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to quietly point out to a teacher that the way she spells my daughters name is incorrect

(111 Posts)
freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:41:51

I got a note today about an accident at school, the note was written by her class teacher and the spelling of her name was incorrect, I spoke to the teacher very quietly away from other parents to try and check that she did know that it was incorrect and it had simply been a mistake. There are different spellings of the name but we have always used the same one and DD is the only child with that name in the school. She almost shouted at me, to the point other parents turned to listen and said 'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?'

I really was quite surprised because all I had said was is this how her name appears on the register because the spelling is incorrect. I have heard other people complain about this teacher but I have never had a problem until today and it came as quite a surprise.

Was I wrong to point out the error? DD is a very young year 1 if that makes any difference to the answer.

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 16:00:04

ah i bet if it has a sniff of failing that she is way under scrutiny

freemanbatch Sat 06-Oct-12 15:56:21

No I didn't speak to the head I put it down to a bad day and hope it won't happen again. Currently we have a consulting head who is only in a couple of days a week while a new head is recruited so its not easy to track them down and probably not an easy environment to work in either.

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 15:54:03

Head might be trying to sack her - grist to mill

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 15:53:39

so did you complain to the head?

freemanbatch Sat 06-Oct-12 15:52:44

neither could I until it happened Bonny which is why I thought I may have been being unreasonable by trying to point out the error.

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 15:46:13

I cannot imagine a situation where a teacher would shout at a parent.
Especially when the parent is ( allegedly politely) trying to impart relevant information

freemanbatch Sat 06-Oct-12 15:43:11

BONNYDAY? you think I made it up? can't understand why I would but anyway.

I never thought DD name was difficult to spell and used the only spelling I had ever seen for it when she was born but I have since been made aware of two other ways that I never knew of.

I didn't speak to anyone about the teacher, we all have bad days and she probably know herself that she shouldn't have said it so no need to make her feel any worse. I am hoping it will never be a problem again though smile

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 12:09:52

i simplay CANNOT believe the OP.
what a crock of shit

littleducks Sat 06-Oct-12 12:07:22

At ds induction for reception his name was spelt wrong on the list. I pointed it out and first the secretary tried to say it was the councils fault but when I showed get all the other paperwork was correct she realised it had been her typing mistake. She very quickly ran down to the classroom to get his name tag altered wink.

I think for small children it is very important.

MamaBear17 Sat 06-Oct-12 11:59:45

I am a teacher and in that situation I would have apologised and been honest about having spelled it incorrectly. I would probably have apologised to the child too and said some thing like "I shall remember that you are an 'ie' and not a 'y' from now on!". It is your childs' name and identity, the school have a responsibility to spell it correctly on legal documents. Im actually shocked that your child's teacher reacted that way.

LonelyCloud Sat 06-Oct-12 10:56:46

But Flojo1979, there's plenty of easy to spell names with more than one commonly accepted spelling.

Think of Jane/Jayne, Stephen/Steven, Catherine/Katherine, Anne/Ann to name a few. None of the above are hard to spell, but all are easy to get wrong if you're more used to the other variant.

50smellsofshite Sat 06-Oct-12 09:54:37

No matter how fantastic you are as a teacher, no matter how many medals, trophys and certificates you have supporting this, if you cannot learn 30 spellings in two weeks you are NOT fit for purpose. More importantly if you cannot recognise how important spelling this critical, small piece of identifying information is then you shouldn't be teaching.

There are basics in every career. I love teachers and recognise I couldn't do the job. Huge challenges. This shouldn't be one of them.

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:24:05

YANBU to point it out. However YABU to give your DD a name thats difficult to spell! smile

Eskarina Sat 06-Oct-12 09:19:24

As others have said I think that was an awful response from the teacher. To my shame I have let two mistakes creep in to the spellings of children's names in the class this year. Neither are English names, but that shouldn't matter. One came as a mistake from the office, one I assumed a double letter when it was a single. I was mortified when each parent pointed it out and by the next day I had changed everything - their books, peg labels, name lists etc (ie had redone all the work I'd spent both INSET days doing) THAT'S what your dd's teacher should be doing, not shouting at you!

TheLazyGirlBlog Sat 06-Oct-12 09:13:47

YANBU- Teacher sounds like an overbearing twit. As someone rightly pointed out, how can teacher check your DD is writing her name correctly if she doesn't?

I would speak with someone above her, you cannot be allowed to speak to parent's like that. There seems to be a belief that teacher's, as they are authority figures, should be excused from talking to adults and children like shit. All parent's who experience this need to report it, stamp it out. Teacher's should be approachable, however small the issue.

I would worry how she is to the children if she is having an off day or if they bring up something in her view that's "unreasonable", if that was her reaction to you.

Kbear Sat 06-Oct-12 08:32:26

and I'm kidding by the way ! LOL

Kbear Sat 06-Oct-12 08:32:03

Write her a note on Monday saying

Dear Mrs <name spelt wrong>

Annoying isn't it...


Mrs. <name spelt correctly>, mother of <name spelt correctly in capital letters with underscore and highlighter pen.

Big Smile !

WeAreEternal Sat 06-Oct-12 08:24:33

DS is also in yr1.
He has a fairly unusual name, in that I know that he is the only one in his year.
But it is a common Irish name (DP is Irish) so most people I have met don't find it unusual IYKWIM.

I am American so I chose to use the American spelling rather than the Irish spelling, (with an E instead of an A). This is not uncommon in the England, I have seen a few with the same name spell it this way.

DS's teacher refuses to accept that it is spelled this way and always spells it with an A, it irritatede at first but now I just cross it out and rewrite his name correctly.

What really made me cross was when a TA tried to tell DS that he was writing his name wrong.

Clary Sat 06-Oct-12 00:55:59

That's appalling OP.

Massive over-reation by teacher and you are completely correct to request right spelling of yr DD's name.

I teach secondary which means I have almost 300 students' names to remember, but I make a big effort to recall which Aaron is Air-ron and which is Ah-ron, and that Mia is actually said My-ah. It matters to them so it's the least I can do tbh.

SirBoobAlot Fri 05-Oct-12 23:56:15

YANBU, she sounds very rude and unprofessional, really.

I have the more unusual of two spelling options for my name. One of my teachers insisted for years to use the other, never mind how many times I corrected her. She was a right tit.

Coralanne Fri 05-Oct-12 23:55:13

It's often said that making a mistake isn't a big deal in itself.

It's how you deal with it that people remember.

You simply asked if DD's name was spelt like that in the Register.

Teacher's response probably should have been "Not sure, I'll check when I have a moment and correct it if it is not right"

Everyone happy.

sarahtigh Fri 05-Oct-12 23:47:13

I can understand people you do not know me well on a once off basis spelling sara not sarah as that is common variation also we have Macsurname not McSurname but I would expect a teacher to have our names right and if unsure to ask

YANBU you did not humiliate her in front of class and yes it is reasoanble to expect P1 teacher to be able to correctly spell names of 20-30 children, if it was a music teacher that taught them once a week amongst 300 other pupils it would be a bit different

Startailoforangeandgold Fri 05-Oct-12 22:53:45

Class teachers should get names right.
Occasional TA's and teachers just doing the odd lesson may be forgiven.

Certainly no one at school shouldn't be rude if corrected.

Mind you it can be useful. DD2 had odd lesson with the HT and come report time we always knew which comments were his because he gets her name wrong every time.

He finally got it right in her very last Y6 onegrin

zipzap Fri 05-Oct-12 22:36:03

As it was on an accident note you did the right thing checking that it really was for your dd but with a wrong spelling. For all you know there could be an Isabel and isobelle in the class or a Jayne and a Jane - you were being responsible checking that the note was for you and there wasn't some other child who had had an accident and hadn't gone home with an accident note.

As people have said most people try their best to get children's names right but the odd mistake slips through. And most people apologise nicely, are suitably embarrassed and try to correct it. All that's fine.

What is not fine is either the attitude the teacher showed in not expecting to be bothered by spelling names correctly or the the manner in which she replied to you. One of these would make me want to speak to the head teacher, both would definitely make me want to complain to the head.

And no, yanbu to expect her to spell your dd's name. At dc's school by now the entire staff know every child's name - 300 in the school - including the head teacher.

And another vote here for deliberately spelling twacher's name wrong grin

Devora Fri 05-Oct-12 22:15:10

It's not getting the name wrong that people are objecting to so strongly, Humph, it's the dismissal that it is important to get it right. Especially at the start of primary.

By the time my dd is in Y3 I fully expect her to be confident about the spelling of her name and it wouldn't bother me if the teacher got it wrong. But in REception and Y1 she is still learning how to spell the surname, and needs the daily reinforcement of having it spelt correctly on her school peg.

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