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AIBU?

to put my 7 year old back in nappies?

52 replies

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 12:22

She has an underactive bladder and is on 2 different medications, one of which is to stop her producing wee during the night. This worked for a month and she was completely dry at night for the first time ever however since starting back at school she has not had a single dry night wetting once or twice every night.

I have been told putting her back in nappies will affect her confidence but with the weather turning I can't keep up with the washing and drying especially on night's like last night when she wet both her quilts and her pillows.

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algor · 05/10/2012 12:30

Ask her what she would like to do, if she doesnt want PJ pants (dont call them nappies to her face) then you should stick to washing. I have 3 fleece sleeping bags for my 11yo ds, these are easily washed and dry very quickly.
Its really hard to keep up with the washing but I'd rather struggle than dent his confidence. Every now and then he does ask to wear PJ pants so he can get a good nights sleep, then its a luxury not to have to strip a bed in the morning!

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/10/2012 12:33

No, you cant just put her back in nappies, you need to get the problem sorted.

My best friend has the same problem with her little girl who is 8 but gradually she is getting there. Have you been to the doctor for a refurral to the incontinence clinic. My friends DD was given an alarm which goes off in the night at the first sign of any damp.....it's been a long drawn out process but she is getting there.

I know its awful, I had a similar problem when DS was about the same age when he kept pooing in his pants - very wearing and frustrating - but no, dont put her in nappies as she will just get used to weeing in the night and the situation wont get resolved.

Agree though, crap time of year to be sorting out sheets every day.

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LadyInDisguise · 05/10/2012 12:37

Have a word with her and see how she feels about it. It might well be that being woken up every night in a wet bed is much less appealing that a PJ pants.

Lost of children still need nappies at night at that age. dc2 certainly does as do quite a few of his friends.

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Machadaynu · 05/10/2012 12:40

I used to have the odd wet night for quite a long time, although my mum says I could be dry at night from two.

Anyway, I felt bad enough about it without having to go back into nappies - nothing was ever said, my sheets just got changed. I think I would have felt really low if I'd had to go in nappies.

There was once talk of some medicine for it, but I never took any, and I grew out of it. Every night must be hard to deal with though!

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OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 05/10/2012 12:42

Please don't. My nearly 9 year wets almost every night. I tried pull-ups a while ago and it got even worse as shed just lay and wee in them. It doesn't help Sad

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KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 05/10/2012 12:43

We have mattress covers and a waterproof Duvet. Its an absolute pain in the arse and also makes DS sweaty, but I don't see what else we can do.

When he goes to stay with his GP, we send some of those night time pants or he worries too much that he will wet himself (which he invariably does).

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SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 12:45

Betty dd is already under the specialist at the urology clinic which is why I said she is on 2 different medications.

Dd doesn't wake when she's wet. It's me that wakes her when I check and discover she's wet. She will sleep all night in a wet bed then end up with nappy rash all over her stomach and upper legs where she's lay in the wet patch. She would be upset by pj pants but she is so distressed when she realizes she's wet the bed that I don't know what to do for the best.

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Wolfiefan · 05/10/2012 12:46

Poor you and her.
I bought a waterproof set for my son when he had a medical issue. It included covers for mattress and duvet and pillow. Not a solution but could help?
Wake her and do a dream wee!(When you go to bed get her on the toilet and see if you can get her to go.) may tire her or break your back if you lift her?!
Alarm? Friend had one of these. Wear 2 pairs pants. It clips to outer pants and sounds when they start to get wet.
Pull up type pants? How wet is she? Tena lady?
Sorry trying to think of everything.
Plus the obvious. Bath every morning to check she doesn't get sore. Poor love.

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Wolfiefan · 05/10/2012 12:46

Sorry x post

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SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 12:49

Sleeping bags are a good idea but have been tried and she hates being confined and doesn't sleep same with the plastic quilt covers [pulls hair out]

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whats4teamum · 05/10/2012 12:50

Have you tried these sheets
www.amazon.co.uk/Brolly-Sheets-Single-Mattress-Protector/dp/B003UE3F64?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
I know where you are with the constant washing. You could have a few of these and hopefully whip the wet one off and replace with a dry one without having to change the entire bed. They hold up to 2 litres.

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LadyInDisguise · 05/10/2012 12:51

That's why you need to let her chose whether she wants the PJ pants or not.

And then agree on what is the best way to handle it with your consultant. I am guessing here that if she doesn't wake up at all anyway, the pants won't make a big difference as to whether she stays dry or not.

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piedpiper4 · 05/10/2012 12:52

My dd (8) has just stopped wearing pull ups, but we called them 'Secret Knickers'. She was happy to wear them and never had an issue with it, I think because we never referred to them as nappies etc, so they became a little more acceptable.
She's just gone dry as a very acceptable side affect of having her tonsils out! but before this she was wet every night etc too.
Good luck with it whatever you decide. It seems there are lots of us on here who share your worries.

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SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 12:55

Last drink is at 6, tablet to stop urine production at 7 then wee and bed at 8. She has a dream wee between 9.30 and 10 and occasionally she's already wet the bed and again at 12 again she's sometimes already wet. Then between midnight and 6am she always wets the bed.

I will ask about an alarm next time we are back at the hospital but that's not for a couple of months.

Thanks all for taking the time to read and reply. I really appreciate it

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foreverondiet · 05/10/2012 12:56

My 6.5 year old DS1 has overactive bladder taking oxybutinin which if he takes keeps him dry in the day. He wears night time pull ups - have tried without but he doesn't wake if wet. Better to wear pull ups than sleep in wet bed.

I don't agree with betty above - also I won't medicate my child unless necessary - in year 2 necessary be dry in day, but not necessary to be dry at night.

Ask her what she wants but I would be pushing towards pull ups. Could have a challenge of weighing pull up each morning and reward if its under a certain weight (ie to incentivise to wee if she wakes up in night)

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SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 13:00

Whats4 thanks for the link. We have something similar atm but was looking to buy new ones.

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/10/2012 13:02

Confused - yes do ask about the alarm, it is working well for my friends DD although like I said a long drawn out process. Her DD is a sound sleeper and so she doesnt wake when she wets the bed either.

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DameFanny · 05/10/2012 13:03

Sheets and blankets would be better than a duvet - and cheaper too so you can have lots of changes.

But, if she's not waking when wet at all, a night time alarm is the thing. We had to do this with ds at around the same age, and he's mostly dry now.

Like someone said, pullups were just encouraging him to let it happen. If you're with a clinic already, get them to loan you an alarm. They come with progress charts a well, so the child can feel a bit more in control of the process.

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SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 13:04

Dd is on Detrusitol XL forever for daytime wetting. It worked wonders and she's nowhere near as bad as she was.

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CouthyMowWearingOrange · 05/10/2012 13:21

My DD was on oxy and desmo, and was still wetting almost every night. She didn't stop wetting until 12y9mo.

And it happened literally overnight. The enuresis clinic said it was because her body had finally started producing the hormone she had been missing up to that point.

My best tips? Bed mats. When wet, whip them out from underneath sleeping child, lift them for a dream wee, and while they're on the loo add a new one. At one point I had 4 sleeping bags that we used instead of duvets - a sleeping bag easily fits in a washing machine.

I also had two 'layers' of sheets on the bed - my bed making went : waterproof sheet, polycotton sheet, bed mat, waterproof sheet, polycotton sheet, bedmat. Meant if top layer had got wet, I could just whip it off and bung it in the machine without having to remake the bed.

Made it much easier in the end.

DD is now 14y6m, and hasn't had a nighttime accident once since 12y9m when the hormone production kicked in. No meds since either.

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catwomanlikesmeatballs · 05/10/2012 13:23

What about continence pads?

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CouthyMowWearingOrange · 05/10/2012 13:23

The alarms will ONLY work if the wetting is solely down to deep sleeping. If the wetting is because of non-production of the particular hormone needed for nighttime dryness, the alarm won't help, and will unnecessarily disturb their sleep.

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SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 05/10/2012 13:36

Lol that sounds like my set up couthy plastic sheet, normal sheet, plastic sheet, normal sheet, padded waterproof sheet, normal sheet. When wet pull layer off throw in the bathroom to deal with in the morning.

Interesting to hear about the alarm, I will definitely ask about it but won't expect miracles.

Also slight dur moment over the sleeping bag. Dd's only has a zip that opens halfway down so have only just realized that you ment ones that can be fully opened and used as a cover. I think that's worth looking into.

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DameFanny · 05/10/2012 13:37

Ah, but the alarm doesn't just wake them up couthy - it makes the whole body tense when wee starts to flow, which is something the body eventually learns to do without the noise - in the same way that Pavlov got the dogs to salivate and eat a meringue when he rang a bell.

So what the alarm is doing is training the body unconsciously to hold onto wee, rather than just let it go. hormones help, but are separate from the need to have a body that doesn't just let go of wee in your sleep - else I'd never be able to drink chamomile tea last thing at night!

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lljkk · 05/10/2012 13:51

I would consult with her what she wants to do, talk thru the options carefully & try hard to go with what she prefers. If I were her, Overnight pullups would be vastly preferable to walking up in a puddle. You can combine them with some of the other measures suggested.

We rejected the alarm because my sleep was disturbed enough,I really didn't want the extra wakeups, or the whole rest of the household to be woken up by it.

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