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To be hurt for being publicly judged by my own brother for going away without my DC (fb related, sorry)

(117 Posts)
MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:32:53

DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas to New York. This will probably be the last time we go away minus DC as we are TTC-ing after Xmas. and this was going to be our present to eachother and a last big holiday if you like, before, if we are lucky enough, DC3 comes along. our DC are 3 and 6 and are staying with my DPs in the Cotswolds, my DPs are more than happy to have them, so we will be spending the run up to xmas with the DC and also xmas eve, xmas day and some of boxing day.

Anyway, my brother has posted all over Facebook how "disgusting" and "selfish" we are "leaving the kids at christmas" and how he "can't believe mum and dad have agreed to it" and he thinks we should take them with us.
BTW, the DC have had 2 holidays already this year, this summer, we took them to Lanzarote and Wales.

He hasn't said ANY of this to my face, it has all been via public facebook rants for all our friends and family to see. Its as if he just wants to show me up. He is of course entitled to his opinion on it, but I feel he should tell me privately. He looks down on us anyway as we live in a HA house and are just ordinary, whereas he has a high flying job and a flashy car and nice apartment.

I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but we just don't want to take them on this occasion. And anyway, IMO a long flight followed by lots of walking around shops and sightseeing in the freezing cold NY winter, would not be much fun for them. or us

DB does not even have DC of his own and barely has anything to do with my DC, he is pretty uninterested in them tbh so why they sudden sanctimonious behaviour? confused

anyway I am hurt and just want to rant I guess., I am quite prepared to be told I am BU for going away sans DC but I really think my DBs behaviour is shitty and U.

SuperB0F Fri 05-Oct-12 17:34:27

Of course his behaviour is shitty. Tell him to go and boil his head, and enjoy your trip.

UsingAPsuedonym Fri 05-Oct-12 17:34:33

I can't imagine leaving my children over Christmas so probably agree with him. Completely wrong to plaster it all over facebook though!

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 17:34:54

Block him, he's a twat.

WelshMaenad Fri 05-Oct-12 17:36:15


It sounds heavenly. I have a 6 and 2 year old and they adore my parents, if happily leave them for s few days to enjoy a break with DH.

You have a lovely time.

LittleBairn Fri 05-Oct-12 17:36:26

Lol I could hav guessed before you mentioned it he has no kids. Ignore him.
I could understand if it was over Christmas eve or day but its not,plus they have had two family holidays this year. I bet they will have fantastic time with their grandparents.

whistlestopcafe Fri 05-Oct-12 17:36:45

The OP isn't going at Christmas, she said after Christmas.

Reply to his fb rant so you can put the record straight. Delete him from fb and remember that he is essentially an idiot.

WelshMaenad Fri 05-Oct-12 17:37:13

The trip is after Christmas, OP will spend Xmas with the DCs and her DPs.

Francagoestohollywood Fri 05-Oct-12 17:37:18

Your db is pathetic:
1st to think that parents who go on holiday sans children are selfish (rolls eyes)

2nd to rant on fb

Just hugely pathetic.

larks35 Fri 05-Oct-12 17:37:49

YANBU, your DB is an arse. Ignore. Does he have form for this sort of thing?
Enjoy your break, your DCs will be fine. Nowt wrong with a holiday sans kids once in a while IMO. Mind you that is only my opinion as I have yet to experience it! Mmmm, New York over New Year (pipe dream!!!)

Thingiebob Fri 05-Oct-12 17:38:15

But she's not leaving them over Christmas??

I would tear him a new one to be honest.

Enjoy your trip, it sounds fabulous.

i don't see a few days afyter Christmas as Christmas though. It's the boring time when nothing much happens. A change for all would be fantastic

tittytittyhanghang Fri 05-Oct-12 17:39:05

YANBU, your db is an idiot, and probably just jealous that he isn't going away on a nice holiday. UAP op is not leaving her children over xmas, she and dp are going away after xmas.

squeaver Fri 05-Oct-12 17:39:42

What an arse. You're not leaving your kids over Christmas. They will have a great time with their grandparents. And you're perfectly entitled to go away on your own without them.

Facebook is the devil's work, it really is.

I wouldn't go away and leave my DC on Christmas day, or even the run up to Christmas if I could help it (say the 23and 24). But the 27th or whateve, or over new year is no different from that point of view to any other day

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 05-Oct-12 17:40:26

Ooh, are you going to be there to see the ball drop on New Years Eve? I'd love to do that! We went at Christmas once, it was freezing but brilliant!

Your brother is a twat btw.

MainlyMaynie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:40:32

Extremely rude of him. Bizarre. I wouldn't leave my DS on boxing day though, even with grandparents he adores. But I wouldn't criticise anyone on FB for it, however much I judged inside my head!

MadgeHarvey Fri 05-Oct-12 17:41:37

From your OP -

I don't have to explain myself to anyone

That. Exactly.

To the poster who's bleating about the OP leaving her kids over Christmas - read the thread properly why don't ya?

Just go. Fantastic opportunity and your DC won't remember this in a few years time - it truly isn't a 'lifelong grudge' issue. Go. Have fun. And ignore your brother - he sounds like he has a whole load of issues!

Lizzylou Fri 05-Oct-12 17:43:23

He sounds a right Dick.
I would definitely call him on it, he sounds very immature and obviously totally without empathy for you as parents.
Perhaps publicly suggest, via Facebook that his neice/nephew would LOVE to spend the time in his swanky bachelor pad as he is such a caring Uncle???
Enjoy your break!

Numberlock Fri 05-Oct-12 17:43:38

Have a great time. I go away without kids and with friends a couple of times a year. Sets them a great example in my opinion.
I also take each of my 3 boys away individually once a year - what would he make of that ?!

Nagoo Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:33

Really really bad form from your brother.

I rarely agree with the OP on facebook threads, but I'm on your side here, he' being really rude, and I expect your parents would be a bit 'WTF?' as well.

weblette Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:55

Oh there's an idea lizzylou

OP none of his fecking business, have a fantastic time.

3monkeys3 Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:56

I think any ranting of this sort on Facebook is highly unreasonable. I can't fathom why people want their friends list (on which many people have virtual strangers) to see a family quarrel/relationship breakdown/whatever. Your brother is being horrid. YANBU to have a break without your dc.

Hesterton Fri 05-Oct-12 17:45:10

You are doing nothing wrong at all - how very dare he.

Your parents will enjoy having their DGC to themselves - he is a bit old to be jealous of having to share them with small and sweet things who are undoubtably cuter than he is.

I would HAHAHAHAHAHA at him and tell him he's a twat, and he should go away and have his own DC before he judges you.

But don't let him get to you.

lisaro Fri 05-Oct-12 17:45:22

I have children and would be pretty judgy if one of my family did this. However, I would not only not put it on facebook, I'd keep it to myself.

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