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to not send my boy to nursery because of the little girl's abduction all over the news.

(231 Posts)
YesAnastasia Thu 04-Oct-12 10:42:00

It's not that I think it will happen to him but it's on my mind, on all the news and everyone's taking about it and it makes me want to have him sat on my lap 24/7. You can't help but imagine what if it were you, can you?

Nursery seems disorganised at best at the moment and I just want to keep him at home for the rest of the week. Is that bad?

TigerFeet Thu 04-Oct-12 11:42:37

I agree wholeheartedly with everyone who finds this sort of over the top reaction a bit distateful.

I'm not cold, far from it, I cry and laugh and cuddle my girls close all the time.

I just don't think that an appropriate response to someone else's tragedy is to assume that it's going to happen to you as well.

DuelingFanjo Thu 04-Oct-12 11:43:40

"They have to tell the world how awful they feel and how it is affecting them.

It isn't affecting them. Their children are safe and they no nothing of the pain and horror the family are feeling. They cannot and should not imagine what it's like"

I so so agreee. .

Last night, on here, I read someone saying that they keep thinking, hourly, about the poor girl being locked up somewhere!! Why? Why did they feel the need to type that out let alone think like that every hour of the day. It's just awful. So many people I know who have connections to Machynlleth have felt the need to post about it on Facebook, as if this is somehow happening to them because they went there one on holiday or know the village. Urrgghh.

I so agree with MrsDV, Folkgirl and others.

Every time there is a tragedy it seems that people can't wait to share how its affecting them. I don't understand why anyone would want to turn a families pain into their own drama.

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Oct-12 11:57:52

Fanjo I was just thinking this morning that the more 'attention hungry' posters I see on Facebook seem to be using this awful abduction to gain attention for themselves.

It's a fucking disgrace seeing all the competitive comments about how one person is more affected by it than another.

Yet not one of them knows April or her family hmm

porcamiseria Thu 04-Oct-12 11:59:04

what grot said, maybe a bit gentler he he

porcamiseria Thu 04-Oct-12 11:59:38

worra you need to DELETE those twatty facebook friends, please!

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Oct-12 12:03:28

porc not one of them are on my friend list.

In true attention seeky style, they have their accounts set to public.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Thu 04-Oct-12 12:04:14

The OP is not participating in any attention seeking competitive empathy fest, which I have no doubt is going on elsewhere. (And frankly, if you don't like those, then one really has to wonder what you're doing here, because this site is fucking full of them.) She is suffering anxiety about her own child as a result of hearing about these events. If her anxiety is excessive, as i think we all agree it is, then she deserves some sympathy, not being labelled a "sicko" or "weird".

AnOldieButNotSoGoody Thu 04-Oct-12 12:05:28


Yabu but I'm sure you know that. If you're happy with his nursery just keeping him off for one week isn't going to help much is it?

Maybe you need to look at a different nursery.

I've been reading a thread on mn regarding the disappearance of April and have had to zip it.

I do not understand how and why people take the story to their heart.

Yes I'm a mother and yes I've lost a child, my child and I certainly feel for her parents and hope she's found alive but I don't think she will be.

But certain people on that thread take it personally if anybody dare suggest anything controversial, so much wringing of hands and pearl clutching.

Quite alarming actually.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Thu 04-Oct-12 12:09:54

I had this OP....I felt afraid. I made myself send both DDs to school. It's a natural reaction an you need to just remember that we're all extra vigilant now.

Pandemoniaa Thu 04-Oct-12 12:11:05

*My opinion is that it is self indulgent and I dislike it intensly.
It is worse now than it has ever been. People are no longer content with feeling for a family in a terrible situation.
They have to tell the world how awful they feel and how it is affecting them.*

Absolutely yes.

Compassion should never be confused with the sort of over-indulgent and, quite frankly, crass tragedy transference that seems to manifest itself every time a genuinely awful thing happens to others.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 04-Oct-12 12:11:50

What MrsDeVere said. Giving your child an extra hug and feeling a bit more grateful to have them safe and sound: normal. Feeling very sorry for the missing girl's family and praying that she will be found today: normal. Turning it into something that's all about you: weird and attention-seeking behaviour.

If you're unhappy with your child's nursery then take steps to sort it out or withdraw them and send them somewhere else.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 04-Oct-12 12:12:37

Why do we all need to be extra vigilant now? Our DC's are no more at risk of stranger abduction today than they were yesterday or last week or next year. FFS. Children are most likely to be harmed by someone they know. Oh and unles you live in Machynlleth and the perpetrator has yet to be caught what exactly are you going to be vigillant for?

AnastasiaSteele Thu 04-Oct-12 12:14:02

You would be unreasonable yes. Are you an anxious person generally? It seems so if it's affecting you to this degree.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Thu 04-Oct-12 12:15:05

hobnobs WHERE did I say we NEEDED to be extra vigilant?? I said "We're all extra vigilant"

Which most parents ARE because this kind of thing is firghtening.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 04-Oct-12 12:15:46

No, I am generally vigilant with my children. Current circumstances do not require extra vigilance.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 04-Oct-12 12:16:33

"We're all extra vigilant" Why? and no we aren't all, I am not.

merlincat Thu 04-Oct-12 12:17:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PostBellumBugsy Thu 04-Oct-12 12:17:46

hobnob, I agree we don't have to be extra vigilent - but it has made me think about how late the DCs can play outside, how far away from the house they can play & I will definitely be re-iterating the "don't get into anyone's car" message.
I don't think measured reflection is a bad thing - just shouldn't become panicy scare-mongering. Sadly, the press has alot to answer for, as they are always looking to sensationalize these kind of stories and that scares the life out of alot of people and they then panic & think that their child is no longer safe at nursery - IFYSWIM.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 04-Oct-12 12:18:42

Stranger abduction is rare beyond belief.

Chubfuddler Thu 04-Oct-12 12:22:09

Why does everyone suffer from an "anxiety disorder" these days? Some people are just OTT. It's not a disorder (unless of course some contributors to this thread have met the op in person and are psychiatrists qualified to make such an assessment).

And what mrsdv said.

dolcegusto123 Thu 04-Oct-12 12:22:31

I do understand but I think that yabu.

Saying that I do however sometimes have
irrational thoughts that my dc will manage to 'escape' from school and will go missing

MadameCupcake Thu 04-Oct-12 12:24:48

If you are remotely worried about his safety at nursery then you should serously think about moving him - I don't really think this has any relevance with a child being abducted when playing outside alone. I would not have had ANY issues leaving DCs at nursery or school in any circumstances.

What I wouldn't do is let my 5 year old out without adult supervision.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 12:27:48

The OP is asking should she keep her child off nursery because she is thinking about this child.
So I would pretty much lump that in with the whole sob feat thing.and as for this site being full of 'them', you are unlikely to see me on a dedicated thread unless it is to express a brief message of support or to offer practical advice.
Any over emotional utterances from me will be regarding just one more person wailing 'my OH is really worried about ME, it's like losing one of my OWN, I can't stop torturing MYSELF'

Yes yes because you care so much more than the rest of us. You care so much that you have to spend every waking minute thinking about how this is making YOU feel ffs.

But as you put it captain I am probably just one of those cold types

MadameCupcake Thu 04-Oct-12 12:28:06

I do think it is normal for people to feel sad for the families going through these awful things, I can't understand how you wouldn't really especially if you have children yourself - I find some of the comments on here a bit odd.

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