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to be totally smug at this

(33 Posts)
lola88 Mon 08-Oct-12 09:30:12

My friend has always been very smug aboout how good her baby is in all honesty her baby is an angel she sleeps very rarely crys and will just sit happily entertaining herself, my own little monster is the oposite he is a terrible sleeper screams his head off if he doesn't get his own way and wants to be played with constantly. She loves to point out how her DD is just very ahead of herself and naturally 'good' also how DS just isn't good at things, and my favourite how she couldn't cope with such a moany baby as DS (she actually said that). She also likes to tell me how i should try to teach DS how to do things then he will come on as fast as her DD, i just let him go at his own pace i don't worry about what he's doing much.

Now however DS has 'beat' her DD on lots of things sitting up, clapping hands, rolling, my friend was very disappointed in this but now DS is crawling, pulling himself up and starting to climb she's suddenly started saying 'oh i'm not worried every baby is different she'll do it in her own time' (my usual line) so a total turn around. DS is not specially advanced he is doing things when he should just turned 8 months so is pretty much on track her DD is on track too just now as quickly as DS, I think it's a lot to do with their personallitys DS is a get up and go type and her DD is a very chilled out laid back type.

Now WIBU to be totally smug and boasty in revenge? Sorry this is a bit all over the place typing as DS wrecks the house!

NorksAreMessy Mon 08-Oct-12 09:33:18

Revenge is never kind.
Why would you not be kind?

GoSakuramachi Mon 08-Oct-12 09:35:56

are you both 12?

Tweasels Mon 08-Oct-12 09:36:15

You and your friend need to get a life. She sounds a nightmare and now you sound as bad as her.

pictish Mon 08-Oct-12 09:36:32


I totally agree with you, and I'd be all ha-ha-in-your-face-matey about it, but only in my head.
I might allow myself a leeeetle smirk in her company, but just one or two.

She is a bollocks. These competitive baby smuggards are dreadful.Thank God I never had any close dealings with any. The tots group had one and I used to fork the vs at her when no-one was looking.

However, it is far more important to maintain the higher ground and not turn into that person too.

Always be gracious. And think 'eat that Supermum!' under your breath when your fantastic son shows of yet more of his wonderousness in her company.

FrustratedSycamorePants Mon 08-Oct-12 09:37:01

You hated it bring done to you, why would you do it back? Yabu

plutocrap Mon 08-Oct-12 09:37:12

Don't be smug and boasty about your DC but be direct next time she takes credit for somehing that's nothing to do with her (or her child).

throckenholt Mon 08-Oct-12 09:38:51

beaing boasty about achievements of your kids that you have very little control over is pointless. She has been irritating you by doing it for months. I can see the temptation to retaliate - but really try and rise above it. It just comes across as annoying ignorance and makes people want to avoid you (I presume you have felt at times that you would rather not spend time with her telling you how much better her baby is than yours ?).

Wean yourself away from the temptation of one upmanship - otherwise it will dominate your life when they get to school.

MrsHardigan Mon 08-Oct-12 09:39:46

Yes, using your children to one-up each other is a totally mature and nice way to behave. Who needs enemies with friends like you?

diddl Mon 08-Oct-12 09:39:59

Why would you?confused

It´s something I always hated tbh.

My pfb was prem & didn´t sit-with support until a year.

I was glad to have him at all

honeytea Mon 08-Oct-12 09:40:57

YANBU to feel smug but YWBU to boast, your friend will notice the difference anyway so no point in highlighting it, you will just make yourself look as childish and petty as her.

My mum believes that you either have a hard baby/tiddler or a hard teenager so if your friend keeps on about how she couldn't cope with a moany baby just say well no one gets it easy the entire way through maybe your baby will be a nightmare teen.

RightsaidFreud Mon 08-Oct-12 09:42:36

It's things like this that make me dread having children at the same time as my friends. Why does everything these days have to be a competition? Don't you have better things to do?

EasilyBored Mon 08-Oct-12 09:42:54

Parenting is not a competition. If you think you're 'winning', everyone else thinks you're a twat.

TittyWhistles Mon 08-Oct-12 09:42:55

pictish "She is a bollocks" - best insult of the day award!

You don't need to be smuggypants lola but its ok. The best comeback is to be very very kind to your friend, perhaps speak slowly to her and her dd for a bit grin

RollerCola Mon 08-Oct-12 09:46:23

FFS this is what I HATE about parenting, the relentless competition. Yes YABU to feel smug, it's types like you and your friend that make parenting so hard for the rest of us.

lola88 Mon 08-Oct-12 09:47:18

I've not said anything at all to her just done my usual and point out all the things her DD is good at and she's still plenty of time to do everything... but god it's tempting to be smug

TM08 Mon 08-Oct-12 09:48:29

No! Don't stoop so low.

I know an annoying woman from school that does this every day on the school run. She boasts her daughter was placed in the composite class because she's smarter than mine, she claims her daughter was given a number pack in her homework folder because her teacher thinks she's more capable than some people (turns out my daughter's teacher had just forgot to put the numbers in dd's folder, so we got them the next week instead), she goes on and on about how many parties her daughter gets invited to etc etc. Makes me feel quite crappy because dd is almost a year younger than hers, has ASD so finds certain things tricky.

So i have been over the moon when, for the past three Fridays, my daughter came rushing out of school with Stars of the Week (her group got the most points for good behaviour) and last week got a certificate for Maths and Language - third best in the infant dept!

Cue the boasty mum coming over this morning ranting about how unfair the certificates are, and thinking it's fixed. According to her, the three winners must be children/relatives of the parent council panel or PTA. She demanded to know if I knew who had got them, so i said quite calmly "Yes, my daughter was given the Silver one", and she was fuming!

It felt good because i didn't boast as such, i just answered her question.

Please don't end up like this woman!

snickers251 Mon 08-Oct-12 10:04:46

I used to have a bil in law like that, everything between our babies was a competition despite his baby being a few months older!

Then my sil explained he had several brothers who were all very competitive and that was why he was like that. So we would all just smile, nod and think he was a twat bit never say anything.

Cue a couple of years later and their dd is not talking very much and my ds is a chatterbox and now he doesn't boast and we all respect (and like) him much much more.

Never rise to it!

PickledFanjoCat Mon 08-Oct-12 10:06:32

What about baby racing? You could build runs in your garden and instead of chasing a rabbit you could use a rusk.

Moominsarescary Mon 08-Oct-12 10:17:33

My friends dd is 8 weeks older than my ds, hers can count to 10 mine has just learnt to pick his nose. Ds 19 months is quite far behind her dd, however we both have older teenage dc's so know it doesn't mean anything.

pictish Mon 08-Oct-12 10:19:09

fanjo grin

QuintessentialShadows Mon 08-Oct-12 10:23:26

Dont stoop as low as your friend.

Of course your baby is miles ahead, he has been so keen to explore, so impatient, not satisfied with just being a baby sitting still exploring what has been put ahead of him....


But dont you dare tell your friend that.

Just stop comparing, and stop pointing out differences.

krystianah Mon 08-Oct-12 10:28:35

I don't think YABU to feel smug, but I don't reckon you should verbalise it. Rise above the urge. I was super-smug as my newborn DS had tons of thick black hair, unlike the little baldies in the NCT group. Then it all fell out at the back and he was left with a hairband style ribbon around his head. Karma! (It's now lovely again).

fruityoatybar Mon 08-Oct-12 10:31:53

I thought olympic season was over? Motherhood is not a bloody competition. YABU.

Tigresswoods Mon 08-Oct-12 10:34:48

Leave it! Tempting though it can be. We've all met "that" mum.

My dad grew up close in age to his perfect cousin, through the years it was all "Jennifer's so good, Jennifer's doing so well at school, Jennifer's this & that..." Until one day, "Jennifer's pregnant!" And unmarried... In the 60's. how my nan laughed (in private)

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