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To be hurt for being publicly judged by my own brother for going away without my DC (fb related, sorry)

(117 Posts)
MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:32:53

DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas to New York. This will probably be the last time we go away minus DC as we are TTC-ing after Xmas. and this was going to be our present to eachother and a last big holiday if you like, before, if we are lucky enough, DC3 comes along. our DC are 3 and 6 and are staying with my DPs in the Cotswolds, my DPs are more than happy to have them, so we will be spending the run up to xmas with the DC and also xmas eve, xmas day and some of boxing day.

Anyway, my brother has posted all over Facebook how "disgusting" and "selfish" we are "leaving the kids at christmas" and how he "can't believe mum and dad have agreed to it" and he thinks we should take them with us.
BTW, the DC have had 2 holidays already this year, this summer, we took them to Lanzarote and Wales.

He hasn't said ANY of this to my face, it has all been via public facebook rants for all our friends and family to see. Its as if he just wants to show me up. He is of course entitled to his opinion on it, but I feel he should tell me privately. He looks down on us anyway as we live in a HA house and are just ordinary, whereas he has a high flying job and a flashy car and nice apartment.

I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but we just don't want to take them on this occasion. And anyway, IMO a long flight followed by lots of walking around shops and sightseeing in the freezing cold NY winter, would not be much fun for them. or us

DB does not even have DC of his own and barely has anything to do with my DC, he is pretty uninterested in them tbh so why they sudden sanctimonious behaviour? confused

anyway I am hurt and just want to rant I guess., I am quite prepared to be told I am BU for going away sans DC but I really think my DBs behaviour is shitty and U.

Hesterton Fri 05-Oct-12 17:45:40

ooops undoubtedly

Numberlock Fri 05-Oct-12 17:51:04

Why though? Christmas is for kids, not new year, they wouldn't be staying up till midnight anyway and they won't even remember this in a year or so.

Is it the principle of holidays without kids or just cos its Christmas?

MadgeHarvery, I don't think that poster was bleating, just saying she wouldn't do it smile

ChaoticismyLife Fri 05-Oct-12 17:55:28


You should post 'DB are you really suggesting that my DC won't be safe or happy staying with their grandparents?'

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 17:56:03

I can see why you are going away for a few days, but tbh, I DO think you are being selfish going away over Christmas. You won't be there with your DC's on Christmas Day? I can't get my head around anybody doing that out of choice.

I HATE being away from my DC's every other Christmas - and it's not through choice so I can go on a jolly, it's because they are at their Dad's that year.

There are people like me who will be sitting there at Christmas in tears, missing their DC's, yet you are leaving your very young DC's through choice.

Surely there were other times in the year that you and your DP/DH could have gone for a dirty weekend, rather than a time like Christmas chuffing Day?

couthy, the op is giong after christmas

Numberlock Fri 05-Oct-12 17:58:07

Read the thread...

DublinMammy Fri 05-Oct-12 17:58:14

Your brother is a toolbag. Ignore him and have a lovely time. Good luck with TTC in the new year by the way, great idea to have a nice holiday together beforehand....

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 17:59:01

Ah. If you're there for Christmas with your DC's, and going away after, tell your bro to get over himself.

It IS easy to misread what you have written though!

Enjoy your trip. As long as you are there for Christmas, why does it matter if you are away for New Year's? Christmas is for DC's, New Year's is for adults, IMO.

CSIJanner Fri 05-Oct-12 18:01:44

CouthyMow - She is not going away until mid-boxing day.

goes away muttering about people who jump to conclusions but doesn't read the OP properly...

phlebas Fri 05-Oct-12 18:02:01

"DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas ... "

Not that easy to misread!

mantlepiece Fri 05-Oct-12 18:02:19

Did your DB plan to go to your parent's over the Christmas Holidays? That is the only reason I can think of for such silly behaviour on his part.

Have a great time and am sure the DC will too!

mumto2andnomore Fri 05-Oct-12 18:03:21

Sounds fab I'm jealous ! And your children will have a great time with grandparents I can't see the problem !

CSIJanner Fri 05-Oct-12 18:03:24

Sorry Couthy! Cross posted after your reply. Must now go chastise myself for jumping as well sad

Pagwatch Fri 05-Oct-12 18:06:42

He's being a twat. Just post 'don't be such a monumental twat' and then ignore him.

BlueSkySinking Fri 05-Oct-12 18:07:05

I'd post a comment 'har har, very funny, it's not like we are abandoning them alone in an poverty stricken orphanage on Xmas day. You do know it's only for three days AFTER Xmas and kids are really looking forward to having special grandparents time'

chandellina Fri 05-Oct-12 18:10:02

Yeah I'd go for a joke - "next time we'll just stick them in a cage with bread and water. "

Can't believe anyone would judge your decision, it sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

FishfingersAreOK Fri 05-Oct-12 18:11:58

What Pagwatch said.

CakeBump Fri 05-Oct-12 18:12:10

I don't think there's anything wrong in going away without your kids - they're not surgically attached to you fgs.

Your brother is probably jealous, and is being not only unreasonable but also extremely childish in choosing facebook to vent his anger.


YouOldSlag Fri 05-Oct-12 18:13:54

I'd like to say YABU but purely because I am incredibly jealous of you!

I always dismiss any parenting judgements form people who don't have kids.

Moominsarescary Fri 05-Oct-12 18:15:31

I can't see the problem, tell him to get a grip

CaroleService Fri 05-Oct-12 18:16:19

You would be extremely unreasonable to leave them with him grin - he is an arse of the first order.

monkeysbignuts Fri 05-Oct-12 18:17:02

I would never leave my kids to go away alone but each to their own and he should keep his beak out.

FayeKinitt Fri 05-Oct-12 18:17:32

What a twonk. Are the kids going to explode because you left them with their loving grandparents for a few days? No! Will it affect their A level results? No grin

If it helps OP, I'm going away for four days on holiday without my kids and without DH shock So I top trumps you on the selfish uncaring parent stakes!

queenofthepirates Fri 05-Oct-12 18:20:25

I can still remember the wonder week I had with my GP whilst my parents went on holiday sans kids-I was three and it was brilliant!

Having taken my DD to NY, it was exhausting, fab but not really a holiday. Enjoy yourselves and ask your parents if they take bookings please?

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