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to not send my boy to nursery because of the little girl's abduction all over the news.

(231 Posts)
YesAnastasia Thu 04-Oct-12 10:42:00

It's not that I think it will happen to him but it's on my mind, on all the news and everyone's taking about it and it makes me want to have him sat on my lap 24/7. You can't help but imagine what if it were you, can you?

Nursery seems disorganised at best at the moment and I just want to keep him at home for the rest of the week. Is that bad?

sosos Mon 08-Oct-12 11:35:48

@jugglingwithpossibilities.... yeah the nurseries have been really poor and the worst thing is they have all been large chain private nurseries where you think the stuff would be great. i have had to leave so many places cause i couldnt cope with being the only one that actually worked and yes the pay we get is a shocker. you want your children to be safe when you are made to believe they are being well looked after. x

cory Sun 07-Oct-12 10:31:12

"times like this" implies that something new has happened that has changed the world

the truth is that children die every day of the year- and have done throughout history

just as many children were abducted and/or murdered 80 years ago (my MIL was nearly one of them), the month that doesn't see a child abduction in this country probably sees one in France or Spain or Scandinavia, these things happen at about the same rate all the time

the only thing that differs is the press coverage- and press coverage doesn't make any difference to the safety of our children

we can never keep our children 100% safe - but by dealing with our fears bravely and cheerfully we can refrain from making their lives one perpetual worry about all the bad things that might happen

JugglingWithPossibilities Sun 07-Oct-12 08:44:39

Well, you must have worked in some pretty bad nurseries sosos
I'm sorry that's been your experience.
I've worked in lots of great nurseries, where everyone does their best for the children. That's not easy when you're working 8-4 or 10-6, and some weeks when I was asked to do 8-6pm years ago. That's a long day with children - as we all know !
Sometimes staff have been stretched in terms of ratios, especially in early morning, end of the day, and lunch-time (due to obvious staffing challenges, with shifts and lunch-hours) but honestly I've always been impressed by the dedication of the staff (They/we all deserve a pay rise and better recognition of their skills BTW)

sosos Fri 05-Oct-12 13:33:03

Luckily the nursery i am at is safe for the children but the workers (apart from me) only bother with ther children when the parents can see. otherwise they are mainly just sitting there chatting about eastenders etc. ive only worked at one nursery out of 6 that was great with the children x

DialMforMummy Fri 05-Oct-12 13:25:53

Firstly those who are saying "get a grip" why dont you take your own advice. I do. DS is at nursery, hopefully not where you work.

sosos Fri 05-Oct-12 13:02:21

Firstly those who are saying "get a grip" why dont you take your own advice. theres no need to be horrible is there? Try be adult?
I have worked in nurseries for 8 years, all different ones and i can tell you i will NEVER send my child to one! Thats a different matter. op i understand where you are coming from, times like this you want your loved ones close by. i dont think this is the op's way to turn the attention on herself and views like that are the views that are actually quite disturbing. i know some SICKOS do try and turn it on themselves but i think this was general concern. I really pray this little girl gets found and none of us ever ever have to experience anything like what her parents are going through :-(

RubixCube Fri 05-Oct-12 11:06:20

YABU.Yes its upsetting but nothing will happen to your son in nursery as they are very strict and don't let randoms take children out.This is why they have passwords.

DialMforMummy Fri 05-Oct-12 10:27:08

YABVU for all the reasons above.

halcyondays Fri 05-Oct-12 10:20:48

Whatever does the abduction of that poor little girl have to do with disorganisation at your son's nursery? confused April wasn't at a nursery. If you're not happy with his nursery, then speak to them about it.

SusanneLinder Fri 05-Oct-12 10:07:14

And you can IMO harm a child a lot by not allowing them to take slow, incremental steps towards independence, which at this early age means time away from you. I saw some very vulnerable, reckless, dangerously innocent kids at university, whose parents had smothered them all their lives before releasing them, completely unprepared, into independent existences.

Woohooo. Another sensible person. Yep, I am fed up of reading about all those helicopter parents that don't allow their kids out at 10/11. I mean REALLY.No wonder we have a bunch of socially inept kids.

One graduate recruitment company was interviewing for graduate postions in London, and he had 3 refusals to attend the interview, cos the interviewees had no idea how to get there......

I rest my case.

perfectstorm Thu 04-Oct-12 22:45:20

I hasten to add that I very much hope it goes without saying that I am also praying April Jones is found safe and well. But the OP is fairly plainly scared that her child won't. That's the fear I am addressing.

And you can IMO harm a child a lot by not allowing them to take slow, incremental steps towards independence, which at this early age means time away from you. I saw some very vulnerable, reckless, dangerously innocent kids at university, whose parents had smothered them all their lives before releasing them, completely unprepared, into independent existences.

YesAnastasia Thu 04-Oct-12 22:44:01

Now that jamdonut I might agree with. I am (and probably will be) 'one of those' parents. I think I am a bit of a control freak with my children.

Don't need to control or 'police' any other area of my life though.

You feel sorry for a school?

perfectstorm Thu 04-Oct-12 22:42:27

This kind of thing is, thankfully, incredibly, incredibly rare.

On average, 11 children (under 16) a year are abducted and killed by someone other than a family member. There are 12 million children. Your child therefore has less than a 1 in a million chance of being taken and harmed in this way - you're almost as likely to win the national lottery main jackpot, in fact.

I know it's terrifying, but given 126 under-fives died last year from being scalded by the hot tap in their own homes, I think a sense of proportion is essential.

brandysoakedbitch Thu 04-Oct-12 20:36:28

get a grip

Agnesinroom25 Thu 04-Oct-12 20:34:59

Kay Burley is an arse she was talking about April in past tense today sad.
I think I know what you mean op sometimes I get a little anxious and want us all to stay home and have a duvet day.

jamdonut Thu 04-Oct-12 19:59:15

If you are like this when he's just going to nursery,I feel sorry for the school that he will eventually go to. Will you be one of the parents who will make their child stay in school while the rest of his class/year go on a school outing, because you will not be able to police everything? Sounds like you don't trust anyone .
No matter how safe you think something is,there is always the chance of something freakish occuring. It is life. Horrendous if it happens to you, but it is not something you can necessarily have control over.
Children are growing up with no common sense, because adults are thinking of and attempting to eliminate all the "dangers", so that there is no need to think about those dangers themselves.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 18:34:12

It's on the news now. I am not going to turn it off.
Well I might if they carry on in this style.

The pink ribbons are nice. Something the family have asked for.

I didn't mean to include the community and those with local knowledge in my earlier post btw.
It's the tourists I am talking about.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 18:23:10

Sky news keeps rolling whether I deign to view or not.

scampadoodle Thu 04-Oct-12 18:21:25

Um, no, I'm not watching it at all. The man I referred to was on the R4 Today prog, which I have on when getting ready in the morning.

YesAnastasia Thu 04-Oct-12 18:16:55

Gosh, are you all watching it 24/7? If there were no audience, no one would play up to it.

YesAnastasia Thu 04-Oct-12 18:14:12

I'm not shy or nervy. I never said I was. I worry and am anxious where my loved ones are concerned. I am not diagnosed.

AnOldieButNotSoGoody Thu 04-Oct-12 18:10:30

I had sky news on earlier and behind the reporter was a young blonde woman on her phone smiling and chatting and looking over to the camera.

Sickening really.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 18:04:57

It was obvious from the police forces's later statements that the hangers on were causing a nuisance.
They were tactful but it was clear these people who just wanted to be a part of history were getting in the way.

CrikeyOHare Thu 04-Oct-12 17:37:21

I caught a bit of Sky News earlier and that awful Kay Burley was asking someone or other how the police could go about conducting their search at the same time as making all the volunteer searchers "feel included".

FFS. Why should the police, who have rather better things to do, give a flying fuck about making anyone feel "included"? It's almost as if some people are just determined to "show they care" even when they've been asked not to come.

No disrespect at all to everyone local who was out on the first night - but people who come from far and wide are a hindrance not a help.

scampadoodle Thu 04-Oct-12 17:18:01

Oh I'm so relieved to read the posts of MrsDV et al as that's exactly how I feel and I was worrying that I was just a grumpy old cow. Someone mentioned people travelling miles to help search: I heard a bloke interviewed who'd come 100s of miles to do this, only to be told that it was police only. And he sounded really put out! Like he'd been deprived of his moment. I half expected him to say he was going to report it to the PCC.
Re Diana: we were invited to a wedding the day of her funeral. People were 'shocked' that a) we went to it, & b) that the couple hadn't cancelled the wedding!

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