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To think Mumsnet has changed me?? (or Mumsnet vs The Real World)

(329 Posts)
Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 07:59:56

Mumsnet has changed my thoughts and attitudes in the four years I've been prowling these 'ere boards.

I have a big group of friends in RL and a lively, jokey social life blah de blah but my hackles get raised so much more quickly now. My attitude and knowledge about feminism, porn, domestic abuse, is much more evolved than it was pre Mumsnet (I didn't really think about these things to be honest). Now I speak up and challenge dodgy views - (hopefully) in a good natured/bantery way.

BUT it's weird when you get a RL vs Mumsnet jolt! When a group of intelligent, fab real life women talk dismissively about things that people would go nuts about on here. It's like a parallel universe in some ways. So sometimes I think it's made me go slightly insania.

Anyone else remotely know what I mean?!

BertieBotts Sun 07-Oct-12 19:59:56

There is a bit of a "MN bubble" effect, especially on certain boards.

It's nice but can be a bit of a shock when you come across a thread on the subject in a different section or different website or a conversation in RL!

SheilaWheeler Sun 07-Oct-12 20:00:48

I used 'precious first born' in conversation at the local toddler group, thinking everyone uses it. It seems they don't!

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:02:50

I do think on mn people have a more fierce and/or virtuous stance
I know in rl the same arguments don't rage. less hysteria about mode of feeding
and I don't think folk would be so quick to squawk leave the bastard in rl

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 20:03:27

Was just in the kitchen making a brew and thought that MN is a bit like a dinner party every night. With more interesting guests and varying opinions, of course wink. Plus no need to wash up afterwards.
Yes, I need to get out more.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:17:05

Yes I know Insania is a Peter Andre song and I put it in my OP as I AM HIS BIGGEST FAN <kills thread>

And errr ok scottishmummy, we get it. You think everyone talks shit on here and MN means sod all to you. Which is pretty much your usual stance on any thread.

I think everyone agrees people are more direct, blunt and opinionated on here than they are in RL - that's obvious isn't it? It's t'interweb and it's anonymous.

But that doesn't mean that it hasn't genuinely changed people's views or educated them in important issues such as DV. I know I have learned a lot and I know I am now far more aware and am definitely far more vocal where I see or hear dodgy views.

It also doesn't mean some people view this as a supportive community. And if you read some moving posts on here - it's literally changed some people's lives.

PacificDogwood Sun 07-Oct-12 20:17:24

Having been on here has changed me, without at doubt.
I feel more informded about lots of topics, as diverse as good bra fitting and DV.
MN and certain posters without a doubt 'rescued' DS3's and my BF relationship grin.

I don't understand why such sensible shortcuts such as SIL etc are not available to me in RL <harumph>.

However, much as MN deserved credit, advancing middle-age has certainly also contributed in making me more feminist/socialist and less accepting of bullshit.

Yy re interesting dinner party without the washing up - and without the need to look presentable...

whathasschooldonetomybaby Sun 07-Oct-12 20:19:48

mumsnet has been a friend ,soulmate and everything for me right from my pregnancy doubts to fears when DS1 started reception .. i used to search threads which echoed my problems and offered solutions by well experienced /not so experienced wonderful ladies ..this has been a huge help due to the fact that I moved to UK recently and everything (nhs/school system )was new to me ..and with no real friends and family to turn too mumsnet has been a grt support ..thank you again wonderful ladies ...just for being there without even knowing it ..

PacificDogwood Sun 07-Oct-12 20:20:01

I use PFB all the time blush.

I sure as hell would not say 'LTB' on the strength of 5 sentences in RL, nor would I on here, but I would not hesitate to suggest that a long, hard look at the relationship might be in order, in RL or here.

Anyone else recommend MN to random people, thereby completely outing themselves as a viper??

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:21:27

youre touchy op was I supposed to fawn over your post?
lol at the reprimand mn hasn't taught you online manners has it
someone disagrees, and well you live with it.not good form to do the yea whateva

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:22:12

No I never recommend or talk about it to any friends - my dh and dc know I'm a Mumsnetter but no-one else. That's because a) Daily Fail and other media make it sound like a hotbed of raging Boden-wearing breast feeding harpies and b) I don't want any of my friends or family on here!

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:23:10


ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 20:26:24

I have a RL friend who told me that MN was full of mad women who had no friends and just wanted to say horrid things to each other. She said this knowing I use it, and then said "but I suppose if you have no one else to talk to you use whatever support you can get". I am a single mum, it's not that I have no friends BTW.

With RL friends like these... wink

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:28:14

I think the name Mumsnet is offputting tbh. It sounds, well, mumsy.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:30:10

op if you're going to paraphrase me,get it right.don't invent to suit your post
where have I said folk talk shite?um nowhere.I said it's like a mag I dip in/out of
no mn hasn't significantly changed me,or shaped opinions.and that doesn't diminish my experience or pov in anyway

Viperidae Sun 07-Oct-12 20:31:37

I agree OP. I have been fortunate enough to lead a very uneventful life with enough money to get by on and MN has broadened my horizons dramatically. I am now shocked at opinions expressed by RL friends about benefits, sexuality, relationships, etc and am do surprise them a different point of view at times.

Some friends know I am on here but I never recommend it to anyone and namechange if I feel there is a chance of being spotted.

Himalaya Sun 07-Oct-12 20:32:06

I'm much less productive.

aufaniae Sun 07-Oct-12 20:34:28

Ah, but that says more about narrow-minded people than us.

We really are mums (well lots of us are anyway!) not someone's idea of what mums are like IYSWIM.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:34:38

Pacific - yes a dinner party with no washing up, but equally one with no wine <opens wine>

YouMayLogOut Sun 07-Oct-12 20:35:58

I'm exactly the same as before.


Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:36:04

aufaniae - I agree but I do think some people think it's a site only for mums (which of course it's not) and mums that only talk about being mums. And parenting issues.

PacificDogwood Sun 07-Oct-12 20:36:26

I have at times idly wondered about another name, but nought sprang to mind... 'Parentsnet' is just clumsy and it is not just for parents; see Gransnet and all the CMs/nannis on here.

Surely MN HQ will have thought about this too and will have decided to protect their 'brand', I expect.

My DH came this close to post something last night - winewinewine had been taking though, so I am not sure that counts hmmgrin

iloveberries Sun 07-Oct-12 20:36:38

MN has made me realise:
* not everyone conceives just by sniffing their partners pants (a phrase nicked off another mumsnetter)....( Just my RL friends.)
* it's ok to only have people in your life who make you feel good. Some relationships aren't worth working at.
* women are friggin awesome.
* my dh is bloody amazing.
* I was a right twat when I first started mumsnetting. Limited compassion and very ignorant. I try every day to be better!

whistlestopcafe Sun 07-Oct-12 20:43:42

I know absolutely what you mean!

I'm definitely more opinionated and far less tolerant. That's not great really is it? grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Sun 07-Oct-12 20:47:12

Ooh, I wish I'd bought that sloe gin I was tempted by in Sainsbos the other day ... pour us a wine would you Proud
YY to "women are friggin awesome" berries smile

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:49:35

I've got loads of booze in as had a houseful of pissheads people round today. Help yourself Juggling wine

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