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Or is this other mother a bit OTT ?

(16 Posts)
typicalvirgo Thu 04-Oct-12 11:11:19

Just a bit of background...

we recently moved area and schools and DD wanted to join a dancing group with her new friend (who goes with another girl).

The dance hall is about 5 miles away and friend lives in the next village to us about 6.5 miles away in total. Makes perfect sense to share the driving. And friends mother is happy to do this too (we hardly know each other yet but have chatted to say hello etc ).The friend has to pass our house to get to the town and I have to make an extra journey of 1.5 miles x 2 - but no bother for me.

Now, the friend has another friend who lives 3 doors away from friend 1.

Friend 1 mum mentioned to friend 2 mum about sharing lifts. In theory it would mean we would all do the car drive once every 3 weeks.

Friend 2 mum is now going ballistic saying she is not comfortable with this. She does not want her daughter to travel with a stranger.

Friend 1 mum comes back to me and says she is terribly sorry, the lift sharing is off but when it is her turn she is more than happy to take my DD.

To put some perspective on this DD and her friends are 15 years old.

I've calmed down now but is she being over protective or am I just to laid back ?

squoosh Thu 04-Oct-12 11:12:50

The other Mum sounds a bit of a loon. Why don't you phone her and set her mind at rest that you have no intention of whisking her daughter off into the white slave trade.

Miggsie Thu 04-Oct-12 11:13:24

Totally over protective...unless of course you are a 55 year old bloke who leers at teenage girls and wanders around with your hands permnently in your pockets?????

WhispersOfWickedness Thu 04-Oct-12 11:14:14

15?! Crikey. It's not you. In a couple of years her daughter could be living in a city miles away, getting lifts with whoever she chooses confused

sugarice Thu 04-Oct-12 11:16:14

She's barking!

RubyFakeNails Thu 04-Oct-12 11:24:08


I'd be grateful for a lucky escape.

Avoid all contact with the crazy, this is whats called a warning sign, take notice.

typicalvirgo Thu 04-Oct-12 11:27:53

I dont know her name or number Sqoosh, but to be be honest at the moment I feel a bit too cross to talk nicely.

grin at others.

DH says I should leave it and just get on with things, its not a big deal.

I know its not a big deal, but here I am, in a new area with no family or friends around - and its hard. Really hard.

the one good thing about it is that its confirmed that I dont want to live in this mad village when we buy a place (currently in rented). Get me back to suburbia !

MammaTJisWearingGold Thu 04-Oct-12 11:38:52

This made me laugh. I was thinking they were all 5 or 6 until I read that they are 15. How much cotton wool must she get through? That girl is so wrapped up in it.

Chrysanthemum5 Thu 04-Oct-12 11:53:19

YANBU, the other mother sounds incredibly over-protective. Unless of course you're a terrible, unsafe driver and everyone knows that grin

However, if the original mum takes your daughter on her turns then you're still only having to do the drive 50% of the time, is that correct? If so, result!

typicalvirgo Thu 04-Oct-12 11:57:45

My track record is impeccable I will have you know Chrysanthemum5.

maybe its my car she has a problem with <whispers big black 4x4 with private plate>

And yes, you are right I get a week off every other week, so a bonus.

Kbear Thu 04-Oct-12 12:00:50

why not arrange to meet over coffee so you are no longer someone she doesn't know - problem solved and less driving for everyone

boredandrestless Thu 04-Oct-12 12:03:48

Fifteen!?! grin


Just leave her to get on with it.

Kbear Thu 04-Oct-12 12:08:23

It is a bit OTT but to save yourself and your friend all those extra trips, a bit of diplomacy is the way forward - get to know her, save petrol!!

Anotherusefulname Thu 04-Oct-12 12:08:58

I actually think the mother has a fair point and the complaint may well come from her daughter.
I know when I was a teenager I had a terrible fear of getting in cars with strangers. If I couldn't walk or one of my parents couldn't take me I didn't go. Weirdly I'm ok with buses if I'm not on my own but to this day I've never got in a taxi.
It used to drive my parents mad that they couldn't do lift sharing.

Musomathsci Thu 04-Oct-12 12:13:22

No, no, walk away. Take advantage of the lift share with friend 1 and say nothing to friend 2. Mother of friend 2 may mellow in time and approach you re lift-sharing, in which case you can re-consider, but definitely don't try to persuade her.
Some people really dislike sharing lifts (I'm one of them) and you only have friend 1's word that she "went ballistic" - who knows what else may have gone on in that conversation. She does sound a bit barmy though, so you're probably best off out of it.
Good luck finding a nice house in town!! Village life, meh....

DowntonTrout Thu 04-Oct-12 12:19:15

Wow I was just thinking of the logistics of swapping car/booster seats.

Then I read they are 15!

Take up the offer of sharing with friend 1s mum. The girls will get to know each other in no time, then this other mum will want to join in.

Then you can refuse! grin

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