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in not allowing my ex to let my 5yr old daughter talk to her death row boyfriend on the phone

(116 Posts)
munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 22:00:57

She's been 'involved' with death row inmates since we split 2 yaers ago. She's sent pictures of our kids to them before and I asked her not to involve them in her relationships before now but I recently found out that she was allowing our youngest daughter to talk to her latest squeeze when he calls (using his illegally held mobile phone which inadvertanly have been paying for with the money I give to her for the kids).
It creeps me out to know she's been doing this and I've asked for a signed letter to say she's not going to do it again.
She's a pretty fancy piece of work but I really don't understand how even she can possibly think that what she is doing is in any way right.

Narked Wed 10-Oct-12 22:37:53


Benefit of the doubt.

Contact the prison and report it.

Ask her she thinks is happening to the pictures of her DC. In a prison. With convicted child killers. Where pictures of children are valuable currency.

Report it as a child protection issue to SS.

munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 22:38:36

She has residency, she kept the house and the kids. I have now, finally managed to get my own place and have the kids at the weekends.

shesariver Wed 10-Oct-12 22:40:10

I can believe this, some women are just fascinated and insane interested in these type of relationships - at least they know where "their" man is at night! Kenny Richie had lots of these dafties swearing undying love to him when he was on death row.

GoldShip Wed 10-Oct-12 22:41:39

Can't believe some of the posters on here, give a little benefit of the doubt for once, wonder if this would have got the same reaction if the ex was a male...

GoldShip Wed 10-Oct-12 22:42:10

Munkiboy what have you actually said to her regarding this?

arthurfowlersallotment Wed 10-Oct-12 22:43:56

Well OP, on the one hand, there's a fair chance your child is chatting with a sociopath. On the other hand, he isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

I'd knock it on the head pretty quickly if I were you. Seek legal advice.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 10-Oct-12 22:44:56

have you actually asked her not to and explained why you dont want her to?

whilst being less than ideal and something i wouldnt be happy about if it were one of my kids, im not sure why it goes as far as being a cp at risk issue, unless your saying he is saying inappropreate or abusive things to your dd.

have you spoken to a solisiter?

PickledFanjoCat Wed 10-Oct-12 22:45:36

Yes he would!

I don't just hang about looking for men to be mean to.

munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 22:47:04

It's ok. TBH I sometimes wonder whether it's real myself. I start to wonder if I'm the baddy in all of this but then I realise that it's true and I have to be strong for my childrens' sake. Beleive me I have had some pretty tough times with this over the last couple of years, my children have been the reason I've got throught it.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Wed 10-Oct-12 22:48:16

Can't see the appeal of being mean for the sake of it - no one's even said anything particularly funny.

RedTuesdayGreenWednesday Wed 10-Oct-12 22:48:22

Perhaps I'll retract my comment...

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 10-Oct-12 22:51:27

op you do know that loads of solisiters offer free advice clinics it may be worth finding one in your area and asking about it.

munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 22:53:05

I spoke to her about it, explained that her relationships are her business and that our children were not part of that.
She said she would write a letter stating this would not happen again but she's a pathalogical liar and has given me assurances like this before (after the photograph incident) and not stuck to them.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 10-Oct-12 22:56:01

its possible that you could apply for a prohibited steps order to prevent her doing it again.

GoldShip Wed 10-Oct-12 22:56:20

She's being a very silly woman. How old are your children if you don't mind me asking?

munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 22:59:27

10, 9, 6, 5 and 4.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Wed 10-Oct-12 23:01:12

A lot of solicitors do offer a free initial half hour's advice. Might be worth ring a few to find a suitable one. Or CAB could give you a list.

FizzyLaces Wed 10-Oct-12 23:03:41

If I was you I would be getting advice about how to get residency of the children. If she is dedicating a massive amount of time to this and you are dedicating amassive amount of your time to worrying about it, I know who I think should be looking after the kids. And it's not the person who is letting her infant speak to a murderer they have never met and have no link to.

imperialstateknickers Wed 10-Oct-12 23:04:45

Is it just the five year old that has been in phone contact?

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Wed 10-Oct-12 23:06:21

Inmates on death row in the US are allowed mobile phones? Really?

Honestly, I thought they were shit-hot on confiscating that kind of thing. Not that I'm an expert on death row or anything. Silence of the Lambs is my main source of information.

munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 23:06:57

You're right about solicitors. NSPCC told me about free legal advice for matters involving children.
My concern is the can of worms it opens when she finds out. I'm pretty worried about how she would be as up til now she's been good about me seeing the kids. She's likely to turn nasty very quickly.

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Wed 10-Oct-12 23:07:27

Aargh, pressed post too soon.

Could you somehow report him for having a mobile phone to the prison authorities?

PickledFanjoCat Wed 10-Oct-12 23:08:15

I think they were extra strict due to Hannibals lust for man-flesh.

imperialstateknickers Wed 10-Oct-12 23:08:29

That's why I was wondering about what sort of written agreement etc you have with her.

munkiboy1971 Wed 10-Oct-12 23:09:02

The eldest ones haven't but my youngest 2 have, apparently.

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