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To think children shouldn't be allowed to scribble on their toys?

(89 Posts)
tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:28:58

Ds (6) has a Melissa and Doug wooden castle, that I gave him for his birthday a couple of months ago. I found him writing all over it with a permanent pen. He had written 'knights' and 'queen' and king, and also put lots of other scribbles on it. I was furious and told him off. He said 'but dad said it was ok and helped me'. I didn't believe him but dh confirmed it was true. I apologized to ds but reiterated to him that 'we only draw on paper' and never with a permanent pen.

Anyway, dh said he couldn't see anything wrong with it at the time, he kind of sees where I'm coming from now but that ds was being creative and he thinks it was not so bad. He says this is just a 'parenting difference' between us. He also thinks that the castle is not ruined, as I think it is. I think dcs prefer toys that actually look nice, and I was hoping this castle would be around for a while and be handed on to dd. It cost $100 sad.

Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable or crazy, as dh is suggesting...

winnybella Thu 04-Oct-12 13:35:05


<looks at walls and sofa covered with DD's graffitti>

I think I agree with your DH, but then I would grin

TunipTheVegemal Thu 04-Oct-12 13:37:54

I think your dh is wrong because your ds will regret it.

FredFredGeorge Thu 04-Oct-12 13:39:02

I'd be fine with it - I'm sure there's actually a solvent which will remove the "permanent" pen if you want to.

No-one is wrong, it's simply a preference.

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:39:07

How old is your dd, though, winny? Ds knows he can't draw on walls but he did do it a bit when he was two. I've actually removed the castle, because I don't want to normalise having scribbled on toys.

instantfamily Thu 04-Oct-12 13:39:31

My DDs have started this and it drives me crazy until I remember all the writing I did in books, on toys etc. when I was their age (6).

I think you will see a few more items being scribbled on before he is over this phase. Be patient! ... and happy that he hasn't refashioned expensive items of clothing with scissors!!

redskyatnight Thu 04-Oct-12 13:39:43

DD has drawn on lots of her toys. Whilst I don't encourage it, I guess I think they are "her" toys and if she's "enhancing" them rather than mindlessly destroying, I don't necessarily see the problem. In my mind it goes in the same category as parents who only let their children play with 1 colour of play doh at a time because they don't want the colours getting mixed up.

jaggythistle Thu 04-Oct-12 13:39:45

YANBU. DS1 (3) has drawn on a couple of books when we weren't looking and DH was similarly puzzled at me being annoyed that it happened.

i don't like him drawing on things and also think sticking to 'only on the paper' keeps it simple. grin

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:40:52

Really? A solvent? That sounds good (might also get ink out of dd's dresses).

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:43:36

That is what dh says, red sky.

Hmm, I am not getting as much support as I expected. I am generally a very messy person, and don't mind the dcs making mess, but I just don't want them destroying stuff. Like turnip, I think the dcs will regret it in a day or so when that particular game is over.

SammyTheSwedishSquirrel Thu 04-Oct-12 13:45:29

Acetone removes permanent ink. So a bottle of nail varnish remover with it in will do the trick.

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:47:04

Ooh, am going to try now.

GummiberryJuice Thu 04-Oct-12 13:48:46

I agree with you because where do you draw the line (no pun intended) at what they can scribble on.

dd2 (5) actually asked me a while back why I had let her draw on a book and I told her I didn't she was just a wee monkey when she was little, she was quite annoyed because she had ruined her own book.

DontGrumbleGiveAWhistle Thu 04-Oct-12 13:48:48

Eraser will rub out permanent marker off wood! Unfortunately I know this from personal experience.

IMO children shouldn't write on toys/books etc. We try to teach our children to respect the things generously given to them by us and others

Firawla Thu 04-Oct-12 13:51:56

yanbu but i think you are a bit ott removing the castle, as his dad did say it was okay but removing the castle is punishing him so bit unfair
unless you go get the solvent, clean it and give it back
i would talk to your dh and try to get him to agree to the no drawing on toys rule

PigeonPie Thu 04-Oct-12 13:52:00

Well I don't think are unreasonable. I think
It comes down to respect. Respect for things which time and money have been spent on and respect for other people's things - I'd be mortified if one of my DSs did that at someone elses house.

I agree that pens are for paper - what is wrong with making signs on paper and blu-tacking the paper to the toys?

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:53:27

Can't find any, of course. But I will try with an eraser tomorrow. I should spend more time in housekeeping and less in AIBU.

catwomanlikesmeatballs Thu 04-Oct-12 13:55:15

yabu, you have a preference for scribble free toys but you are not the one playing with them. The whole point of toys is that children get to use their imagination with them, they're to be enjoyed, not merely looked at.

I scribbled, painted, cut, reshaped and transformed everything I ever owned as a kid because I wanted to and it was brilliant fun. Let your kid express his creativity, you don't know where it might lead.

nannyl Thu 04-Oct-12 13:56:22

I agree..... IMO you dont draw on toys....

if you want to label a castle with king / queen etc then write signs on paper and fix with blu tac

I would never allow my DC to draw on toys, weather it cost 10p or £100

thegreylady Thu 04-Oct-12 13:56:32

If his dad said it was OK then your ds has done nothing wrong and the castle should be given back. Your issue is with dh not ds.

FredFredGeorge Thu 04-Oct-12 13:56:40

Of course it not's appropriate to draw on someone elses toys, but that's different from drawing on your own.

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 13:57:31

It know it is unfair, firawla, but it just looks so bad. I was thinking I would paint over it and give it back, but if I can remove the ink that will be much better.

tryingtoleave Thu 04-Oct-12 14:01:17

I didn't remove it as a punishment - I was just taking the preffered vandalism approach - that you cover it up/hide it ASAP so that it doesn't become normal. Dcs are in bed now (night time here) and if they ask for it in the morning I will bring it out and see if we can fix it together.

I am a little bit happy to see that dh isn't as crazy as I thought he was - that some other people think the same.

Kingcyrolophosarus Thu 04-Oct-12 14:03:05

only write on paper in this house

but his dad did tell him it was ok, so it's not really his fault

KnickersOnOnesHead Thu 04-Oct-12 14:03:09

DD (5) writes on a lot of her toys, mostly writing her name on absolutely everything! DS (3) is a P.I.T.A and has scribbled all over my wall. I was more annoyed at that than DD on her toys. Creativity I think it is called grin

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