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Not to let dd2 do a sky dive

(56 Posts)
twoteens Fri 12-Oct-12 10:48:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I totally understand why you are against it but yes, YABU if she really really wants to do it. Obviously it will be a tandem jump so she will be perfectly safe.

purplehouse Fri 12-Oct-12 10:51:32

Difficult.

I would feel the same as you and wouldn't know what to do

halcyondays Fri 12-Oct-12 10:52:16

Yanbu.

qo Fri 12-Oct-12 10:55:19

I hate letting my little one (11) on white knuckle rides, but she loves them so I walk away, don't watch and let her do what makes her happy. Not entirely in the same league I know, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'd unhappily allow it if she really really had her heart set on it

At the end of the day, if she wants to do it the minute she turns 18 she will do it anyway. Probably better if she does it with your blessing...plus if you go and watch her do it once you will realise it is not as awful as you think it is.

I totally see your point too though!

bubalou Fri 12-Oct-12 10:57:03

I did my 1st one two months ago for a charity. I am however 26.

I can tell you though that it is very safe and in fact once the instructor had talked us through everything I had absolutely no fears about 'parachutes not opening' etc.

There is a small parachute that opens almost straight away to slow u down so you can enjoy the 'free-fall' - then the main parachute goes for which there is also a back up parachute - if for some horrendous reason the worst happens and the tandem instructor who you are attached to passes out (VERY unlikely) then the parachute has an automatic open on it too! Lots of safety covered. The guy I jumped with was an ex paratrooper and red arrow and had done over 2,000 jumps.

The people were great and the jump was amazing!!! I'm going to do another one very soon!

You are however her mum and it is up to you smile

LittleBairn Fri 12-Oct-12 10:58:16

YABU your imposing your views on your DD. she is practically an adult now and should be given more freedom to set her own boundaries.

Your post is all about YOU and your feelings nothing about disappointing your DD on your birthday. The whole withholding consent sounds like your still trying to hold onto your 'power' over her. Show her some respect and let her do it.

Olderkidsaremine Fri 12-Oct-12 10:59:37

My youngest wanted to do a sky dive for his 21st - I mentioned that it would be over my dead body!!, we compromised and he got an indooor skydiving experience in Milton Keynes - he though it was fantastic but hasn't mentioned an outdoor one since smile

MrsKeithRichards Fri 12-Oct-12 11:04:26

Sign the forms!

In fact why not turn it into a charity thing?

Olderkidsaremine Fri 12-Oct-12 11:04:47

LittleBairn 16 is not nearly an adult!! And to try and switch off the 'power' as you call it, is not easy and is in my experience a very gradual process - for example I am still called on to support my 23 year old for her Student Finance application because she hasn't been independent long enough, so if I have to be accountable for that I can sure as hell tell a 16 what they can and can't do!!

Alameda Fri 12-Oct-12 11:07:33

I think you're being very very unreasonable, it's safer than horse riding.

Alameda Fri 12-Oct-12 11:10:47

She will be old enough to ride a small motorcycle on the road, that is much much more dangerous and only a year away from driving a car which must be the riskiest legal activity?

Bella1982 Fri 12-Oct-12 11:12:58

Difficult one.

Although skydiving is probably overall quite safe, accidents can happen - there was a news story in September reporting that a man had died and another was in hospital following an accident in Cambridgeshire, although I think they might have been solo jumpers (Google it yourself - it was on BBC website). This link from the British Parachute Association gives statistics for injuries and fatalities from different types of skydive - http://www.bpa.org.uk/staysafe/how-safe. It looks like accidents are pretty rare, but can happen, so there is always some risk (however small).

However, there are risks involved in lots of other activities too - would you let your daughter ride a horse or a bike or ski? Or even drive a car (when she is 17)? It is arguable that she is far more likely to get injured doing these 'everyday' activities than in a sky dive where (I assume) the safety precautions are very high.

Only you can make the decision, but if you decide you are really, really not happy about it I personally don't think it's unreasonable to tell her she has to wait until she is 18 and then she can make her own decision as an adult. It is after all only two years for her to wait so not that long. Also, she needs to learn to consider her parents views and find the balance between living her life to the full and not doing things that would really upset her parents - I would think twice about doing something if I thought it would make my mother really distressed.

Ephiny Fri 12-Oct-12 11:13:37

I think YABU really, yes it is your decision as she's still under 18, but a tandem skydive is very safe and there's not really any good reason for you to refuse, especially if she's prepared to pay herself.

I used to sky-dive (solo) when I was younger and it was just the most incredible thing, I can't think of a more wonderful gift you could give her.

(and as it happens, I think it was having over-protective parents that made me more determined to do things like this, and to do more risky/unwise things than skydiving too.)

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Fri 12-Oct-12 11:14:55

I think YABU but I would feel the same way. Just the thought of jumping out of a plane makes me feel a bit queasy. Everyone I know who's done a jump has absolutely loved it though and I would much, much prefer to have my DC do one safely in this country than go backpacking and do one as cheaply as possible in some crazy country in the sticks (which is what 2 of my friends did!). It's not a tattoo so surprise her and do it for her birthday.

GobblersKnob Fri 12-Oct-12 11:15:58

I totally get where you are coming from, but I still think YABU, sorry.

Insisde I would be desperate for my dc's not to do it, but outwardly I would be all excited and enthusiastic for them.

melliebobs Fri 12-Oct-12 11:17:30

Compromise with indoor skydive lessons where u can learn tricks n stuff then let her do one for her 18th

Personally I think YABU. Skydives are statistically not dangerous. It is much less likely to cause harm than a bungy jump for example. Which I'm pretty sure she could do without your consent.

She is nearly an adult IMO but I had dd at 17 and something like this should be her decision. My mum hated watching me and my db do anything risky but it doesn't mean she stopped us doing it. (I did a bungy jump at 15 and I'm glad I did, since dd's birth im not sure I'd do it again). I did a skydive in las Vegas last year and it was great.

Alameda Fri 12-Oct-12 11:18:44

why don't you do it with her? You might get a taste for it

I desperately want to do the AFF course but can really only afford one adrenalin boosting hobby at a time, and you have to keep it up or start all over again

misdee Fri 12-Oct-12 11:20:54

YABU

however will she compromise and do an indooor one? dd1 did one at age 9.

Yabu I'm afraid. I did a solo jump at 19 and it was the most amazing experience. I fully intend to do it again one day!

Whoknowswhocares Fri 12-Oct-12 11:25:32

Very definitely not unreasonable to not want her to do it......... But yes, unreasonable to allow those feelings to stop her IMO.

twoteens Fri 12-Oct-12 11:26:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RuleBritannia Fri 12-Oct-12 11:30:12

Let her do it but go and support her by being there watching. As others have said, it's probably the first thing she'll do when she's 18 so you will have 2 worrying years ahead of you. Get it over with now.

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