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to think that 40 years old is NOT too old to become a Mother, whether it is tbe first time or not?

(287 Posts)
SoleSource Thu 11-Oct-12 16:47:19

I am 39 soon and would like to have another baby.

expatinscotland Thu 11-Oct-12 16:49:06


A good friend of mine is trying for her second and she's 39. It took 3 years to conceive their first, and he died of Pontine's glioma, age 19 months.

They have a beautiful home, good jobs.

She's having IVF, and I hope it works and it's twins!

valiumredhead Thu 11-Oct-12 16:49:26

Lots of people do. Worth remembering you will be 50 when they are 10 - that's enough to put me off, I'm knackered now let alone at 50 grin

OddBoots Thu 11-Oct-12 16:50:56

It's not automatically too old but for some women is is biologically - not that there is only one way to become a mother. Each to their own.

AgentZigzag Thu 11-Oct-12 16:51:17

I had DD2 when I was 39, I am old, but obviously not too old to have another baby grin

Didn't there used to be a long running thread in chat about having a baby over 40?

Vagndidit Thu 11-Oct-12 16:52:16

valium: "Worth remembering you will be 50 when they are 10 - that's enough to put me off"

I didn't realize 50 was that old either. Maybe when I was 21 I thought so, but in my late 30's...? Not so much.

40 is a fine age to have a child.

AgentZigzag Thu 11-Oct-12 16:52:48

I've just finished doing the school run for DD1 and I can't believe I've signed up for another five years of it in two years time!

BadgersGhostlyRetreatWoo Thu 11-Oct-12 16:53:02

i'm 36 and doc told me 2 years ago i need to get on with it if i ever want a baby...

could have slapped her

PacificDogwood Thu 11-Oct-12 16:53:06

I was 37 with DS1 and had DS4 a few weeks before my 44th boithday, so YANBU of course grin.

Who is telling you you are too old?
Too old how? Biologically (there is no point in arguing with facts about increased risks)? Mentally wink?

I agree with valium, it is worthwhile considering how old you are going to be when they are 10/teenagers/leaving school etc.

I am perma-knackered (DS4 is a 2 1/2 year old tornado of a child), but also quite luscious <<biased>>

PacificDogwood Thu 11-Oct-12 16:54:03

The Fabulous Over-40 ladies are still there AFAIK

SoleSource Thu 11-Oct-12 16:54:06

My friend's Mom at school was in her 50's and my friend was 11.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 11-Oct-12 16:54:37

I was 39 when I had DS2 and DH was 43. It's not too old at all and neither is being 50 with a 10yo. My parents were 43 and 47 when I was born. We have big generational gaps in my family grin

Hulababy Thu 11-Oct-12 16:54:48

I am 39y (40y in Feb) and don't feel too old to become a mum again. I had DD at 29y and not been ale to conceive since. Haven't totally ruled it out yet though.

sue52 Thu 11-Oct-12 16:55:01

YANBU. I had DD2 at 44. The only down side is radio one in the morning when I would much rather the today program on radio4.

Pagwatch Thu 11-Oct-12 16:55:33

I am 50. My youngest dc is 10.
It is easy peasy. I am not knackered at 50.
I have found being a parent to her waaaay easier than my eldest who I had at 31

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Thu 11-Oct-12 16:55:33

'Too old' as in 'you shouldn't'. No.

'Too old' as in 'might it be more difficult to conceive, carry to term etc', well possibly. My family have early menopause, so I could easily be too old to have another baby at 39. Others will be fine at 45 or later.

PinkChampagneandStrawberries Thu 11-Oct-12 16:56:57

No it's not my lovely cousin had DD5 at 39 and she says she has had much more enjoyment from the youngest 2 than she did with the 3 older ones.

OneHandFlapping Thu 11-Oct-12 16:57:17

Older parents are a tradition in our family too. DM was 39 when she had her last, and my aunt was 42. MIL was also 42 when she had her last.

I was 41. Having a child in your 40s isn't a new phenomenon.

VerySmallSqueak Thu 11-Oct-12 16:57:47

You're only 38 at present.

I had my second at 37.


NotGeoffVader Thu 11-Oct-12 16:57:56

Not too old! shock at the rude doc.

I started ttc at 36 - until then was not interested in children. Didn't go for tests or IVF but did have some (initially undetected and unrelated directly to fertility) health issues. I had DD when I was 42.

I don't feel too old to do it again. Whether I have the patience, and whether DH would agree to another???

wordfactory Thu 11-Oct-12 16:58:05

I personally wouldn't want to have a baby at that age, OP, but there is no reason why anyone should feel the same way.

I have friends who are older Mums and they love it and are doing a fine job.

theDudesmummy Thu 11-Oct-12 16:58:38

I had my one and only baby at nearly 46

lisaro Thu 11-Oct-12 16:58:50

Depends totally on the person-physically, emotionally, and your whole outlook. Some people would be fab at any age. Some people are old before their time. In that situation I think it's wrong.

hoopieghirl Thu 11-Oct-12 16:59:20

I was 37 when I had dd and 43 when I had ds, love them to bits but it is tiring esp ds as he is now 7 and wants to run around playing. Very personal choice tbh but some days I wish I had my children when I was younger.

MissPricklePants Thu 11-Oct-12 16:59:20

I am in my late twenties, dd will be 17 when I am 40 so I would not want to have to go back to newborns. But it is not too old. Saying that my parents are in their late 40's/early 50's and my Dad would love another baby, my Mum is not so keen (they have already had 6)

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