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To think Mumsnet has changed me?? (or Mumsnet vs The Real World)

(329 Posts)
Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 07:59:56

Mumsnet has changed my thoughts and attitudes in the four years I've been prowling these 'ere boards.

I have a big group of friends in RL and a lively, jokey social life blah de blah but my hackles get raised so much more quickly now. My attitude and knowledge about feminism, porn, domestic abuse, is much more evolved than it was pre Mumsnet (I didn't really think about these things to be honest). Now I speak up and challenge dodgy views - (hopefully) in a good natured/bantery way.

BUT it's weird when you get a RL vs Mumsnet jolt! When a group of intelligent, fab real life women talk dismissively about things that people would go nuts about on here. It's like a parallel universe in some ways. So sometimes I think it's made me go slightly insania.

Anyone else remotely know what I mean?!

CouthyMowWearingOrange Sun 07-Oct-12 11:20:16

MN has opened my eyes massively. I didn't even SEE that the partner I had when I first joined MN was an abusive rapist. He was though.

MN gave me my sense of self confidence that I didn't have to allow men to abuse me, physically, sexually or emotionally.

It has enabled me to extricate myself from two abusive relationships, that first one and a second EA one.

I now have overcome the dreadful childhood I had, and am able to have boundaries on what is acceptable in a relationship.

I am a much stronger person because of MN.

Before I joined MN, I had no thoughts on politics, didn't vote, was completely uninformed. Now I have educated myself, both through MN and outside MN, and am a much more knowledgable person because of it. I also know that I am a raging Lefty. Something that surprised me, given that my upbringing was with a staunchly Tory voting family.

MN has helped me to cope with my health issues, I find MN is the family support network that I didn't have (toxic family) before I joined, and I am much better able to cope because of that.

I am aware of feminism, which I just wasn't before I joined.

YouOldSlag Sun 07-Oct-12 11:30:56

Couthy, what a lovely post. That's really inspiring.

50smellsofshite Sun 07-Oct-12 11:35:17

Soviets = society shock that does change the meaning of the sentence somewhat!

mixedpeel Sun 07-Oct-12 11:53:00

that was a brilliant autopredict, 50smells smile

FangsForBloodyNothing Sun 07-Oct-12 12:51:47

Very funny,*50smells*-just spat tea all over the bed here!For me,it has opened up a whole new world to me.Having accidentally found it through a link on special needs when I was searching the web for info after my sons unexpected diagnosis. I found so much support,help,information ,comfort from others going through the same.I found 'friends' that I think of often but know I will never meet.I no longer feel isolated in rl as I have my little online community to turn to any time of night or day.I am more rounded in my views and feel more confident in myself.I am no longer concerned with what others think of me-I do what I think is right for me and my family.
It is the one good thing that came out of my lovely son being diagnosed with

Lueji Sun 07-Oct-12 13:18:05

You are SO not being unreasonable" (the matter of reasonableness or otherwise had never been raised) and then "oh, BUNFIGHT!"

That's like a secret handshake. If someone else knows what you are talking about, then you know.

AllThatGlistens Sun 07-Oct-12 13:19:53

I have to reiterate almost everything fangs just said. I've lurked here for a loooong time now, initially finding the site after searching for support groups re my DS1's autism diagnosis and have been hooked ever since!

MN makes me laugh, cry, rant out loud (to the amusement of my children) and inspires me. My DH will often roll his eyes and crack a joke about having to prise the iPad off me to get me off Mumsnet, but in the same breath can never resist asking me what the latest 'gossip' is!

I luffs this place.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 13:29:06

has mn changed me?no.why would it
it's a discursive forum online.words on a screen and all that
I enjoy dipping in/out like a face magazine but no not had a significant impact

Lueji Sun 07-Oct-12 13:34:47

Not sure how much MN has changed me.
I was mostly in another forum (not NM) until recently and have learnt a lot about bf, choices for birth and so on. So that I'll happily challenge anyone with strong views.
As in: "the doctors won't let you go past 42 weeks" Erm, what are they going to do, strap you to the bed and extract the child by force???

And I often use MN as a source of statistical data. grin

Plus, through MN I got into OD. smile

More seriously, I had already left twat ex, but feel more able to help a friend married to a classic narsicist.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Oct-12 13:36:16

I think it's ironic that such a judgey forum has made so many posters less judgey grin

I love MN for all its different views - crazy or otherwise.

It's definitely opened my eyes and changed my views on a few things.

However, in RL I thankfully don't see so many MIL haters and Princessy DILs...which again is a good thing considering I have 3 boys.

If I thought all DILs were the way many are portrayed on here, I think I'd run a mile when my DS's tell me they're getting married grin

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 13:38:35

like all things one cannot corroborate I don't completely believe online posts
in essence trust nae fucker
I think on mn people are more yo yo sista and leave the bastard than they'd be in rl

bonzo77 Sun 07-Oct-12 13:48:39

Yanbu. It's opened my eyes, broadened my horizons and supported me through some things. Oh, and made me laugh till I cried.

chickensaresafehere Sun 07-Oct-12 13:52:23

MN has definitely changed my views on many things.
I joined over 3 years ago now,when I was starting out on the long,dark road that is,having a child with SN.I was welcomed with open arms&offered support&understanding,which was invaluable,both then&now.I still have much to learn but hope to pass on what I can to others just starting out on that road.
I have been educated on feminism in a way I never thought I would,it has definitely made me a stronger woman.Which will help me to raise my girls in a better way,to be more equipped to deal with the world today.
I've laughed,cried & cringed lots over the past few years.
I love MN&am proud to be heregrin

chickensaresafehere Sun 07-Oct-12 13:57:04

I also love the totally light-heartedness mixed with the utter seriousness of most of the posts on 'active'.
You never know what's going to pop up!!

comedycentral Sun 07-Oct-12 13:58:36

It has changed my feelings on so many things. I can't give all the credit to MN though as I used to be a member on another forum too.

Oooh you have made 'discussion of the day' brew grin

Toughasoldboots Sun 07-Oct-12 14:02:23

The SN topic has been such a support to me at times, also had such kind PMs about my MS diagnosis, it touched me beyond words.
I wouldn't say it has changed me though, I always take most things with a big pinch of salt on here, I am a bit less of a strident version of Scottishmunmy I think. Words on a screen.

JugsMcGee Sun 07-Oct-12 14:13:18

I often think "what would they say on AIBU?" and then I know whether I'm BU or
not grin

I am far less judgy now.

Thumbwitch Sun 07-Oct-12 14:37:02

Another one who has changed in the 4+ years I've been on here. I'm far more careful about how I post now, less confrontational (mostly) and have learnt an awful lot about the challenges that other people face in life. It's definitely widened my experience!
But also has been invaluable in terms of offering help and advice, support and comfort when needed.

I've also come across some quite staggering views on here, that make me want to scream! But those are generally in a minority, thankfully!

And yes, it has filtered out into RL too - I am less judgemental about other parents in some situations (and far more in others) - I was always prepared to help out people in need but now perhaps I recognise they're in need a little more often!

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 07-Oct-12 15:46:19

Out of interest, what is the problem with laminate flooring? We have it throughout, in fact worse still we have lino that looks like laminate in two rooms! Allergies in the family you see sad

TrickyBiscuits Sun 07-Oct-12 16:12:54

I no longer make idle chit-chat to pregnant women.


ChangingWoman Sun 07-Oct-12 16:13:26

I wouldn't say it's fundamentally changed me as a person but has had a positive effect.

I think MN has made me more confident about voicing my opinions IRL about gender equality, domestic violence, rape and other issues because I know there are others out there who think the same way as me.

It has also educated me about positive and negative relationships and family dynamics.

Smithson6 Sun 07-Oct-12 16:16:49

sorry- total opposite experience here. I have been pretty shocked at what I have read on here - particularly regarding many posters' attitudes towards authorities and the seeming need to always be "reporting"other people for various perceived slights. Totally bonkers and quite unnerving. Very strange for adults to have such faith in authority figures and to have such an uncritical view of the world IMO.

Herrena Sun 07-Oct-12 16:34:21

I once deliberately did a 3-point turn in a narrow, quiet road rather than using someone's driveway, because I realise how that would drive me nuts if it was my driveway and that they might also have kids around. Wouldn't have occured to me before!

I use 'WTAF' and 'AIBU' in general conversation and gaze for slightly longer than necessary at children glugging fruit shoots I'm wondering what's so awful about them TBH!

It has even changed DH's life - when we bicker he always says 'Mumsnet it and see if I'm right!!' Then when I am proved correct, I claims I didn't phrase the OP properly hmm

It's also an excellent source of advice on just about everything wink

JugglingWithPossibilities Sun 07-Oct-12 16:36:40

I'm much more aware of many issues than I was pre- Mumsnet, and am grateful to all for the education as well as the support and company.

I now have the correct opinion on everything, and actually now run the country through our mighty influence grin from my kitchen table

Wha, Ha, Ha grin

< cackles in sinister way >

blondieminx Sun 07-Oct-12 17:05:54

MN has changed me too.

It's what made becoming a mum happen for me - a poster suggested a possible cause of our difficulty in TTC as my circs were near identical to those experienced by her sister. She kindly posted, I went to the docs and had tests and subsequently medication and we now have DD smile

My years as a MNer have given me laughs and support for all kinds of random issues and while I lurk more than I post, I luffs it here! grin

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