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after a month at ds' new school his teacher hasn't arranged a meeting to discuss

(17 Posts)
Narrowboat Fri 05-Oct-12 09:58:33

his possible learning disabilities.

I really don't know if I am being unreasonable to be pissed off. She said she'd arrange a meeting after two weeks. A month later, nothing.

The last school arranged a whole heap of people to observe ds and I gave all the reports to the teacher and a copy to the SENCO. No contact from SENCO.

I assuming that this means either:

a) she doesn't think there's an issue
b) she doesn't care if there's an issue
c) she's lazy.

OR is it 'only' a month and I should CHILL OUT and she'll get there in her own sweet teacherly time?

(I didn't nag the last school - they arranged everything because they were worried about ds, no input from me)

lilolilmanchester Fri 05-Oct-12 10:01:18

Can't you ask her what's happening ? Or ring the school to ask to make an appointment to see her?

seeker Fri 05-Oct-12 10:03:20

Why didn't you ring to ask about it after 3 weeks? Ring today. Now, in fact.

There is also option 4)- she's working down a massive list of meetings and hasn't got to you yet, and option 5) she is still gathering information, and option 6) she asked the office to ring you arrange a meeting and the message went astray, and option 7) she sent a note home with your ds and it got lost, and option 8) she left you a message on your voice mail and you missed it.....

BarbarianMum Fri 05-Oct-12 10:04:08

Well that would bother me. Hugely. Even if she hasn't, up til now, had the time to meet you/wants to observe your ds etc, she should at least have arranged a meeting.

I would be very firm in requesting a date - now.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 05-Oct-12 10:05:34

I think it probably means that the teacher has a huge amount to do and is still observing your child and forming her thoughts about his needs.

Call the school and ask for a meeting to be scheduled, it will be fine.

Please don't think that she doesn't care or she is lazy, I'm sure she does care and is far from lazy. Children have only been back at school for four weeks, and I'm sure that just about every teacher has been very busy in that time.

sookiesookie Fri 05-Oct-12 10:05:42

Why don't you contact the school/teacher/

basically what's seeker said. There are loads of reasons.

Ithinkitsjustme Fri 05-Oct-12 10:07:20

I'd chase it in the nicest possible way and ask if there is anyway that she could make a date sooner rather than later. Obviously you are concerned but there could be any amount of reasons why this hasn't happened yet.

Narrowboat Fri 05-Oct-12 10:11:08

Ok will chill, assume she's busy and arrange meeting.

Is it not at all odd that she said she'd do it after two weeks but since then has avoided any conversations with me at pick up / drop off? It's more the fact she hasn't done what she said that bothers me, than the lack of meeting.

She's up the duff too and leaving at Christmas. If I ask for SENCO to be present at the meeting for continuation will I look like pushy parent nightmare?

sookiesookie Fri 05-Oct-12 10:15:01

Is it not at all odd that she said she'd do it after two weeks but since then has avoided any conversations with me at pick up / drop off?

is she avoiding you or just really busy? As above there could be lots ofs reasons she has done as she said. You will only know by speaking to her.

Under the circumstances (ie her leaving soon) I think involving senco would be a good idea. But doesn't that take a while to arrange? Perhaps another member of staff can be there so you can meet soon a d have a person for continuity.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 05-Oct-12 10:34:44

It's fine for you to ask for the SENCO to be present, but bear in mind it may take a little longer for them to coordinate that for when they are both available. Don't worry about being pushy, that's not at all pushy, it's being a concerned parent, and schools would prefer that rather than one that was completely disinterested.

Narrowboat Fri 05-Oct-12 11:00:19

I think avoiding as I have hung about the pick up door (sorting out dc2 in buggy) and she's been there not speaking to anyone. So she could easily have said 'oh yes, about that meeting, how about another two weeks so I can observe your ds a little longer'.

I'll ask for meeting with both of them. No hurry, I don't think ds is about to learn to read anytime soon.

I think I was spoilt at the old school where the teacher was fantastic. I knew he was good, but at the the time I don't think I appreciated HOW good he was. He would always give me a quick update on ds's progress without me asking and that was at an busy inner city primary with some very challenging children.

Kleinzeit Fri 05-Oct-12 11:01:16

Contact the school by all means ask to speak to the teacher and the SENCO too. You were very lucky with previous school being so on top of things and you may have to be more proactive with this school. My DS has additional needs and his schools have always been very supportive and mostly well organized but in my experience “I’ll do it after two weeks” usually does mean “if I haven’t done it within two weeks then call and remind me”. When he started high school his guidance teacher more or less said that to me – “I should arrange a meeting by half term but it's a very busy time so if you haven’t heard from me by then give me a call”.

TroublesomeEx Fri 05-Oct-12 11:44:05

a) she doesn't think there's an issue
b) she doesn't care if there's an issue
c) she's lazy.


d) she's bearing in mind what I've said, is making her own observations so that she has something meaningful to contribute to the meeting. Afterall, this is a 'possible learning difficulty' we're talking about, not a diagnosis/statement which requires an immediate IEP. It's only a month into term and she's really busy. Not only that, the SENCO will be involved at this stage in getting the existing/current IEPs written/signed off and then they'll all be able to arrange a useful meeting together.

or any of the other suggestions Seeker made.

Having said that, reminding them that you still want a meeting won't hurt in case they think you've changed your mind.

I can guarantee that they will be really busy - there are many pressures put on your time in school and often more things to do than there is time available which puts you in a robbing Peter to pay Paul situation timewise. Just remind them.

Narrowboat Fri 05-Oct-12 13:42:20

I have called to ask for an appointment for teacher and senco, stressing that am only asking for senCo as teacher is off on mat leave soon.

Thank you for all the replies. I have calmed down. She's busy, I'm high maintenance.

And she's off at Christmas so I need to stay calm in case her replacement is worse.

TroublesomeEx Fri 05-Oct-12 14:55:47


I can understand your sense of urgency for getting this sorted asap.

Please don't say "in case her replacement is worse" though. She doesn't sound as though she's at the 'bad' end of any continuum. But you are right, you want it to all be in place for when her cover starts.

If I can guarantee nothing else, it's that her replacement won't want to walk into a situation that hasn't been addressed properly either. It's quite hard walking in part way through a term and not being sure what's been done and what hasn't.

I hope the meeting is arranged soon and goes well.

WilsonFrickett Fri 05-Oct-12 15:02:17

I found the busy inner city primary with some very challenging children much more responsive and certainly much, much faster at getting to grips with DS, producing IEPs, etc etc. The small school we're at now just doesn't get it, IMO. Keep pushing. The other side of this situation is a small boy who is now approaching 9 months at his 'new' school and who still doesn't have a firm, signed-off IEP. Many teachers are like Folkgirl in RL but many are not - you need to keep on top of the situation.

Narrowboat Tue 09-Oct-12 21:45:10

Interesting Mr Bond! Thank you for the heads up re; new teacher. I will nail a new IEp in place before then.

Wilson - yeah all this 'suburbs is educational bliss' stuff messes with my head. The inner city was where it was at plus so much friendlier at school gate. And Ethiopian stew at the school fair. [sigh]

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