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AIBU to feel really distressed about what I've been told has happened in my house

(139 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:19:24

We completed on our house this week. I went over there today ( had just picked keys up) to have a look round, see how much cleaning I need to do before we move in etc

There was a knock at the door. Old lady who lives down the road wanted to say hello etc and introduce herself.

I invited her in - she was telling me about bin days and reliable milk men, then she starts telling me about the people who lived there before. And then she says

"We'll you know, it was all very sad what happened"

Me, intrigued "really? What was?"

It turns out a baby was murdered in my house 25 years ago. I very small baby - this woman told me how, etc and in which room (my bedroom)

I'm moving in with 3 small children, my 6 week old being the youngest.

I just feel distressed she's told me. I wish she hadn't. I'm not easily spooked or concerned with ghosties etc but I just feel very sad about the whole thing now.


LadyHarrietdeSpook Fri 05-Oct-12 16:47:04

*bbface Thu 04-Oct-12 20:25:02
I would be more concerned that this is utterly thoughtless woman is my neighbour.*


expatinscotland Fri 05-Oct-12 16:40:05

I lived in a home where a previous tenant had committed suicide in the bathtub.

Occassionally I could smell jasmine while soaking in the tub, but other than that, meh.

I've probably lived in other places where people shuffled off this mortal coil - a lot of places in Edinburgh are sited over plague pits or old cemetaries - Greyfriars cemetary used to be much larger than it is now and is bordered by scores of tenements. Last week, in fact, two bodies were found in the garden of a really nice home there when construction on an extension began.

Bubblemoon Fri 05-Oct-12 16:18:06

A neighbour told me that the previous people in one of our old houses had suffered a "terrible burglary at Christmas time." Perhaps pouncing on new neighbours with horror stories is a recognised condition? Amityville Syndrome?

The house in question had previously been a hospital, so a few christmas stockings being nicked was probably smallfry to what had happened there. And no, we didn't have to share our dinner with multiple poltergeists and theives, we lived there quite happily and sold it for a profit 5 years later.

Jux Fri 05-Oct-12 16:15:49

Burn a little dish of sage in each room. That's traditionally how you cleanse a house.

hellymelly Fri 05-Oct-12 15:40:15

I live in a 200 year old house, it is attatched to another house (at one point they were one). A few years before we bought our side, the man living in the next door bit threw himself out of the attic window and fell to his death (4 storey building). We didn't find out until a day or so after moving in,and his wife then died a few months later (strangely in the place he landed), but our house isn't sad feeling, and nor is next door now ( a small boy and his family live there so lots of noise and fun). Sometimes I think of the poor man when I am in my attic, especially if I'm looking out as I can see where he climbed out a few feet away, but mostly I feel fine about it, just sad for him and his wife. All old houses have histories of good and bad times, enjoy your new home and fill it with love. (You could plant a rose or a flower in the garden for the baby if you find out it is true maybe?).

Moominsarescary Fri 05-Oct-12 15:27:42

Yes I know hope I trained as a mh nurse, that was before care in the community though in the 80s so wouldn't apply in this case

Frontpaw Fri 05-Oct-12 15:06:43

Sounds like just a bit of local colour story. Ignore it!

NellyJob Fri 05-Oct-12 14:04:20

yes but OP said the old woman said that this incident happened 25 years ago (ie 1980s), and that the mum 'had been locked up in the asylum since' which is clearly bollocks.

Hopeforever Fri 05-Oct-12 13:43:01

Moon, sadly is all too true that people were locked up for decades. Single mums were taken into psychiatric hospitals as teenagers simply for having a child out of wedlock and were still there in the 1980's as elderly women. They were too institutionalised to live outside. In the late 80's they were taken to supported housing I think. So so sad sad

jumpingjackhash Fri 05-Oct-12 12:35:14

I wouldn't be concerned or let it bother me. Our house is late 19th century so is bound to have seen the odd dead body, it really doesn't bother me - in a way I quite like the idea the place has some history and is still likely to be standing and performing a role when I'm long gone.

It's the people in it that make it a home, after all!

Having said that, there's a nice-looking family-sized house in my parents' village where a man murdered his wife and then killed himself - it was put on the market by their estate quite soon after (must be about 10 years ago now) and is still empty. sad

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Fri 05-Oct-12 12:27:38

Moomin My friend is an ITU manager and still does that! I think it's lovely.

ellathefox Fri 05-Oct-12 12:16:23

There was an old house in the town I went to uni in that would have been beautiful if renovated. Rumours were that a son had murdered his elderly mother in it years before. Not sure how much of that was true but I'd have happily bought that house if my job hadn't taken me to the other side of the country.

Moominsarescary Fri 05-Oct-12 11:55:42

25 years is a long time for someone to be in a psychiatric unit, or forensic psychiatric unit as would probably be the case. I'd probably take what the old lady said with a pinch of salt.
Even if you researched it whatever you find may not be accurate.

When I worked in nursing homes we always opened the window after someone died as many of the older patients believed it helped their spirts to move on.

sue52 Fri 05-Oct-12 11:33:00

Every house has a past but it's not part of your life. Don't dwell on it, give your neighbour a wide berth and enjoy your new home.

expatinscotland Fri 05-Oct-12 11:20:06

Not terrible at all. It's your house. Easy enough to find out if she's telling porkies or not.

Either way, she was rather spiteful to tell you, the meanie!

OnlyWantsOne Fri 05-Oct-12 10:20:18

Part of me is morbidly curious now. That's terrible isn't it!!!

TheBigJessie Fri 05-Oct-12 09:23:00

I don't believe it, and I don't think you should, too. There's almost certainly a grain of truth in there-, i.e. there was a death.

She surely couldn't know everything in all that detail, unless she'd been an investigating police officer/juror/turned up every single day as a spectator at the trail. If it's the last one, draw your own conclusions...

But really, the details you've quoted here are doubtful. Mental asylum? 25 years ago was 1987. How would she know the mother had never been released from a "mental asylum"? Write letters to check the mother's still under a section order, does she? If the mother was sectioned (which is possible- she was suicidal after finding her baby had died of cot death, or she was suffering postpueral psychosis) it was probably lifted and she simply chose not to return to the area.

Frontpaw Fri 05-Oct-12 09:00:26

That long ago - it was probably something completely different that just grew over the years. Village gossip! Ignore. Maybe she wanted to buy the house too!

BeatTheClock Fri 05-Oct-12 08:52:58

That's very sad but blimey what is she like?hmm I'd be more concerned about having her as a neighbour.

Just enjoy your new house and be happy in it that's most life affirming thing you can do (and avoid gossipy neighbour at all costs)

fluffyraggies Fri 05-Oct-12 08:45:08

Old house = likely-hood of a few deaths, yes sad

BUT - likely hood of a few births too, to even things up grin

(100 year old old cottage and this is how i comfort myself!)

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 05-Oct-12 08:38:59

Haven't read this all so I'm sorry to repeat.
Make sure that nasty woman doesn't tellyour kids.

porcamiseria Fri 05-Oct-12 08:27:10

maybe the mother had post natal psychosis? so I would relate to it as a manslaughter rather than murder
not that it makes it any better

Proudnscary Fri 05-Oct-12 05:41:59

(and I certainly wouldn't look into the story or research it. The mother being in a 'mental asylum' sounds terribly urban myth. Let it go)

Proudnscary Fri 05-Oct-12 05:40:46

Just because she's old doesn't mean she's not an insensitive gossip. Some elderly people seem to think they can get away with 'telling you like it is' or in this case divulging some unnecessary and possibly exaggerated or untrue shiz.

I don't believe in 'healing houses' or spirits or hauntings (or God or anything really!). You will be as happy as you allow yourselves/make yourselves. Try and ignore what you've been told, dismiss it as neighbourhood story telling and enjoy your new home.

MammaTJisWearingGold Fri 05-Oct-12 05:29:37

Am I the only one wondering if the baby was really murdered or if they died of cot death. It was not the recognised thing it is today back then and would be enough to drive any mum insane.

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