I'm not BU but have no idea what to do about this(32 Posts)
More of a what would you do.
There's a mum at ds's school that I knew when I was at school, completely random how her kid ended up at the same school as my kid since it's a completely different town!
Anyway, she's kind of clung on to me a bit. We didn't really get on at school but I thought, it's been 8 years, we both would have grown up etc. So we walk up to the school together and back together because she lives 5 mins away from me (down one long road) and I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with this walk.
She's very aggressive towards other people, if someone even brushes past her she starts effing and blinding at them, all I can do is kind of mutter 'I'm so so sorry' when she turns around. I'm not into confrontations at all, I'm quite a shy person and I hate arguing. The other day she decided to get the bus back from school and I said I'd walk so I crossed the road and there were 3 nuns walking towards her and one of them must have brushed past her or something because the next thing I hear is her shouting 'Oh EXCUSE ME, FUCKING RUDE!' She shouted at the nuns!!
She's been banned from the local tesco for being racist towards the cashier. She goes on these long racist rants and looks at me expecting me to agree with her. I do say that I don't agree with her but it doesn't stop her going on these rants.
She shouts at other mums in the playground too. It's embarrassing!
I cant seem to get away from her, as I said we live on the same road and there's no other route home from the school.
Sorry for the long post but I'm really not sure how I can go about this?
Sorry Ruby, you will not be able to avoid this woman, and you always be looking over your shoulder if you take this route. Someone told you to "grow a pair" which was a colloquial expresssion, but basically if you want her to stop following you about then you will need to tell her. Maybe give her reasons why you do not want to be friends with her. Do not feel sorry for her. You're main priorities are yourself and your children.
She sounds scary and the kind of person who doesnt take hints. Tell her in a crowded place ala Jerry McGuire.
I do feel sorry for her children though, can social services not take them away?
Id also say - dont lie to her. Dont play games. Just tell her the truth of why you dont want to be friends with her. Maybe she will try to change if she values your friendship. That aside, dump her like you would dump an abusive boyfriend.
You could tell her that your cousin is married to someone from the ethnic background that she racist about so you find her opinions hurtful. This will have a possible couple of different reactions. Either of them will be an improvement
I had a friend like this from school. I realised how horrid and aggresive she was and tried to cut her off. She arrived at my house and started kicking my front door !! I later agreed to meet her at a coffee shop to talk to her. I told her that she was rude, aggressive,rasict etc and I couldn't be friends with someone like that. She was very deffensive,then when I wouldn't back down,she cried. Then when I still wouldn't back down,she became verbally agressive,and I said "My point entirely. When I have gone, just play that coversation back to yourself and see whether you think you sound like a nice person,bye bye" drew back my chair and left. She sat there like this
You really need to spell it out to this woman. She is dominating you because she knows you will not stand up for yourself.
I am not criticising you, I used to be a walkover too. But however scary it is, you need to challenge her behaviour. She will probably be so shocked that she won't say or do anything at all.
Apart from anything else, yes, the other mums will be wary of becoming friends with you if they think you are ffriends with her...I would!
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