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To bring the puppy into our room to sleep?

(66 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Sat 06-Oct-12 10:31:44

Not on the bed. He did eventually, last night settle by my side of the bed, next to the radiator on the floor. If I brought his bed there he would settle there.

He settled there after me being up at 2am, 3-4am, and then again at 5am. I was at work yesterday lunch time and evening. I am at work again the same today. I am catching up on all the house work tomorrow because DH is injured or not, probably not

He has issues with being apart from me. I am the source of his fun, walks, games, training, food and affection. While DH is is alone the pup effectively shuts down because he knows there is little chance of any attention any how so he stays in his bed. When I am in all hell breaks loose.

He now stays calmly in his bed or settled on the sofa during the day, after two days of training. He knows he only gets interaction on my terms now so no longer mauls me continuously throughout the day. He still likes to be close to me.

DH did nothing for the pup last night despite having today and tomorrow off to sleep all day. He is saying I am not allowed to bring the puppy into our room so I can get some much needed sleep. He also will not help reinforce pup loving his bed while I am at work meaning any training I am doing with him is taking three times as long.

He is willing he says, to go and buy a crate because I have expressed interest in crate training the puppy. He thinks the pup will just automatically love being in the crate and will sleep soundly tonight in the dining room in his new crate with no training what so ever because Google told him puppies like crates bullshit, pup would howl the house and destroy the crate in minutes

AIBU to utterly discount DH's views on the basis that he is a twat and bring the dog into our room tonight anyway?

LST Sat 06-Oct-12 11:04:52

I am training him gold. And I'm sure in a few months years at this rate he'll be out of his crate. It took my mum 6months with her border terrier but 3 years with our staffy we had as a child.

And I do do it properly. He is never in there when we are in the house (except nighttime).

theodorakis Sat 06-Oct-12 11:05:04

as i said, people who abuse crates are just as bad as any other animal abuser. It's not rocket science

D0oinMeCleanin Sat 06-Oct-12 11:05:41

Theodorakis what would you suggest?

My way of doing it was going to be bring the pup and his bed into our room, by the radiator where he slept last night. Once the crate arrives put it up in the dining room, put his bed in it. Begin crate training - he already goes into Whippy's crate so the first step is already done. I will feed him in the crate, door locked, I will disappear a while. I will come back when he is silent, give him a treat and then open the crate etc.

The crate will move upstairs on an evening. Night by night it will move back downstairs slowly.

If you know of a better, kinder way, do enlighten me.

I am aware I am being short. I apologise. I am very tired and pissed off at the moment.

LST Sat 06-Oct-12 11:05:47

Theo - wow. Just wow! Are you any good with nutter 3mo collies? grin

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:07:25

Theodakaris - I weren't aware this was a competition? If you must know 12 altogether along with raising 13 puppies x 3 at consecutive times when dogs have come to me pregnant, and once breeding my own. With 2 x house rabbits, a cat and 2 ducks and 3 chickens.


thebody Sat 06-Oct-12 11:07:27

Our 2 cats, one old and other young sleep in our bed...

Yes I know but they are warm and purry and so what!!! The little one also wanders in the night to each if our 4 kids bedrooms and fusses them as well.

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:07:37

Oh and a bearded dragon named Hank

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:08:54

I wish I could own a rescue home!

Good luck OP, just do what you feel is best. You know your puppy, and try sort it out with your DP its not worth falling out over

thebody Sat 06-Oct-12 11:09:39

Sorry what's a crate?? As a child we always had dogs and they slept on our beds or in a basket.

All this sounds very clinical and serious.

theodorakis Sat 06-Oct-12 11:10:22

I only ever get last seasons fashion cast offs (currently in the ME). Current trends are the pitbull, pug and husky. Thank God the Dalmation season of 2007 has passed. Collies are not a breed that I have had a great deal of experience with but I do a lot of things with my intelligent puppies which works very well. "Hide and Dog" when they have to find their supper hidden in the garden, treat balls and learning words for treats. Without it they are just barmy.

LST Sat 06-Oct-12 11:10:42

D0oin - me personally? I would just see how it goes.. When the crate arrives I'd put it where you want it to go. Put dog in with a treat or a stuffed kong and go out for half an hour. When you get back give huge praises. I would also take the plunge at night and stuff the kong. Give it pup and leave. Make sure he has done his wees and poos and then you know any cries would be for attention.

That's how I would do it. And your doing a v good thing.

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:11:01

one of these

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:12:40

I had a pit bull, my stepdad took him from some gypsy lads who were training him to fight sad the poor poor thing came to us in a right state. We got him sorted though, most gentle dog in the world. Had a problem with urinating when he got over excited, bless.

LST Sat 06-Oct-12 11:13:22

Mine isn't like that at all. You can sit upright in mine and it's 4ft long!

Chandon Sat 06-Oct-12 11:14:40

MIl did that with her dog.

He is now a big dog with separation anxiety that has to be seen to be believed. if she comes to stay, the dog has to stay in her room.

Her husband now sleeps in the study.

In our house, she and the dog get the bedroom, and PIl sleeps on our sofa...

babybythesea Sat 06-Oct-12 11:16:25

My parents always had dogs that slept in their bedrooms with them, from the first night they could guarantee not to wet or mess the carpet.
Dad always maintained it made life easier, because when they stayed in hotels, or with other people, the dogs weren't left alone in a strange kitchen or in the car for a night, but were used to sleeping in with them so neither did they see it as a time to play just because the humans happened to be there.
My dog doesn't come upstairs. DH grew up on a farm where dogs were outside animals not pets so having her inside but downstairs was our compromise. But I don't really see the problem.

If your dog has had a difficult start then I think you need to do whatever he needs to get him settled. My friend had a dog for whom crates would have been a disaster. Also rehomed after a difficult first year, he associated being in a confined space with being left for long periods and would shake and cringe and generally become a mess. She never used a crate, and although he can still be a bit eccentric (still clearly a bit worried about the car and not fully trusting that they won't abandon him in there), he is, at 4, a million times better than he was. Sticking him in a crate on the assumption that other dogs liked them would have been a disaster. You know your dog - this stage was always going to be hard while he figured out that he's got a good, safe home with you.
If DH asked for the dog, then he really needs to step up a bit.

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:18:39

LST - see this is where people differ too, like some people say you need the smallest size possible for the dog so it doesn't have a 'poo corner'? A poo corner hahah

LST Sat 06-Oct-12 11:21:28

I like big cages. I don't like the little pokey ones.

babybythesea Sat 06-Oct-12 11:25:12

I don't think sleeping in the bedroom is the only cause of that, though, Chandon.

As I say, I grew up with dogs who slept in my parents room and we never experienced any separation anxiety.
The two dogs they have currently can choose - no-one else in the house most nights so the door is left open.
One mostly sleeps downstairs, unless I go to stay in which case she sleeps by my door - she has a crush on me!!
One mostly sleeps upstairs by my Dad. But not always.
If your MIL's dog has anxieties, I think there has to be more to it than just where he sleeps.

WorraLiberty Sat 06-Oct-12 11:25:34

I've always wondered, why they are called 'crates' instead of cages? confused

LST Sat 06-Oct-12 11:29:31

I always say cages. I've never understood 'crate'.

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:31:09

worra interesting point. Probably because of what the word 'cage' connotates. People would rather have a softer word that doesn't remind them if a caged animal

WorraLiberty Sat 06-Oct-12 11:33:54

That's what I think GoldShip

If people think it sounds mean to lock a dog in a cage, but it somehow sounds more acceptable to lock them in a crate...that sounds to me as though they don't really like the idea of what they're actually doing.

That ^^ made sense in my head when I typed it blush

theodorakis Sat 06-Oct-12 11:34:05

People who say little cages are stupid. Lots of dog owners are stupid, most are harmlessly stupid some less harmless.
I have met some pretty stupid parents as well in fairness, same thing, neglect, abuse or just plain mean.

Inviting dogs into the bedroom sometimes is one thing, we have an infestation at the moment. I think I am justified in not wanting them on my bed at the moment, what would I do if I didn't have a choice? They may be annoyed at being outed for a while but they are not anxious

GoldShip Sat 06-Oct-12 11:34:49

It made sense to me too worra grin

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