miffed at DSM for comment on dog/children

[instantfamily]

My DF and his companion have invited us to stay at their house for a long weekend.

This is great except there is always the question what to do with the dog. The dog is a Giant Schnauzer and he has snapped repeatedly at my DDs (now 6 years old) since they were babies which has led to me almost killing him avoiding my DF's house or requesting that he leaves the dog with neighbours/dog sitter when we visit.

No one knows if he is jealous or feels that the little bundle was a ball he could play with but I never feel safe around him with the kids as much as I like dogs in general and my DFs dog in particular.

When I asked DSM if she could understand that I didn't think it was safe she replied that she understood that it wouldn't be enjoyable for me as I would be tense so they would organise something.

Implying that the danger was more in my head than real. When in reality a) my dad could barely hold the dog back if he charged, and b) the dog has snapped at the children more than once up to a year ago in the extremely short time period he has been with them (basically on his way to or from the dog sitter).

Am I being precious? or is there a way to make my DF understand that it's his dog and not me.

[imperialstateknickers]

It's DSM who's said this bit of masterly understatement not DF. Have a good fume, but the important thing is that the dog is not going to be there.

[Anonymumous]

I wouldn't worry about it TBH - they've accepted your concerns and are happy to arrange for the dog to be elsewhere. Whether they think it's you or the dog that's the problem is irrelevant really.

[Megan74]

I don't think YABU but I don't like dogs. Its a question of risk, do you risk your child being around a dog who has snapped in the past? I wouldn't. Then again it's their dog and they trust him. My problem is most people say "he's never done anything like that before" about dogs that bite. How far should you trust an animal with a mouth full of sharp teeth? Its their perogative to place that trust in him though so you need to agree to disagree I suppose.

[instantfamily]

Yes, they do arrange for the dog to be away but it is actually my DSM who convinces my DF that it is necessary. He treats the dog like a PFB.

Oh, well, maybe better to keep shtum.

[Shutupanddrive]

YANBU, and it doesn't really matter if they disagree as long as the dog is not there when you visit

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

You are being precious. She said she'd arrange something, that's more than enough. It tells you that she cares enough about you and your dc to keep her dog out of the way, which is a big deal because many dog owners wouldn't, and yet you still want more?

You don't need to make your Dad understand that it's about the dog. You can't control what is in other people's heads, and the outcome would be the same either way.

[KenLeeeeeee]

YANBU. I wouldn't go either. I don't like dogs at the best of times and one that had behaved aggressively around my children certainly wouldn't be allowed anywhere near them again. However, I do think there's a limit as to what you can insist they do with their dog in their house, so you might be better off suggesting meeting up elsewhere without the dog so you can all spend time together comfortably.

[Sarraburd]

Perhaps remind them that the dog would have to be put down if anything happened (if blood drawn/doc visit - which you'd have to do if blood drawn because of infection risk (can't remember what infection but my DM is paranoid about it for her dogs), and you would hate for that to happen when it's so easily preventable just by being careful to keep them separate.

Oh and YANBU.

[instantfamily]

Outraged , are you a dog owner? Maybe I am just a wee bit jealous because I feel that my DF should put his only DGC before his dog. But I take your point that they ARE in effect removing the dog.

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

Yes, I am a dog owner! And the only people I would consider removing my dog from his home for would be my GC, but as my children haven't even hit puberty yet I can't see me having to worry about that any time soon! Everyone else would have to put up with the dog, or not visit. I think your DF is very much putting his GC first.

[mynewpassion]

They are removing the dog because of your concerns. Does it matter if she thinks ts in your head or not? The dog won't be there.