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to think it's just plain wrong to want change your DCs name by deed poll before their first birthday?

(64 Posts)
ButtonBoo Thu 04-Oct-12 21:39:43

Just that really.

A mum in my friends NCT group has said (seriously apparently) that they are looking into changing their DDs name by deed poll. She's 10mo. They think they've made a mistake in choosing her name and don't like it anymore. It's an uncommon name but not crazy weird.

Is this not just really odd? I know their baby, their choice etc but it's weird surely. Does anyone regret their name choices that much they'd deed poll change? Can this even happen before the childs 16yo?

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 10:14:50

I don't get people who name their baby when he/she arrives, 'to see what they look like'.
You have 9 months to choose a name! I picked a name for DD shortly after 5 month scan when I found out what I was having, used it on bump for a couple of months and decided I didn't like it.

jock and bissy we had the same with DD's name, not Scottish but a pretty yet grown up, classic name which works in most languages (family from several countries/ languages), also unusual in the sense of not much used in the UK but not weird. We moved to Germany when she was 1.5 - her name might as well be "small girl child" - there are 4 little girls with the same name on our road, 2 in her class of 25 at school... I wished I'd called her by a longer name which her name is the first part of, but felt it was too late to change as she knew her name and it was "her" by that point... It's still not widely used in the UK though... We did the opposite with DC 3 and gave him an English name - he's unusual here but common in the UK hmm

gymboywalton Sat 06-Oct-12 10:29:26

i think people spend toomuch time trying to find a name that is unique or quirky and they forget about the realities of living with a quirky name. So once the baby is born and every other person you meet is doing a double take when they hear your baby's name, it doesn't feel good.

you should always remember that it's not the name that make s a child unique, it's the child themselves.

nickeldaisical Sat 06-Oct-12 10:42:06

music - i suppose it's because children don't have a proper papertrail like adults do - we've got letters and bank statements and loads of other things that we can use to prove that we go as.... but children don't.

gymboy that's true - but there is a middle ground between unique and quirky (which I agree can be hard to live with as the individual "blessed" with a name that it often feels the parents gave to prove how unique and unconventional or special they are as parents rather than really being about the child living their life, going to school, getting a job, meeting new peers as a potentially awkward teen etc.with that name) and having the same name as somebody else in almost every group situation they ever find themselves in - my 7 year old veers between having fun with being one of 2 or 3 or 4 with her first name in every class/ friendship group/ sports club/ playground etc. and hating it - she tried to use her middle name for a bit but didn't like that people pronounce it differently (fairly ordinary name pronounced differently in different languages) here and also at then aged 6, having known almost everyone she sees day to day for at least 3 years, she couldn't really make calling her a new name catch on, so she reverted back to being XXXX surname all the time...

bissydissy Sun 07-Oct-12 05:03:28

I agree Englishwoman i really wanted a less common but not quirky name (like my own) as I have always really enjoyed being the only person I know (besidest my gran) with my name.

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 07-Oct-12 05:15:09

OP, I'm going to go against the grain here and agree with you that I think it's weird to completely change a ten month old's name. they will already recognise their name, so I really hope that the parents have already been using a nickname or the name that they will change to for some time, or that the name change is quite subtle, rather than a radical change overnight.

foreverondiet Sun 07-Oct-12 07:58:27

Before 1st birthday you can just change it. Not odd and none of your business. We have always given babies loads of nicknames at that age can't see why makes a difference. I know several people who have announced name is "x" and then 2nd announcement a few weeks later that its now "y".

SoleSource Sun 07-Oct-12 09:58:46

You are BU and odd to ne upset about a persons decision that does not harm another soul.

People make choices, shame you cannot wiyhout feeling worried what othets think.

dysfunctionalme Sun 07-Oct-12 11:07:44

Hi, I run a school and several children a year have their names changed so not weird at all.

PedanticPanda Sun 07-Oct-12 11:14:54

I know a couple who did this, they thought the name was unique but a few months later went online to check and seen it was very popular so changed it. The way I see it as it was their choice, nothing to do with me. Yabu.

Arabellasmella Sun 07-Oct-12 11:25:20

We changed our son's name at 6 months. You can do it with the registrar as long as they haven't been baptised. If they have then you can't.
Our son in called Barney. When he was born a friend asked me if it was short for Barnaby and I decided (on a whim) (I was heavily medicated at this point) that it would be a good idea to have a posh official name for him. But I started to hate it when people called him it, it just didn't suit him or us. So we changed it. He's now 10 and happy to be Barney.

ModernToss Sun 07-Oct-12 11:35:19

I am in the same boat as musicposy, except that we never did anything about it. My son has always been known as short version and we never ever intended him to be known as long version (which is actually a different name). However my MIL went with DH to register the name, and insisted on long version (par for the course for her). Consequently for all official purposes he is known by a name he doesn't even answer to.

I wish we'd changed it.

ButtonBoo Mon 08-Oct-12 07:10:39

I think going from long to short versions is different although i understand some don't like long version and never want it mentioned/written in official docs etc. This is (as far as I can tell) going to be a complete change.

And I understand a name change more if it's after a few weeks or in the early months. Just at 10mo it made me a bit hmm

Still...I've been told IAU so I'll accept it. Not too proud to say when I'm wrong!!!

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