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AIBU to be really upset / pee'ed off with child minder...

(12 Posts)
beautifuldreamer Sun 07-Oct-12 22:40:36

My 3 yr old started with a new CM in Sept, she has been in nursery previously and now does half a week at preschool and half with CM.
To begin with, she really enjoyed going but for the past two weeks she has been crying when I drop her off and 'naughty' apparently for CM whilst there.
I have been trying to get to the bottom of why she's not happy there and tonight while she was in the bath I asked her why she doesn't like it and she said that the CM shouted at her for waking another child up. I asked dd why she woke the other child up and she said she was crying because she wanted me.
I am pissed off/upset because the CM shouted at her for being upset - surely she knew this wouldn't help. There are other things I feel uncomfortable about as well - CM tells me how 'naughty' other children have been whilst there - breaking confidentiality - and discusses how bad my dd has been for her in front of other parents at my other daughters school.
My dd is not a 'naughty' child, she has her moments but she is only 3 sad

Should I persevere and see how it goes or should I give her notice (which is how I'm feeling at the mo) ??

DoMeDon Sun 07-Oct-12 22:42:34

Notice - I would be unhappy about shouting and confidentiality- not for me.

LilyCocoplatt Sun 07-Oct-12 22:43:35

I would find another childminder and give her notice, she sounds really unprofessional to be discussing her mindees in the way she does with people who don't need to know the details of their behaviour.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 07-Oct-12 22:46:03

I wouldn't want to leave my child in the care of someone like that. Listen to your dd, if she is consistently telling you she is unhappy there, then move her.

gordyslovesheep Sun 07-Oct-12 22:46:52

no I don't think you are bu - I would be finding an alternative x

Viviennemary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:49:51

No YANBU. It doesn't sound as if this is going to work. You aren't happy and your DD isn't happy. I think you should make other arrangements. If she liked the nursery couldn't she go back there.

MrsDimples Sun 07-Oct-12 22:51:28

I see a few child minders regularly at toddler groups / play sessions - I am a SAHM - I know the CM's I would happily let look after my DD and the ones I wouldn't.

This sounds like one I wouldn't sad

GhostofMammaTJ Sun 07-Oct-12 22:52:25

I am fairly lax and easy going but I would be giving notice. She doesn't sound like she likes children very much tbh.

Goldmandra Sun 07-Oct-12 22:52:34

I am a childminder.

This person is behaving at best unprofessionally angry

Give her notice and explain why.

Find a different childminder or nursery that feels right for your DD.

beautifuldreamer Sun 07-Oct-12 23:11:37

thanks for all the replies - I will definitely be giving notice now, just wanted to check I wasn't being over sensitive...

steppemum Sun 07-Oct-12 23:17:25

she should not be referring to you child or any child as naughty to other parents at school. This is very poor. If a child is naughty then you deal with it, and move on, and encourage good behaviour. I would not want my dc with this cm

wineandroses Sun 07-Oct-12 23:40:21

Definitely look for another CM (or nursery?). Your child and your own instinct are telling you what you need to know.

We had a CM for our DD and she became increasingly unhappy and clingy at drop-off time but couldn't say why (normally very happy child, eager to be with other children). We gave notice (CM was not happy, so we took DD out immediately and paid up to end of the month). We found another CM who DD loved and was very happy to go to. DD eventually told us that she was told off every day, told she was a naughty disobedient girl and shouted at (this is a very compliant child btw), if she cried then she was shouted at even more. Made me furious. We don't shout at DD, we don't call her naughty (naughty behaviour perhaps, rarely, but not naughty girl) and CM knew this. I am so glad we listened to her and moved her very early on. CM was very plausible and charming. I think she knew DD wouldn't tell us exactly what was going on, and with hindsight I really don't think that CM really liked other people's kids; she saw childminding as a way of supporting herself whilst at home with her own kids, but she didn't like them.

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