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Aaaargh bloody school policy's

(30 Posts)
HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 10:53:16

Have just been kicked out of Harvest festival. As some things let siblings in and some don't I called and checked. Was told as long as she had a ticket and her own seat siblings could go.

Head stopped said she can't go in as no preschoolers are allowed at school performance. I said sorry, but I'd checked and that she'd been to last years performances confused

Was told that they had a blanket rule on preschoolers at all performances.
I looked confused and he then reiterated actually it was only Harvest and siblings were welcome to others.

Head said we could wait in the lobby. Receptionist then came along and told us we had to leave totally, and could not wait <<I send Ds grandma in so someone could watch him>>

I have no issue whatsoever about abiding my the school policy.

Dd has sat through plenty of performances quietly. And we have had sitters when she can't attend.

AIBU to be a tiny but fucked off for being kicked out in the fadhion I was and told I should have known? It's not like I tried to smuggle her in.

WorraLiberty Fri 12-Oct-12 10:57:33

It sounds like you need to introduce their arse to their elbow.

They shouldn't give out tickets if that's the case...or they should at least make their policy clear on them.

lljkk Fri 12-Oct-12 10:58:45

yanbu, I would be raging.

cheekydevil Fri 12-Oct-12 11:00:37

You can't reason with stupid hmm

MrsKeithRichards Fri 12-Oct-12 11:01:04

I too would be raging! How exclusive is it to state no preschoolers? How up themselves are they to think their performance is so great it can't be disrupted?

halcyondays Fri 12-Oct-12 11:01:58

Yanbu, I'd have been very annoyed.

The more I hear about schools on MN the more I am dreading DD starting next year. Shes at preschool now but its quite relaxed.

Ofcourse parents are going to have younger children that they need to bring.

YANBU for being utterly fucked off at that!

Petsinmyputridpudenda Fri 12-Oct-12 11:02:55

Id ring up and kick off abit. sound silly. Our say if they younger ones cry then you have to go out but that's fair enough

StanleyLambchop Fri 12-Oct-12 11:05:07

YANBU. What a stupid policy! Presumably your pre-schooler will be going to that very school in a few years time? Surely it helps that your DD is welcomed into the school that will be hers- it makes the transition into school so much easier . For all our head teacher's faults, I cannot imagine her turning away a 'future customer' . What a strange policy and a strange HT.

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Fri 12-Oct-12 11:05:22

I would complain to the Governors. Your child was not creating a disturbance and you are very upset obviously about being treated like this. What kind of school treats it's parents like crap? How dare the receptionist say you had to leave the building! Officious busybody!

EdithWeston Fri 12-Oct-12 11:08:35

You called to check? Yes, I'd be cross. OK, whoever spoke to you on the phone might have made a genuine mistake, but ey should have realised ey were dealing with a conscientious parent who is trying to do the right thing, that it is possible it was all their fault, and that even if they didn't want to admit the pre-schoolers to the performance (as they might have already barred others, and would not want to create a total separate row) they could at least have been apologetic and also arrange for you to wait somewhere civilised.

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 11:09:30

I don't mind their arguement for no younger children or babies at performances, I get the children work hard and shouldn't be distracted.

But I called and was told as long as she had a seat and as long as she could sit in it that was ok!

Mums back, said Ds was upset as was looking for us sad

I'm more annoyed about the fact they said I should have known. It changes every bloody year!

Merrylegs Fri 12-Oct-12 11:21:11

But since when has Harvest Festival become a 'performance'? Surely it's just waving a few tins of baked beans around and singing 'cauliflowers fluffy and cabbages green' or some such. Not declaiming Shakespeare.

WorraLiberty Fri 12-Oct-12 11:25:16

Our school has a strict 2 tickets per child policy and no pre-schoolers.

I agree with this because the school is overcrowded and legally they're only allowed so many people in the hall.

However, they provide a free creche in a classroom and most importantly everyone knows about the policy. It's also mentioned on the tickets.

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 12:56:53

Worra I think what annoyed me is the head said "you are welcome to stay out here" but then I got kicked out the actual school itself, the door pointedly locked after me. I expected the receptionist to the come and talk to us but she walked off.

The receptionist had offered to take my dd away with her prior to that. But I said no we'd wait quietly in the lobby to listen. Thinking that was the most sensible. Maybe I offended her by refusing to let my daughter go with her? confused

I bloody hate it when you try and do the right thing and still get blamed for doing wrong.

lovelyladuree Fri 12-Oct-12 13:37:34

A school performance, which loads of people have worked so hard on, with enthusiastic infant/junior school children keen to show their adults what they have learnt, ruined by yet another brattish, spoilt toddler showing off? Sound like this school has got it just right.

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 13:39:00


Please read the op.

Booboobedoo Fri 12-Oct-12 13:41:36

That is ridiculous.

I think I'd go in and talk to the head, and get him to explain to your DS why his Mum wasn't watching him.

They at least need to make sure their rules are more explicit.

DrWhoExterminatesMyBrain Fri 12-Oct-12 13:42:47

such a silly rule what about those who cant get babysitters for younger child? im sure children performing would rather have younger siblings in the audiance than nobody they know watching them.

PrimrosePath Fri 12-Oct-12 13:45:51

I wouldn't be happy to be messed around, but I'd be secretly pleased to not have to sit through a harvest festival.

Were there a few parents with pre-schoolers not allowed in?

BreconBeBuggered Fri 12-Oct-12 13:47:30

What are you on about, lovely? Who was being brattish?
Perfectly sensible to ask parents to remove younger siblings if they're being noisy. Absolutely not on to presume they will make a racket and have a blanket ban on babies and toddlers without making alternative provision for them.
School office staff are often more dictatorial than the head, in my experience.

bochead Fri 12-Oct-12 14:00:04


I'd write to the Governors as you'd phoned to ask and were told one thing, only to be told something else on arrival and treated quite poorly to boot.

MerylStrop Fri 12-Oct-12 14:13:28


1. Excluding younger siblings is wrong IMO. They are are pupils-in-waiting, after all and the school should be welcoming. In my experience many parents and grandparents behave rather less well with their video cameras and incessant chatting

2. They should have been apologising for giving you the wrong information and wasting your time.

3. Not being allowed to wait in the lobby is total crap. I would have told receptionist the Head had suggested it and said sorry I need to wait somewhere.

BiddyPop Fri 12-Oct-12 14:14:11

I presume, that as you had a ticket for her and for you, that you didn't have to pay for those? And if you DID have to pay for those, that the HT and/or receptionist have already refunded you IN FULL for those as you were not able to avail of them?! hmm

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 14:30:38

In totally honesty, I don't mind the misunderstanding. I don't mind the policy. I am peeved that both receptionist and head told me differing things despite being in the same corridor.

I am also annoyed at the way they acted like dd was something unpleasant and that I had behaved terribly.

Complaints get you nowhere. Ds's classmate broke her hand under there care. She was ignored despite her crying for an afternoon and it being dark purple and swollen.

There response to the complaint was passive aggressive in the extreme. Each time her dd hurt herself they called her in to assess whether she thought her dd should still be in school hmm, this is not an exaggeration either.

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