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to think that banning the use of the word "God" is a bit much?

(362 Posts)
MiniMonty Thu 11-Oct-12 01:55:06

Need the opinions of many women and Mothers here...
The wife has suddenly stated that she is "offended" by our three kids (and me) saying "oh God" or "God in heaven" or "for God's sake" etc as she has recently become a bit God Squad and rediscovered her Christianity.

Caused a huge row over the kitchen table three nights ago and it rumbles on with wife being pretty committed to the idea that no one should be allowed to say "Oh God" or "for God's sake" etc.,

My view is that this is unreasonable (and a bit silly) and even if you take it seriously in terms of not offending peoples' religious ideas - still a bit silly.

Am I wrong?

It's been rumbling on for three days and nights now and I need something...

All and any cast iron responses to the religious bullying very much appreciated.

CaliforniaLeaving Thu 11-Oct-12 02:05:41

I think she's lost the plot.
If she wasn't this religious till recently what has happened to make her suddenly change?

hoopieghirl Thu 11-Oct-12 02:06:01

Don't know if its religious bullying, if she genuinley finds it offensive then she is right to say so imo. Much bigger problems to get stressed over I would have thought but hey ho each to their own.

Mayisout Thu 11-Oct-12 02:27:32

Can you just change it to 'for Heaven's sake?'.

My DS's girlfriend's parents are church goers and I notice he has stopped saying God in everyday life. I am quite impressed really.

Think he says 'My word' instead.

Softlysoftly Thu 11-Oct-12 02:35:13

YABU it's one of the basic 10 commandments, "Don't take his name in vain" (wording?). My mother finds it offensive do I don't use religious profanities around her out of respect and love for her.

If you respect and love your wife it's a very simple thing she's asking. Your issues with her discovery of religion go ever you need go discuss in a matura, adult way if it's bothering you.

Softlysoftly Thu 11-Oct-12 02:38:03

Wow that last sentence went a bit sleep deprived didn't it confused

however you need to discuss in a mature - that's better!

AmIthatbad Thu 11-Oct-12 02:47:23

"The wife has suddenly....."

For that alone YABU

AdoraBell Thu 11-Oct-12 02:56:52

Why has she suddenly made this change? And yes, YABU to use the term The Wife.

Other than that, I have moderated my language considerably since moving to a very catholic country. It's not just a word to someone who is religious, it's blasphemy, according to my old RE teacher, or to give it it's other term- taking the Lord's name in vien. So a religious person could easily be offended by what some else sees as just a word.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 11-Oct-12 04:00:49

I'm an atheist and I don't say it. FWIW, I think it's a bit off. My goodness is what I end up saying because I start to say my God say. YANBU to wonder why she has suddenly got religious. That bit would be an issue in our house.

ripsishere Thu 11-Oct-12 04:17:32

Another atheist. I don't use it. EVER. My R/C DD occasionally says OMG or uses the whole sentence.
FWIW, there are more important things to argue about.

sashh Thu 11-Oct-12 04:54:57

Say "Oh my godess" instead.

startwig1982 Thu 11-Oct-12 05:20:40

I'm a Christian and don't say it obviously and would rather other people didn't as well. My family don't out of respect for my faith. Maybe you could accommodate your wife's wishes? It's not a big thing, surely?

izzybobsmum Thu 11-Oct-12 06:06:53

I'm not particularly religious, but I don't like it either. I've taught my DD to say "Oh my gosh" instead, which may sound a bit twee but is infinitely preferable IMO.

izzybobsmum Thu 11-Oct-12 06:12:27

And I forgot to say, YABU. It's not a huge thing, but it would clearly mean a lot to your wife.

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 11-Oct-12 06:12:29

It doesn't bother me, but I can understand why it bothers some people - as pointed out, it's a pretty basic bit of Christian doctrine, not to do so.

You say she's 'rediscovered' her Christianity, so you knew she was Christian before.

Comments that she's 'lost the plot' sound a bit stupid, TBH.

CheerfulYank Thu 11-Oct-12 06:13:49

I am religious but used to say it all the time. However, I don't now because I have DS and I just think it sounds off coming from a child. I say gosh or goodness or some random word.

The other day at work (cinema) I broke a film and have to admit I did lay out the full on JFC quite loudly. blush

AmIthatbad Thu 11-Oct-12 06:14:04

I did initially focus on the use of "the wife" which was bad enough

I can see how someone with religious leanings would be offended at the blasphemy.
Why not just moderate your language/vocabulary

NorksAreMessy Thu 11-Oct-12 06:17:37

I am more upset about you calling her the wife sad

Have you talked about this rationally and calmly? (Not in the middle of an argument ?) to find out why she feels like this. You seem to have just weighed in with 'this is silly, you shouldn't do it'. That really isn't going to resolve anything?
Reading your OP, you seem to dismiss her feelings out of hand. I am a confirmed atheist, but calling her choices 'God squad', 'unreasonable' and 'silly' is disrespectful and unkind.
What she is doing is not religious bullying, it is asking the family to respect HER. What you are showing by your OP, and by your desire to 'win' is that you don't respect her. You are showing the children that you do not respect their mother.

You might not agree with her, but you should respect her.

Some0ne Thu 11-Oct-12 06:19:56

I'm an atheist and I don't say it, I know my PILs would be bothered by it and I don't want my kids saying it. The English language isn't so limited as to make it a problem, surely?

The sudden religion-thing would bother me if DH did it. A lot.

mummytime Thu 11-Oct-12 06:20:16

YABU
I actually find most of your post offensive, if it is real: "the wife" derogatory to her; that it is silly even if you take religion seriously - it seems stupid not to take religion "seriously" whatever your beliefs are; and your total lack of respect for the views of anyone else, especially a wife you have vowed to "love and cherish".

birdofthenorth Thu 11-Oct-12 06:24:21

I can see why you find it weird as (a) it's just words to you and (b) words that you and your DC have used for a while. But, it is now offending your partner, and will be quietly offending others along the way (who won't mention it because a lot of people these days -yourself included?- frankly think anyone of faith has lost the plot). I more or less stopped using those terms when faith and church became more important to me, an did they do trip out of my mouth I feel remorse! I am not frequently offended by others but have occasionally clocked the number of sentences on Mumsnet beginning with "Christ!" and wished there were fewer.

I appreciate you can't change established patterns of speech over night but out of respect for DW it wouldn't hurt to give it a try would it?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 11-Oct-12 06:25:53

Is this real?

I am an atheist (as is my DH) I find you referring to the "god squad" in relation to your wife a bit dismissive. Are you angry with her for changing? If so, you need to address that.

As for banning For God's Sake. I have told my children that outside of the home there are plenty of people who would find this offensive, and to not use it.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 11-Oct-12 06:29:56

Just re-read - you do sound angry - you feel she is bullying you? You want us to tell you how to respond to her bullying?

I am not convinced she is bullying you. It sounds more like you've taken up "postions" and aren't willing to listen and compromise.

JustSpiro Thu 11-Oct-12 06:37:52

Totally agree with birdofthenorth

It isn't easy, and tbh in 10 years of churchgoing I haven't totally managed to erase those expressions from my repertoire - they still slip out occasionally if I am genuinely gobsmacked at something blush, but I make an effort, particularly around those I know would be more upset by those phrases than I would.

It really would do you no harm to make a bit of an effort. Whether or not you agree with your wife's (or anyone else's) beliefs you should still show some respect for them and teach your children to do the same, which doen;t appear to be what's happening at the moment.

Incidentally I don't know how old your children are but my DD is 8 and would get very short shrift from me if I heard her using those expressions.

mutny Thu 11-Oct-12 07:39:16

Yabu. She has the right to tell you she finds this offensive and ask you to stop. As her husband you should respect that and at leats try.

In regards to 'the wife' comment. Please stop clutching you pearls knees. His dw may like that term. Some people don't mind being called 'the mrs' etc. Don't get offended on her behalf.

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