit of a wally after speaking to one of them. Turns out that it was completely unintentional and they weren't even all going out together but in 3 groups, they just all left the office at the same-ish time blush and I put 2+2 together and got 5.

NewNames Fri 12-Oct-12 19:47:48

You're not a wally! Now's your chance to organise a big team/office lunch smile

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