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to think parents videoing school assemblies and posting the video on facebook is wrong

(193 Posts)
mamabanana Fri 12-Oct-12 10:36:55

Just noticed a post from a friend on facebook with a video link to a class assembly. I honestly don't think the person posting has thought through their actions, but surely it is against most school policies? If the school record something, they have to get every parent to sign to say they agree to their child being videoed. I have no problem with parents videoing their children to watch back, but posting it on social media????

What do you think and what would you do? Am I overreacting? I need a second opinion before I speak to friend or even the school about it.

filetheflightoffancy Fri 12-Oct-12 12:24:52

So you would rather that kids in foster care (who lets face it have probably had a bit of a shitty time of it up to now) are not allowed to participate in any photographed school events than you take five minutes out of your life to learn how to send an email? Really?

I am with families - you are just being deliberately provocative. You went too far because no one believes that anyone would be that much of a selfish and lazy twat.

FamiliesShareGerms Fri 12-Oct-12 12:25:48


Better link

alienreflux Fri 12-Oct-12 12:27:42

i give up

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 12:30:52

You know Couthy, you are coming across as extraordinarily selfish on this thread.

What you are saying is "I can do what I like, and if your children get hurt, I don't care". Do you really not care at all?

SeveredEdMcDunnough Fri 12-Oct-12 12:34:57

Daddyman, it was a flippant insult and I said it because I was offended by your apparent arrogance towards and dismissal of the very real issues which a lot of adoptive or foster parents face.

I don't think you show any understanding of how serious it can be when pictures are put in the public domain, for these families and these children.

SeveredEdMcDunnough Fri 12-Oct-12 12:39:19


'Yes I read the thread, strangers are everywhere, people who look at children must be evil and adopted children should never be seen outdoors because the person who gave them up had a change of heart and is hunting them down by looking at random people's fb photos. '

If I'm wrong then I apologise, but to me it sounded like you were being really sarcastic.

GoSakuramachi Fri 12-Oct-12 12:40:51

I'm not remotely naive and work in a social media job. I can assure you I know far more about it than you. Facebook can not take your videos and use them in a global marketing campaign, that is a fact. Though why you would imagine anyone would be interested in your, no doubt cute to you, home videos of badly singing children on a wonkily held camera phone is a mystery.

titchy Fri 12-Oct-12 12:42:12

Couthy you posted in some distress ages agao when your (AS?) ds was dragged across a field with his trousers round his ankles.

Imagine some little shit child had filmed that, and their stupid fuckwit indulgent parents had posted their little 'joke' on FB for just their 'friends' to see, and their friends, and their friends. And suddetnly EVERYONE has seen your child being publically humiliated....

Would you be up in arms? Or supporting those parents who posted the original video as their right to post a visoe of their child?

GeorgianMumto5 Fri 12-Oct-12 12:42:13

It's a massive headache for schools. Our HT always says, 'You are welcome to take photos or videos, but these are for your own use only. If you want to post them on social media sites, please make sure you have permission from the parents of every child in your photo or video.' People ignore her, mind you. hmm However, if she finds out there is one on fb, she approaches that parent directly to ask them if they have permission.

SeveredEdMcDunnough Fri 12-Oct-12 12:42:16

I can't talk to you if you're going to be so snarky. I really can't. You seem to think we're all stupid.

SeveredEdMcDunnough Fri 12-Oct-12 12:42:28

Thatwas to Gosakura btw.

alienreflux Fri 12-Oct-12 12:43:24

is everyone on drugs today? or has someone slipped some in my tea, cos normally cool posters are acting v.weird

SeveredEdMcDunnough Fri 12-Oct-12 12:45:11

I was thinking that Alien.

Unless you're talking about me of course.

mamabanana Fri 12-Oct-12 12:49:06

Gosh, just been out working for a couple of hours and returned to find I've opened a can of worms. I can see both side of the arguments and as I have said, I have no objections to parents videoing my kids and sharing with their family. However, I really don't think facebook or any other social media is the way to do that. I would hate for the school to ban parents from taking any sort of photos or videos, but it will happen if people are going to post them in a way which could endanger the safety of children in care. And if people aren't up to scratch with managing privacy settings (which I believe to the case for the majority of facebook users), then they should not be doing this.

I have never been worried about this from the angle of some random paedo seeing the pictures, it is purely in the interest of following policies to safeguard children.

GoSakuramachi Fri 12-Oct-12 12:53:25

I don't think anyone is stupid, except for those asserting complete rubbish about FB stealing your videos and pictures to use for nefarious purposes.

alienreflux Fri 12-Oct-12 12:54:20

No ed, not you.
the compromise, is email ffs LEARN don't brush off genuine concerns, proven to be founded, with total knobbish... it's MY KID my choice wtf?

alienreflux Fri 12-Oct-12 12:55:03

good point titchy, our kids should be our choice too.

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 12-Oct-12 12:55:59

That would be different. A bullying incident is not comparable to my child standing in front of an audience singing.

If they had posted a video of that, it would be cyber bullying. It's not cyber bullying to post an innocuous short video of a school assembly, a pleasant occurrence.

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 13:00:09

But the result can be even worse for some children that bullying by their peers.

Do you accept that some birth families stalk the internet, looking for evidence of their children, and trying to find where they are? Because it is becoming increasingly a problem for adopted children.

GoSakamura, for me this is nothing to do with evil Facebook selling anything, or about evil unknown paedos. This is real danger, for real children, from people who are living not very far away.

UltraBOF Fri 12-Oct-12 13:08:16

Emailing video on an iPhone is just as easy as posting to Facebook.

Click on the video, click the arrow at the bottom of the screen, then it takes you to a screen to email, post to Facebook, sent as a text message, all sorts. Just click the email button instead of the Facebook one.

stoatie Fri 12-Oct-12 13:09:52

Some years ago (thankfully pre facebook) a family who were at the same school as my children were on the witness protection scheme had been relocated etc because of a real danger. I only knew because I was involved with the family through work. If another parent had included video of that family it would have immediately identified their location.........

The reality is most of us (quite rightly) know very little about our children's classmates, and therefore have no idea of the potential implications of posting videos and where that video might end up or the ramifications that may have.

EasilyBored Fri 12-Oct-12 13:11:07

I thought it was just manners that you don't post photos of any children that are not your own (even if they are in the background of a school photo) on FB without the other parent's permission?

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 12-Oct-12 13:11:19

I care, but IMO, it is ridiculous to state that I can't share pictures with my DC in as I see fit. And fb is how I choose to do that.

I can see that this might seem selfish, but my far flung family were the ones who fostered me. It is VERY important to me to keep them involved in my DC's lives by posting these videos and pictures. And it's very important for me that my DC's have a strong connection with these people because if anything happens to me, it will be one of them that takes care of them.

Why are my valid concerns somehow less than the FC/adoptive parent's concerns?

Ok, so I now know that some people don't like these videos on fb. But fb is how my family communicate. We don't email, it's not instant enough. We do fb chat and Skype. I want something where they can see it as soon as I post it, WHILE I'm chatting to them!

Why is that so wrong?

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 13:13:37

The reason you should be more careful is that you have many, many alternatives to Facebook.

A video doesn't have to be instant confused, send it and then ring them.

Surely you can't only talk to them at specific times.

I think you are making excuses, and haven't really thought it through.

dd is 16 now, and is still afraid that her birth family will turn up at the school gate. She has worried about it a lot in the past. Some children aren't just worried, they are terrified sad.

UltraBOF Fri 12-Oct-12 13:13:53

But email is every bit as instant. If you have an iPhone, the button to open email is there just like the Facebook button. As it is on every laptop.

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