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To want my mum to stop giving him chances?! Long,...

(2 Posts)
er1507 Sun 07-Oct-12 20:40:39

My mum and stepdad met about 14yrs ago (I'm 25) and have produced my db2. long story short, dsd is an alcoholic and hid it well from my mum for a while, as I got older I realised. He has put our family through a world of pain over the years. We have never got on, partly due to his addiction, partly due to him being a bit if a twat anyway. He was always verbally/emotionally abusive towards me and db1&2 as well as my mum. With everything that happened it put a major strain on my and dm relationship and we lost the bond we had. He did stop drinkjng for a while after being admited to hospital and the docs telling him to stop drinking or die. this didnt last too long though and eventually My dm decided enough was enough and split with him just after last Xmas. (Yippee)

Fast forward now and he's slowly become back on the scene this last week or so and I'm really infuriated!!
She moved house to get away from him a month ago cos when he moved out he got a place 6 doors down and he began drinking heavily again, he didn't bother with db2 which he got depressed by this caused all sort I issues (he has Asperger's syndrome) when my dm moved the change in her and my db's was great, they were so much happier and all the issues with db2 stopped. Now stepdad decidedly to take him out 2 weekends in a row and give db1 money for his 21st and dm is being sucked in!

AIBU and selfish for wanting her to tell him to do one? I don't want her to be alone and unhappy but I know she deserves so much more than what he can give her. I guess I'm looking for help to rationalise my thinking and get some perspective....thanks for reading

Helpyourself Mon 08-Oct-12 08:29:08

You're not being selfish. Can you read 'codependent no more' and investigate al anon? You can't stop you sd drinking, neither can your mum, but you can pave the way for her.

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