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To tell my husband I am really bored?

(26 Posts)
Flumpyflumps Thu 04-Oct-12 23:02:22

Nothing wrong with relationship as such, everything is a bit meh, school run, work, school run, tea, bath time etc. you know the drill! But of an evening a conversation might be nice rather than tv and having to listen to him snoring on the sofa while I iron or something else equally scintillating!!
He's not technically done anything wrong so AIBU?
Tried initiating convo myself and getting a few minutes before the sofa gets his full attention.

Need a few ideas on reminding him that I am fun and have opinions on things and can hold a conversation rather than being head of shirt ironing.

There must be more to life than this!!
MN jury, tell me like it is....

QuintessentialShadows Thu 04-Oct-12 23:03:48

You could try melt some chocolate and poor on his cheeks, gently, while he sleeps. That should liven things up a bit.

NotMostPeople Thu 04-Oct-12 23:05:26

Just tell him, he probably feels the same. It's very easy to get stuck in a rut.

ThreeEdgedSword Thu 04-Oct-12 23:06:34

The old toothpaste-on-eyebrows trick? Or human Buckaroo, just pile anything unbreakable onto him, see how much goes on before it wakes him up (that was a favourite at parties before I had DS).

VeritableSmorgasbord Thu 04-Oct-12 23:07:51

No don't.
Once the words are out, it's how your relationship is defined. But I bet there's more to it than what you describe. These things are temporary, bringing up kids and having jobs and a house to deal with is inherently boring for the most part.
Instead of having that conversation, ask him what he'd like to do to make life a bit more interesting. Be positive.

santaisNOTathreat Thu 04-Oct-12 23:08:54

show him you are fun, i buy kids wash that foams like shaving foam, put that on his hand and tickle his nose.

on a positive note 1/2 term is coming up smile

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Thu 04-Oct-12 23:11:06

Human Buckaroo! I'm doing that to DH who is also boring as feck!

Flumpyflumps Thu 04-Oct-12 23:13:35

Human buckaroo... Ha ha, now that's a good idea! You are right it is easy to get stuck, and I don't want to get resentful. And also I have to take responsibility too. Perhaps actions do speak louder than words.

OhMyGolly Thu 04-Oct-12 23:24:10

I just don't let the other half sleep on the sofa, if he falls asleep, I wake him up. If he is that tired he can take his wee self to bed.

I refuse to be listening to his snoring during the evening as well as during the night, funnily enough if there is something on TV he wants to watch he manages to stay awake, amazing hmm.

doinmummy Thu 04-Oct-12 23:56:53

Sounds a bit silly but why dont you turn the tv off and have a game of scrabble or triv pursuit? You'd have to chat to each other then.

CuriousMama Fri 05-Oct-12 00:09:02

Is there any chance you can both get out for a night each week? Dp and I go dancing and that's great fun. Or if not like doinmummy says play a board game or something? Or cards?

thebody Fri 05-Oct-12 00:14:39

That's life, married life... It's not wild but its safe.

I suggest if possible and you can afford go away for a night without kids. Nice ( cheap) meal and a budget hotel and fuck his brains out.

It's a plan and worked for us..... Op beware you sound restless... Don't go there...

jojane Fri 05-Oct-12 08:15:57

We had got into a similar rut so now we make tue night no tv night, DH cooks to give me a break and we play a board game or something, just chance to chat and not stare at a tv

GilbGeekette Fri 05-Oct-12 08:22:18

Like others have said, it's a rut, innit. Easy to get into, but the most important thing, IMO, is that you've realised it! Scrabble works wonders (or maybe that's just DH and me!) in terms of getting the tv/computer turned off and talking to each other. But I do thinks that the fact that you're aware of it will make it easier to fix. Hope you're ok, it's a bit shite when you feel 'meh' about things.

Flumpyflumps Fri 05-Oct-12 08:42:55

Thanks! I do think I've set a precedent for the sofa sleeping now since its been allowed for years, just, like others say all a bit meh!
<goes off to lay down the law> think I might need a little activity for myself, hmmm Maybe if I get out one or two eve a week to gym or something he can snore all he likes and I can ban it the other evenings? Compromise??

CuriousMama Fri 05-Oct-12 08:51:59

Yes you could do something yourself on an evening. I never find the gym that inspiring personally. That's why I love the dance as it's a social event too.

I hope you find something to give you both a bit of oomph?

MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 08:54:06

Tell him, but maybe a bit more tactfully than "I am really bored" grin

Good luck, keep us posted x

schoolchauffeur Fri 05-Oct-12 10:56:55

We realised we were getting a bit like this so we have one night a week when we turn the telly off ( shock horror!) and eat a meal sat at the table with a bottle of wine and then we either play cards or table tennis ( DS Christmas present last year!) or we have an evening of "holiday planning"/Christmas planning/garden planning/DIY planning - so last night we planned out and booked a few days away for half term.

DH gets a family gym thing through work- he has back problems so swims every day on the way to work, so once a week we go and play badminton there after work and we then tend to find that the "routine" has been broken a bit as by the time we get home and make a meal together, get organised for the next day its time for bed!

I realise we are lucky in that our kids are older teens and during the week are away at school anyway so we don't have babysitting problems- but when they were younger we still did the No TV thing. Sometimes we do a "film night"- either watching a favourite oldie or treat ourselves to a new one- with some nice snacks/drinks . I know its still watching the telly but its a bit more "planned" than just watching whatever rubbish comes on!

minipie Fri 05-Oct-12 11:24:40

What Moomie said. Don't tell him you are bored. But DO tell him you've been missing having proper conversations with him and would really appreciate it if he made an effort to chat to you more.

Goldenbear Fri 05-Oct-12 12:40:48

Can you get on the sofa with him, so it is more informal- the comversation I mean.

Yes, family life can get a bit like 'Groundhog day' . My DP and I both feel like that but we're both pretty shattered so we're often too lazy to think about how to change that at the moment.

MrsShortfuse Fri 05-Oct-12 20:04:35

Do the ironing naked. However be very careful with the iron.

RainbowSpiral Sat 06-Oct-12 11:22:57

Can you all go out for a meal, we have a v cheap carvery near here.

Ask your dh if he wants to play cards (Canasta is fun) or a board game in the evening, but keep the TV off.

Ask your dh if he wants to chose some romantic music as you've bought a new bra in a sale today.

Invite some friends over for dinner, or if you can't be bothered to cook get a takeaway together.

Leave DH to man the fort and go out yourself to an evening class, keep fit, pub whatever.

Rent a movie and make your own popcorn.

Get a babysitter and go out and have a good time. We found a babysitter through the local University's employment service. A bouncy American student and the boys love her. It's worth the cost for every once in a while.

That's the kind of thing that might spice things up, but you have to actively make it happen.

BeauNeidel Sat 06-Oct-12 11:27:50

YANBU, but I have no advice really. My relationship with my husband is that I would just say 'I'm so boooooored' (yes, I am a child!) and he'd ask me what I want to do and we'd go from there. We are homebodies though plus I don't iron so a movie in front of the tv with crisps and ice cream is often the way we go!

KittyFane1 Sat 06-Oct-12 11:29:18

Agree he probably feels the same. Routine of work, evening meal, DC's bed and bath, then too tired to do anything other than watch tv.

It tedious. Weekends are something to look forward to!

pjmama Sat 06-Oct-12 11:41:38

DH and I rediscovered the art of conversation when our dishwasher broke. I'd wash, he'd dry and we'd set the world to rights along the way. It was great! Haven't spoken to him since it was fixed though. wink

Seriously, it's just about taking time away from the tv somehow and breaking out of the rut..

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