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I feel awful but AIBU

(41 Posts)
Whistlingwaves Wed 10-Oct-12 16:10:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag Wed 10-Oct-12 16:13:17

Your granddad wanted you to have it, you shouldn't feel bad about that in any way.

His daughter is trying to stir it up by asking when she knows it belongs to you now.

She's caused any upset, not you.

Twitterqueen Wed 10-Oct-12 16:13:23

Don't give it back - keep it for your DD.
If you're feeling generous you can offer to lend it if there's a family wedding in the offing. But make it crystal clear you expect it back - cleaned - afterwards.

ginmakesitallok Wed 10-Oct-12 16:16:27

No - keep it. Your grandfather gave it to you while he was alive - she has no call on it at all. It is YOUR wedding dress now.

chipsandmushypeas Wed 10-Oct-12 16:16:54

No, it's yours.

sugariceAndScary Wed 10-Oct-12 16:18:21

Keep it and don't lend it out.

It's a special remembrance of your Grandma and very important to your Dad if he didn't receive any chattels himself..

HollyGoHeavily Wed 10-Oct-12 16:18:55

It's yours - your grandad gave it to you.

Paiviaso Wed 10-Oct-12 16:20:10

Keep it, it's your dress now.

DyeInTheEar Wed 10-Oct-12 16:20:32

This is your aunt asking for it - have I got that right? And it's your Dad saying no to on your behalf?

Don't feel badly. She should have had this discussion with your grandfather - her father - whilst he was alive. It's your wedding dress now and I understand completely why you'd want to keep it for your DD.

What (who) does she actually want it for?

DyeInTheEar Wed 10-Oct-12 16:21:03

* no, too, on your behalf.

ArthurShappey Wed 10-Oct-12 16:22:22

Gosh family deaths can bring out the worst in people. Your grandfather gave it to you. It is your wedding dress. YANBU.

I'm sorry for the loss of your grandad.

overmydeadbody Wed 10-Oct-12 16:24:11

Your grandad gave you the dress, so now it belongs to you.


Just say NO.

InTheNightGarden Wed 10-Oct-12 16:24:45

silly question... easy answer smile

keep it smile it was given to you, its yours smile your nan would have wanted YOU to have it especially as you've gone to the trouble of having it cleaned, altered and so on...

what is your dads sister on? hasn't she had enough!

Shutupanddrive Wed 10-Oct-12 16:27:14

No it's yours, why does she want it anyway?

InTheNightGarden Wed 10-Oct-12 16:27:34

also would disagree with lending it out.... if your aunt asks you may never get it back!

FireOverBabylon Wed 10-Oct-12 16:28:39

Keep it. I had something similar with my engagement ring. It was my MIL's mother's ring and my MIL gave it to my DH to give it to me when we got engaged. Ther her older sister stuck her oar in about how MIL, the youngest daughter, couldn't possibly have the engagement ring because it would have been offered to older siblings first and even if it was she had no right to give it away. sad

DMIL was given it by her dad just after her mum died and has the original 1922 invoice to go with it which describes the ring, and she has given them both to me. I've kept the ring but don't want to wear it because I know it would cause rows if we visited MIL's sister. However, it is mine, was given to me by someone who had a legitimate claim on it and I'll be passing it on to my grandson's fiance if I ever have one. I do hate how people do this - why would your aunt even want a wedding dress which is no longer the one her mother wore as it's been fitted to suit someone else?

ZiggyPlayedGuitar Wed 10-Oct-12 16:29:17

Yanbu, I agree with InTheNightGarden

Keep it, don't feel bad.

Whistlingwaves Wed 10-Oct-12 16:31:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whistlingwaves Wed 10-Oct-12 16:36:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DyeInTheEar Wed 10-Oct-12 18:00:20

Is your dad upset though? And surely he's just upset with her being u and would be more upset if you gave her the dress?

She's not being reasonable IMO.

StatisticallyChallenged Wed 10-Oct-12 18:06:41

YANBU, tell her to bugger off. (ok, that may be harsh but...) it's your dress, it was given to you, end of story.

I suspect your dad will be upset if you give it up anyway as then nothing will have come to his side of the family. I would keep it.

Tiredmumno1 Wed 10-Oct-12 18:12:11

Tbh I think you should keep it as well

OurPlanetNeptune Wed 10-Oct-12 18:25:49

You are NBU. It belongs to you now. Under these circumstances I would not even lend it to her.

AGreenie Wed 10-Oct-12 18:35:15

Maybe your grandad meant 'brought it back' as in made it beautiful again rather than given it back?
I would say its yours now, yanbu!

Whistlingwaves Wed 10-Oct-12 18:38:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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