Wild Fishcakes Roaming The New Forest.

[TiggyD]

AIBU in wishing genetically modified food and animals would end up being more like the type of thing that happens in cartoons?

I want to go to the New Forest during fishcake season with a fishcake net and hunt the little breadcrumbed critters that run around there.
I want real haggis re-introduced back onto Scottish hillsides.
I want Clangers.
I want whales with lasers for eyes so they can sink whaling ships.
I want giant talking turtles to fight crime.

Is that too much to ask?

[TunipTheVegemal]

Wow Tiggy, that's the most sense you've talked on Mumsnet for years!

[DuaneDibbley]

I'd love to see some free range chicken goujons roaming around :)

[TunipTheVegemal]

I think turkey twizzlers would be prone to illness though, like some really extreme breeds of dog are.

[TiggyD]

I've just had a lot of sugar. It helps me see clearly.

[TiggyD]

I assume turkey twizzlers would live at the top of stairs waiting for something to arrive at the bottom. They would then pounce like a slinky, gently whirring down the stairs and tangle their prey to catch it.

[MardyBra]

You can't eat clangers! You, you, you



you, clangist, you.

[TunipTheVegemal]

How disgusting! I will never eat a turkey twizzler again!

[TiggyD]

I wouldn't eat clangers. I'm not bonkers. I want to bring them back from extinction/make believe (Kind of the same thing when you think about it), follow them to their blue string pudding trees, and possibly milk them.

[TunipTheVegemal]

OK. Now this is what worries me about the chicken goujons.
They escape, go feral in towns and we get a big problem with urban goujons. They will hunt in packs and squeeze through the weldmesh of people's chicken runs and eat their chickens. They will also forage in bins and eat other leftover goujons. This cannibalisation will lead to a buildup of disease. And unscrupulous takeaway owners will get poisoned goujons from the pestcontrol people and students will eat them.

[PurplePidjin]

The fishcakes would poison the ponies, so we'd have to introduce lethal chip butties to hunt them down p.

A whole new meaning to pannage

[TiggyD]

Put bells on the ponies so the fishcakes can escape.

[MardyBra]

Why would wild fishcakes be in the New Forest.
What a daft post. Surely you recognise that they need a good supply of water to survive. They rent deckchairs and lick on rocket lollies down the road at Boscombe beach.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Ooh, yes!

And crinkle-cut chips could breed with the chicken nuggets, as I always dreamed they would when I was a wee babe ...

[Montypig]

Two words :

Fish fingers

Creepy if they are roaming wild -

[PurplePidjin]

MardyBra:

Wootton Stream

[ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin]

Turkey twizzlers are the feral pigeon of the cartoon food world.

[ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin]

Whereas potato waffles are the all-singing, all-dancing top hat wearing entertainers.

[TunipTheVegemal]

And Balmer (sp?) Lawns, where the kids go paddling. It won't be safe when the waters are full of fishcakes

[PurplePidjin]

Fishcakes are the only natural predator of the mink...

[ScaryBeardyCandyman]

Can we have vegemals? They're a full meal in one animal!

[ScaryBeardyCandyman]

And I'd like to have a black pudding that I can ride around the Sussex downs on whilst humming the black beauty theme.

[DuaneDibbley]

Chicken goujons are the upper class relatives of chicken nuggets. They only meet at weddings and funerals, and it never goes well.

[Startailoforangeandgold]

But there are already haggis roaming free in Scotland. They have haggis dogs to hunt them. They have shorter legs on one side for running round mountains. They come in clockwise and anti-clockwise subspecies.

[MardyBra]

Can we go international on this?

I have visions of frankfurter sausages dressed in lederhosen slapping their thighs as they dash through the black forest.

Or lardy-looking saussisons lolling nonchalantly outside roadside cafés as they puff on their gauloises.

[DuaneDibbley]

Have you met Rissoles? They were banished to Australia like criminals.