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To think DS needs more supervision?

(6 Posts)
midori1999 Sat 06-Oct-12 22:20:08

DS1 is 16. He decided to leave school after his GSCEs to go and do an apprenticeship with my exH, which will almost certainly lead to a good job where he can always find employment. ExH is not DS1's biological Dad, but has brought him up since a toddler and although DS1 knows his bio Dad, he calls exH Dad. As exH lives a couple of hours drive away, DS is living with him and exH's sister.

Obviously I appreciate hugely all exH has done for DS and generally we do get on well. This is a really good opportunity for DS.

However, DS has gone to visit some friends he went to school with in another part of the UK for the second weekend since he moved in with my exH this weekend and when I spoke to ex he has no details or number for where DS is staying and DS has done all the arranging himself. He is generally a sensible boy, but is prone to odd moments of stupidity/immaturity as 16 year olds are. I feel that ex should have at least confirmed with the friend's parents that it was OK for DS to stay there etc, ex agrees but is annoyed I have said anything.

It's also become clear that exH has assumed DS will be moving in as an adult in many ways, although DS only makes a small financial contribution to the household each week. DS does buy his own clothes etc DS mentioned to me that he cooks his own dinner each night and has been eating 'freezer stuff' and tins of food. I feel that exH should be 'parenting' him a bit more and ensuring proper meals etc.

I do appreciate DS is almost an adult and working etc, but he works 6 days a week most weeks and I do feel a bit sad that it seems exH expects him to suddenly grow up, but am I being over protective?

SamSmalaidh Sat 06-Oct-12 22:26:55

16, living away from home to do an apprenticeship - I'd treat him as an adult too.

AgentProvocateur Sat 06-Oct-12 22:33:36

I agree - if he's old enough to do an apprenticeship ( and join the army, get married etc etc) then he should be treated like an adult. I have a 16 year old, and I don't check with the parents of people he stays with. I also expect him to take his turn at making meals.

CouthyMowWearingOrange Sat 06-Oct-12 22:33:52

I had DD at 16. Do you think maybe you are slightly over-worrying?

WorraLiberty Sat 06-Oct-12 22:36:28

You are over worrying imo

But having said that, I'd like to know where he's staying for the night.

I take it he has a mobile phone anyway?

midori1999 Sat 06-Oct-12 22:40:10

I suppose I don't really see it as living away from home, as he is living with his 'Dad'. Maybe I am over worrying though, but I suppose maybe you never stop worrying about them and to me he just doesn't seem old enough to leave home. I never figured myself as the over protective type...

He does have a mobile phone, but he does have the annoying habit of not answering it if he doesn't want to speak to whoever is phoning.

I suppose part of the reason I am a little worried is that he is staying in Northern Ireland and we are a forces family, so are very aware of potential security issues there, although chances of anything adverse happening are small.

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