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Wild Fishcakes Roaming The New Forest.

(40 Posts)
TiggyD Wed 10-Oct-12 17:55:45

AIBU in wishing genetically modified food and animals would end up being more like the type of thing that happens in cartoons?

I want to go to the New Forest during fishcake season with a fishcake net and hunt the little breadcrumbed critters that run around there.
I want real haggis re-introduced back onto Scottish hillsides.
I want Clangers.
I want whales with lasers for eyes so they can sink whaling ships.
I want giant talking turtles to fight crime.

Is that too much to ask?

TunipTheVegemal Wed 10-Oct-12 17:56:55

Wow Tiggy, that's the most sense you've talked on Mumsnet for years! wink

DuaneDibbley Wed 10-Oct-12 17:59:20

I'd love to see some free range chicken goujons roaming around smile

TunipTheVegemal Wed 10-Oct-12 18:00:38

I think turkey twizzlers would be prone to illness though, like some really extreme breeds of dog are.

TiggyD Wed 10-Oct-12 18:01:03

I've just had a lot of sugar. It helps me see clearly.

TiggyD Wed 10-Oct-12 18:03:38

I assume turkey twizzlers would live at the top of stairs waiting for something to arrive at the bottom. They would then pounce like a slinky, gently whirring down the stairs and tangle their prey to catch it.

MardyBra Wed 10-Oct-12 18:06:55

You can't eat clangers! You, you, you

<searches for suitable word>

you, clangist, you.

TunipTheVegemal Wed 10-Oct-12 18:08:20

How disgusting! I will never eat a turkey twizzler again!

TiggyD Wed 10-Oct-12 18:10:52

I wouldn't eat clangers. I'm not bonkers. I want to bring them back from extinction/make believe (Kind of the same thing when you think about it), follow them to their blue string pudding trees, and possibly milk them.

TunipTheVegemal Wed 10-Oct-12 18:12:18

OK. Now this is what worries me about the chicken goujons.
They escape, go feral in towns and we get a big problem with urban goujons. They will hunt in packs and squeeze through the weldmesh of people's chicken runs and eat their chickens. They will also forage in bins and eat other leftover goujons. This cannibalisation will lead to a buildup of disease. And unscrupulous takeaway owners will get poisoned goujons from the pestcontrol people and students will eat them.

PurplePidjin Wed 10-Oct-12 18:17:04

The fishcakes would poison the ponies, so we'd have to introduce lethal chip butties to hunt them down p.

A whole new meaning to pannage hmm

TiggyD Wed 10-Oct-12 18:20:25

Put bells on the ponies so the fishcakes can escape.

MardyBra Wed 10-Oct-12 18:20:27

Why would wild fishcakes be in the New Forest.
What a daft post. Surely you recognise that they need a good supply of water to survive. They rent deckchairs and lick on rocket lollies down the road at Boscombe beach.

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 10-Oct-12 18:21:04

Ooh, yes!

And crinkle-cut chips could breed with the chicken nuggets, as I always dreamed they would when I was a wee babe ...

Montypig Wed 10-Oct-12 18:22:19

Two words :

Fish fingers

Creepy if they are roaming wild -

PurplePidjin Wed 10-Oct-12 18:27:45

MardyBra:

Wootton Stream

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Wed 10-Oct-12 18:30:52

Turkey twizzlers are the feral pigeon of the cartoon food world.

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Wed 10-Oct-12 18:31:54

Whereas potato waffles are the all-singing, all-dancing top hat wearing entertainers.

TunipTheVegemal Wed 10-Oct-12 18:34:07

And Balmer (sp?) Lawns, where the kids go paddling. It won't be safe when the waters are full of fishcakes sad

PurplePidjin Wed 10-Oct-12 18:49:13

Fishcakes are the only natural predator of the mink...

ScaryBeardyCandyman Wed 10-Oct-12 19:19:09

Can we have vegemals? They're a full meal in one animal!

ScaryBeardyCandyman Wed 10-Oct-12 19:20:18

And I'd like to have a black pudding that I can ride around the Sussex downs on whilst humming the black beauty theme.

DuaneDibbley Wed 10-Oct-12 19:33:59

Chicken goujons are the upper class relatives of chicken nuggets. They only meet at weddings and funerals, and it never goes well.

Startailoforangeandgold Wed 10-Oct-12 19:46:32

But there are already haggis roaming free in Scotland. They have haggis dogs to hunt them. They have shorter legs on one side for running round mountains. They come in clockwise and anti-clockwise subspecies.

MardyBra Wed 10-Oct-12 19:55:07

Can we go international on this?

I have visions of frankfurter sausages dressed in lederhosen slapping their thighs as they dash through the black forest.

Or lardy-looking saussisons lolling nonchalantly outside roadside cafés as they puff on their gauloises.

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