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To think my cousin should tone down her blatant desperation?

(14 Posts)
mumbelievable Thu 04-Oct-12 17:06:43

Disclaimer: I am not a bitch, cow, judgey pants etc, but I know this post might make out like I am. I just need to rant!

My mum's family all live down the South of England. I've only met my grandparents on my mum's side, not my aunts/uncles, cousins etc.

So, around two years ago, a cousin (my mum's neice who I had heard about) befriended me on FB and we got chatting. It was really nice. But then the next day my newsfeed began to get littered by her constant pictures and updates and comments etc. And they make me cringe! She's a few years older than me and has a six year old son.

She posts new pics of herself every few days. And the pics are of her posing in very revealing dresses and pulling a (what can only be described as an orgasm) face. And then - the clincher - she reveals her son took the pictures for her! There's also other photos of her doing aforementioned orgasm face while she's posing beside her son. And there's loads of seedy comments from guys under each one, and many are quite vulgar.

Her statuses turn my stomach even more. I check my newsfeed each evening and can see she posts between 2-5 times a day. Most of which are things like 'gosh - i'm so happy being single. I get the bed all to myself' 'Who needs a man? I'm happy with my son.' 'I hate pervs. Why can't a girl just walk around in her shorts without getting whistled at all the time?' 'ohhh i wish i had a man who would treat me right.' 'Ewwww don't you just hate it when silly little boys pester you to go out with them all the time? I'm holding out for a proper prince.' etc etc etc!

And most of these are commented on by guys who say things like: 'You are a princess, Sammy (made-up name). You deserve to be treated like one. If i was single, i'd be your man'.

It seriously does my head in. And i can't hide them, because then I'll miss out on the rare statuses and pictures about her son.

She's in her late twenties. She's a grown woman, yet acting like a desperate teen. I just want to fly down to England and give her a shake.

I'm also single. And have been for a while. But i'd never resort to posting sexual pictures of myself on FB or writing such statuses.

I appreciate that she's lonely and very eager for a boyfriend, but this just cheapens her imo.

TBH, although i've never met her, i can tell we have nothing in common. i.e. she often refers to herself as a 'typical dumb blonde' and laughs when people call her stupid; she loves pink, frilly, girly shit; she loves shoe-shopping; she loves Peter Andre; she loves Fifty Shades; she doesn't have any hobbies; she is one of those people who moan about everything yet never seem to want to change anything e.g. she always moans how bored she is when her son's at school. People comment, giving her suggestions, and she just says 'nah, can't be bothered'. We have NOTHING in common. All we talk about is the kids. Seriously, that's it. She's not interested in any of my interests, and vice versa.

But, she's family. And i've never met her. Quite possibly, she could be totally different in RL. So although she annoys me, i don't want to delete her.

Anyway, AIBU to think she should really tone down her desperation/annoyingness? Or should I just try and glance over her comments each evening, as opposed to properly reading them?

I feel like such a cow posting this, but i think i might explode if i see another pic of her with her tits hanging out while sitting beside her wee boy.

picnicbasketcase Thu 04-Oct-12 17:09:51

Could you put her into the 'family' group thing at the left hand side so you actually have to go and click on it to see anything she says and only when you're feeling up to it rather than it littering your timeline and pissing you off? I have done this with a couple of people, it works quite well.

SmellsLikeTeenStrop Thu 04-Oct-12 17:11:06

I can see how that would get annoying.

Why don't you block her from your news feed and then you can check in on her profile every now and then to see if she's posted anything about her DS that you'd want to comment on?

WilsonFrickett Thu 04-Oct-12 17:16:35

Hide her status updates.

MimiSunshine Thu 04-Oct-12 17:17:15

I can feel your frustration with your cousin through your words and while you do across as a wee bit judgy I do know what you mean and where you’re coming from.

However I have to come down ever so slightly on the YABU because ultimately this is your problem not hers. I also have a family member who annoys the hell out of me with her fb posts, they’re pretty much a replica of what your cousin does and I just cringe / get annoyed / can’t believe what I’m reading / sometimes laugh.
But it’s not for me to think demand they should change because they’re happy with how they lead their life (well actually I don’t think your cousin is happy but that’s another post) so all I can do is decide whether I want to see it or not.

I chose the latter and deleted her. If you don’t want to delete, just hide form newsfeed and check her profile for son updates when you want to.

hatesponge Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:10

I'd say YABU as well. The reference to her liking pink frilly shit and shoe shopping, having no hobbies etc, all comes across a bit judgy on your part, rather 'I'm such a better/more interesting person than her'.

If you don't like reading her statuses, just hide them.

confusedpixie Thu 04-Oct-12 19:55:54

It's disappointing isn't it? To realise that it's like they are on a different planet? I have had similar, started talking to my long-lost-cousins a few months back and I feel really empty now that I have spoken to them and realised that they just seem boring to me.

My cousin (one who I've known for his whole life unfortunately!) does similar pictures. I've just blocked his updates and check his profile once or twice a month to see if there is anything interesting, it'd probably suit you to do that too!

AnOldieButNotSoGoody Thu 04-Oct-12 20:05:23

Oh my effing god.

Get shut of the moron.

And faceb

AnOldieButNotSoGoody Thu 04-Oct-12 20:05:45

And Facebook!

Nagoo Thu 04-Oct-12 20:11:41


Hide her updates if she bothers you, but it's social networking. She is definitely networking, just in a different way to you.

She can't tailor her timeline to you, she's got a man to catch grin

Nagoo Thu 04-Oct-12 20:13:31

Don't defriend her, just hide her updates. If you ever want to meet up with her to judge her in RL you will be able to message her.

HissyByName Thu 04-Oct-12 22:16:23

You've never met her, you don't know her, you are not likely to. Defriend/hide her.

Why is this even bothering you? she is a complete stranger to you.

Soditall Sat 06-Oct-12 10:17:08

YANBU and that face is called duck face.;_ylt=A7x9QV_s9m9Q8wEAQCNLBQx.?p=duck+face&fr=mcafee&fr2=piv-web

I have nieces that do the same so I avoid seeing they're posts to save my own sanity.

Sadly for your cousin she will never meet a great guy if she keeps posting things that make her sound like a loon.

Latara Sat 06-Oct-12 11:04:14

Duck face - why do sane people pose like that? Luckily most of my fb friends have stopped pulling any pouty duckfaces in photos (& not many ever did).

Re: cousins - i have lots; only met some for the first time ever recently.
Most are on my fb but i'm friends with certain cousins more than others - it's like any group of people - some you get on better with, some you don't.

Just block this cousin's status updates; but it's good to stay in contact with family unless they've been seriously offensive, so don't defriend.
& you never know - she may actually be very likeable in RL.

YANBU to get annoyed with her FB content & offload about it on AIBU.
YABU to hate pink! grin

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