I have 3DC, 2 dogs and I'm 6.5 months pregnant and I do everything. My DP and I have been together about 4 years and he desperatly wanted us to have our own child so after lots of perswastion I agreed. He goes to work Mon to fri, leaves the house around 7:30am and he's back around 6:30pm and it ends there, he spends rest of evening on facebook, twitter & the internet while watching tv. i go to bed early as im exhausted which he complains about but comes to bed at the same time with his tablet and puts the tv on, if i wake around 11/12 hes still on tablet watchin tv! I keep the house clean and tidy, do all washing and ironing, sort rubbish and recycling out, sort kids out (baths, homework, playing etc), packed lunches for DC and DP, walk 2DC to school and pick them up....rain or shine, walk the dogs with us then a little walk at lunch. We have our shopping delivered but if I need a few bits I have to walk into town or get a friend to take me. I have his fresh cooked tea ready for him every night as I wouldn't want reheated food. DC have swimming lessons on a Saturday at 9:30 but rather than let me lay in we all go! He does help me make the roast on Sunday but we're only on our 3rd one and he never helped before so I'm wondering how long he will keep it up!! He also does make his own beer and he's just started making bread :-) but he won't let the DC help so its all rather stressful and easier if I remove the children and dogs from the house :-(
AIBU to expect him to keep on top of garden, clean my car and maybe just take the kids out on a weekend to give me 5 mins peace? I'd also like him to tidy up after himself, he leaves his cups etc on coffee table, washing on floor, papers.......just general stuff everywhere, if he opens his mail he leaves it all on the table and its still there the next day. If he pulls a book off the book shelf he never puts it back, he's the same with computer games.....never puts them back but if the DCs do any of these things he tells them off......
Don't get me wrong before I was pregnant I was happy to do all the mans jobs but I physically can't do them now :-(
I do love him to pieces but its driving me mental or am I just being silly and pregnancy is making me this way?!
AIBU?
AIBU...partner does nothing :-(
surfingbabies · 04/10/2012 13:08
Wow - that is a lot going on.
Sit down and have a conversation with him on 'plans for the next few months'.
Do not start the sentence with 'you are not helping enough' - tempting as it is men are idiots most of the time who cant take criticism and it will just lead to an argument.
He does work long days but say you'd like to get some of the bigger jobs done before winter and baby get here - garden etc.
Maybe he could put making bread and beer on hold as there is so much to do. Try to explain that you are really trying to do it all but that as you are getting further along you are feeling more tired, more stressed and more pressure to keep juggling everything.
Do you own or rent your home? Is it jointly owned/rented? Did you work before you met him? I think you need to start thinking in terms of being single. Not rely on him for anything. Him wanting a child was, I reckon, just to ensure you did not have enough of his lazy ways, and leave him! Now he has got you trapped, he knows you wont make yourself vulnerable and leave, and I suspect you will soon see that he takes care of his child, but might not be so keen to take your children out on things.... 
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I despair, I really do. How often do I read on MN about lazy men who have a family but think their sole contribution is bringing home the bacon?
Surfing he may well love you but he has no idea what being in a live-in, loving relationship entails. And in the long run, that's what counts.
You are with a lazy and thoughtless man. Your DCs are going to grow up thinking this is the norm. And why on earth did you let your DD do his washing 
? That's hardly going to make him see the error of his ways, is it?
One more thing - he says he's too tired to do housework/gardening/childcare as well as go out to work. Who did all of that stuff for him before you lived in together?
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