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Not to label my twins so others can tell them apart?

(179 Posts)
twinsufficient Thu 04-Oct-12 16:31:11

Dts' nursery teacher has asked me to label them with different coloured stickers as she can't tell them apart. Imho doing this will mean that the teachers will stop trying to tell who is who and rely on the stickers. They are identical but there are differences in face and eye shape etc so not impossible. Should I do as the teacher asks or not?

spoonsspoonsspoons Fri 12-Oct-12 09:54:43

A friend who is an id twin recently put an old school photo of her and her sister on facebook. A long discussion ensued as to who was who with neither sister agreeing!

Gunznroses Fri 12-Oct-12 09:00:43

Does anyone remember The twins in the film "Master of the game" ? Sorry a bit off topic i know.

LadyFlumpalot Fri 12-Oct-12 08:44:47

I went to school with identical twin girls, in year 11 Twin A bleached her brown hair and got contacts. It was then very easy to tell them apart...

Until the start of year 12 when Twin B had also bleached her hair and started wearing contacts.

I wasn't one of their close friends, but I always found it easy to tell them apart. Twin A just looked softer somehow. Maybe her blonde hair wasn't as harsh as her sisters or something.

OP, I also think different bobbles, or shoes or something innocuous would be good. They are not being labelled as such then.

MamaBear17 Fri 12-Oct-12 08:33:10

I would not want to put stickers on them if I were you, I think you are right, it sets them apart from the other children. Instead, I would use the hair clips idea or allow them to dress differently if there is not a uniform. I have taught lots of sets of twins and I find it very difficult to tell them apart so I understand where the teacher is coming from, but as you get to know them it becomes easier. Before that, I always have to apologise and ask them which one they are. As regards to teachers seeing them as individuals, it is often advisable to have them in different classes so that they get a chance to express themselves as an individual. Many of the twins I teach often request separate classes by the time they come to us at 10.

Youcanringmybell Fri 12-Oct-12 08:16:10

I think you should put different hair bands or something to tell them apart. The twins in my daughters class (yr2) are already playing little tricks on the teachers and pretending to be each other...It will stop these kinds of mix ups!

YABU sorry.

Glittertwins Fri 12-Oct-12 08:07:47

We also never refer to the as "the twins" either although it hacks us off both a treat when the outlaws do it.

LilyRosa Thu 11-Oct-12 23:19:47

YANBU as an expectant mother of twins i've already started to lay the way for them to be reffered to as babies/children not as 'the twins' in the hope that they start with individual identities.

There were also 2 sets of identical twins in my year at school and after a few days it was obvious who was who.

I would be furious if this was the teachers solution to telling my children apart.

rodgette Thu 11-Oct-12 22:38:31

Mine also swap said cardigans, shoes, head bands, names, lol. but that's part of what makes them so funny...........

rodgette Thu 11-Oct-12 22:37:11

I encourage my twins to explore differences, hair bands, clothes, shoe colour etc. My identical twins are 6. Mine wear a cardigan and a jumper respectively, mine hate people calling them by the wrong

UltraBOF Sat 06-Oct-12 23:23:55

Of course the teachers should learn to see them as individuals. The point being that in the early days, some obvious distinguishing feature (ok, stickers are crass, but something) helps them do precisely that.

bubby64 Sat 06-Oct-12 21:19:12

I am the mum of ID boys, and, now they are older, they want different haircuts, wear different clothes (unless in school uniform) etc, when they were younger, it was their choice to dress the same, they even always chose the same shoes (it was a nightmare getting those!)The teachers knew one had a very small mole on his chin, but that was the only real difference then. I did have little metal pin badges with the initial letter of their name on for the first couple of terms, and also when a new teacher arrived and was due to be their form teacher, just to help them out, but their own didtinct personalities soon shone through, and the teachers soon learned who was who. By the way, their were just 19 kids in their Primary school class last year, and amoung them, there were 4 sets of twins!

candr Sat 06-Oct-12 20:56:56

No, she should learn them as individuals. I am a twin and would have hated to have a sticker on. I have also taught a number of sets of twins and within a few days have always known them apart as they are differnt people just as any other child in a new class.

lovessummer Sat 06-Oct-12 18:55:44

I have id twins who've just started reception. I wanted them to label them to make it as easy as possible (as they have to wear a uniform and are boys so not much I can do with hair), but they said they didnt want us to 'make it easy' for them and want to learn to tell who's who. (good luck with that though as very few other people have managed!). I admire their attitude but think they could have made their lives so much easier for themselves! Id twins do stand out regardless of whether they are labelled or not. And I have been frustrated when people have avoided calling them anything because they have worried about getting their name wrong. I hate to think the teacher might avoid choosing them when they put their hand up because she/he isn't sure who it is!

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 06-Oct-12 17:25:09

why not supply her with a photo of them and a label of what to look for to tell them apart. she can then check this discreetly until she has it worked out herself.

MikeOxard Sat 06-Oct-12 16:59:19

I would help her out and put stickers on them. On the other hand, as a twin, I would swap stickers frequently for a laugh. grin

Think you have the right solution in your last post OP - dress them a little differently, don't label them with a real, literal label!

My 7 year old's best friend has 13 year old ID twin brothers - their own 8 year old sister still sometimes doesn't know which is which, especially if they are not together (if you ask her she usually calls out the name of one and waits to see who looks over), and I can't tell them apart - but they choose to look the same - they both have long hair in ponytails, you'd have thought one would have cut it by now... and they tend to wear similar trousers and T shirts that look as if they have taken one each from the same 2 back, so they don't dress as mirror images but in such a similar style there is no way of saying "Ah that's M, he usually wears surfer type stuff" or "That's S, he's the wannabe Goth one" or anything like that grin Its their choice at 13 I guess though, for whatever reason...

Frontpaw Sat 06-Oct-12 16:10:46

I was always confused with one of my sisters. People would assume we were twins and quite often - even up to our 20s - someone would say to one of us 'why didn't you say hello rto me when I say you on X street on Tursday?'. It used to drive us nuts.

The girls in our family were always referred to as 'The Girls'. We hated that. I always wanted to be a twin though.

My friend's a twin and her sisters children, up to the age of 6 or 7 would walk into a room, say 'Muuuuuum! Mum? Oh, Aunty X' quite often, or just wander over, peer at either twin, then wander off again.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 06-Oct-12 15:43:57

That's true throckenholt.
My sister and I live 60 miles apart but when I go to town people always say hello M, but when we're together the differences are obvious.
And we're really really old.

throckenholt Sat 06-Oct-12 15:20:32

Have you ever thought of asking them ? If they won't tell you their own name they may well tell you who the other one is. So say to them "Is that Tom ?" and they will either agree, or laugh at your silly mistake, or tell you. Either way you can then work out which is which.

I think it is often easy to tell id twins apart when they are together - one is invariably taller or a bit fatter, or have a rounder face, or slightly wavy hair. It is when they apart that the problems really kick in because you have nothing to compare the little differences to.

steppemum Fri 05-Oct-12 22:38:48

I have 2 sets of identical twins who regularly come to our sunday school. One parent dresses them identically and expects me to know the difference. The other parent dresses them differently, and often puts a sticker on their back with their name on it.

I actually have no need of the sticker, but I do need to catch her at the beginning and ask her which twin is wearing what. Once I know then I can identify them properly. I am beginning to learn who is who (not helped that they have no English and I only see them once a month for an hour, but I am learning their personality differences slowly)
I get really frustrated with the other parent. The boys are VERY identical. I have yet to work out who is who, and because I am not looking at x and thinking that is x. I am never going to get it. I look at him, and it could be x or y, so any identifying features don't become associated with the right name. It is awful to call across to x and not be able to say their name. I always end up saying 'x and y, come and have a drink and biscuit' So they remain bunched together as twins

amillionyears Fri 05-Oct-12 22:26:43

op,yes,if you dress them differently at school,then it will be a little less likely that they will be refered to as the twins.
Win win.

twinsufficient Fri 05-Oct-12 22:21:23

LadyBeagleEyes I hate it when people refer to them as the twins as they don't know which is which. I have decided to dress the twin whose name begins with C in a cardigan from now on so it should be easier for the teacher - c for cardigan.

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 05-Oct-12 12:08:37

As an identical twin myself, I remember the school years, particularly when I got to High School, when we were addressed as Twin, rather than anyone bothering to learn which of us was which.
And we did do everything to try and look different.
I think you should try and let them look as individual as you can, not so much for the teacher's sake, but for their own.

Frontpaw Fri 05-Oct-12 12:02:39

Lots of the girls in DSs year look the same to me! Long blonde hair, blue eyes... I never get names right anyway, so I call them all 'Dear' or 'Sweetie'.

oohlaalaa Fri 05-Oct-12 11:54:01

My cousins are identical twins, six months younger than me, and I don't remember there ever being an issue telling them apart, even when they were very young and wore the same clothes and hairstyles.

I wouldn't label them either, just nicely point out that the differences. She'll soon learn..

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