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Getting really bloody fed up with my DP!

(15 Posts)
sammyleh Mon 08-Oct-12 16:40:26

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and feeling really well. Pregnancy is going very well but DP is just annoying me with his constant list of things he wants to do.

Basically there's a few things going on. Where we live is not bad we have a beautiful home which we've been happy in for about 5 years now. But for the past year we've wanted to move. It doesn't happen often but noisy people walking by at the weekend wakes us up - it's not a major problem but DP lets it get to him quite a lot. Now he's adamant we need to move.

Our car is on finance, its going to take a few years to clear it but we can afford it - not a problem at all. Coupled with how much the whole house moving idea annoys him, this also gets to him, he doesn't want to pay it anymore but wants to save for a house deposit instead. I love our car, we bought it due to baby coming as its bigger etc and suits us brilliantly.

He also wants to buy a new bike to go to work on, but then doesn't want to sell the one he already has... and so it goes on.

We're going to be first-time parents in the next couple of weeks and this constant want for everything right now rather than waiting is absolutely driving me mental! I've got to get my head around becoming a mum and I need his support, not his sulky face. There's nothing wrong with our lives and we're really fortunate to be in such a good financial position, have a nice home and a nice car etc. Things really are great but he just can't seem to shift these ideas. I've always been very patient and waited for the things I want in life, I think maybe he's had it too easy which contributes to these feelings he's having.

It sounds like a rant but I guess I just want some advice on how to approach the situation without sounding like a cow. I want to tell him to be grateful for what we have rather than wanting to change everything but I can't think of how to go about it. Help! xx

Euphemia Mon 08-Oct-12 16:48:23

He's maybe nervous about the impending massive change to your lives, and focussing on things he can control.

My DH is like this: he wants to do, to sort, to fix.

Any nursery furniture needing built? grin

sammyleh Mon 08-Oct-12 16:54:14

You're probably right, he's always wanting to do something. If its not one thing its another. For example... when he found out we were expecting he decided to build a road bike from scratch and it was meant to be his 9-month project (like my 9-month baby-growing project) It took him about 3 weeks and he'd completed it.

Sadly, nursery furniture was al built in a single day too. I might just send him out running tonight to clear his head. I wonder if I can get away with doing this every night? smile

Euphemia Mon 08-Oct-12 17:33:50

Sounds like a plan! smile

ThreeWheelsGood Mon 08-Oct-12 17:37:22

I agree, he's projecting his feelings about the baby into other stuff. Thinking about the future, change, things he can control. The baby will arrive before long and he can concentrate on that!

AThingInYourLife Mon 08-Oct-12 17:41:39

"It took him about 3 weeks and he'd completed it."

envy

Imagine if you could've done that? grin

Softlysoftly Mon 08-Oct-12 17:46:15

Male nesting!

CaliforniaLeaving Mon 08-Oct-12 19:52:51

It's a crazy man thing. My Dh had similar stuff going on when I was close to my due date. He drove me crazy the first time and I was expecting it the second time. He rebuilt his car engine first time and kept redecorating the house. Second time he wanted to start up his own business grin I rolled my eyes and carried on as normal.

PurplePidjin Mon 08-Oct-12 19:58:56

Aw bless, it sounds quite sweet actually! He's all cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof about being a Daddy!

I send mine running too when he gets twitchy about stuff - luckily he cycles to his current job which keeps the endorphins sorted. Could you get yours a frame from the tip and set him to restoring himself a bike? Or some kind of vintage pedal car for when dc is older?

sammyleh Mon 08-Oct-12 19:59:09

AThingInYourLife I know! if only eh?

Oh thanks so much for your replies... so nice and reassuring that I'm not the only one to have a nesting partner. I think maybe I should cut him some slack and leave him to it. Like you say, there's going to be more to focus on in few weeks. Nod and smile, nod and smile x

Orenishii Mon 08-Oct-12 20:11:58

I'm 38 weeks - 39 tomorrow - and for the past month, DH has been obsessing about vacuum cleaners. His Dyson is about ten years old, and DH keeps going on about how vacuuming is no longer as satisfying as it was. He came home about a month ago and said: I've seen an amazing steam vacuum cleaner, it can do EVERYthing, this is my nesting.

Since then he's emailed me links comparing Vaxs, Dysons, talking about the merits of Henrys. This is the person who, also about a month ago, said having the carpets cleaned was a waste of money hmm

Displacement activity and new dads - go together like horses/carriages/love/marriage etc grin

AThingInYourLife Mon 08-Oct-12 20:25:35

"DH keeps going on about how vacuuming is no longer as satisfying as it was."

grin

I am roaring with laughter!

I had forgotten this, but my DH became obsessed with the pram (which he picked).

By the end he was online with other Dads-to-be talking about ways to pimp the pram to make it better grin

If it's in any way reassuring, his practicality and obsession with doing stuff all the time makes him a brilliant Dad once they arrive (DD3 is 3 months old) smile

sammyleh Tue 09-Oct-12 08:56:25

That's had me giggling too... my DP LOVES the vacuuming too. Also taken to washing the clothes like some kind of house fairy. I absolutely love being able to put my feet up hehe! Now apparently we need a third shed for the baby's garden things and he's very excited about going out to buy sink and plughole unblocker this evening after having a shower last night and standing in his own shower water.

PurplePidjin funnily enough he's mentioned that he wants to restore an old bike, he did this after a huge trip to the tip where he also decided the house was full of rubbish and needed emptying. I may just go and get him one smile

Suddenly this is all making perfect, crystal clear sense.

Drizzleit Tue 09-Oct-12 09:24:04

DP was the same when I got near my due date, I think he didn't want to tell me he was nervous and it came out in constant twittering about unimportant stuff. It was annoying at the time but now it seems sweet how hard he was trying to keep me calm when he must have been as anxious as I was!

BeadingMarvelous Wed 10-Oct-12 14:14:28

My DH's reaction to our impending new arrival was to put shelves up everywhere! Each week we had a new shelfsmile

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