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To have told him i can't have sex?

(147 Posts)
janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 10:08:31

I've got myself into a situation. I've been chatting to this bloke for a few weeks on fb and by text. He's someone i used to know a while back but don't really know him that well.

We planned to meet and i may have led him on a bit. Due to circumstances i thought meeting up wouldn't be for a while and i could have lots of wine and it would be dark.

Now he wants to take the day off and come over tomorrow! In the daylight! He's younger than me by quite a bit and is fit in more ways than one. I'm not in any way!

There's no way i can have sex with him in the daylight without wine with only a day to prepare! I'd need a new outfit and my hair, eyebrows and nails done and a hedge trimmer

I've just sent him a message basically saying that i know i might have led him on but i can't have sex with someone I've just met. That i do really like him but think coffee might be best.

He's been constantly texting me all day and now he's gone quiet.

NowThenNowThen Thu 04-Oct-12 14:59:25

Marking place! You know, its all this texting nonsense that gets us into trouble.
But yeah, you don't have to shag him him until you actually want to !
And how you feel is more important than how you look. Men pick up on confidence and if you feel sexy, they think you are. Jedi mind trick !

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:04:19

Yes i know i'm going to have to tell him before tomorrow. I can't find a picture to put on facebook!

We're going out for lunch in the town between us so we're meeting in the middle.

I know what you mean about feeling confident, i've got so little self confidence at the moment that i'm sure it shows. Mind you after a couple of glasses of wine i do. Second date if i don't scare him off will have to involve lots of wine i think. Another problem is he's got it into his head that i am this confident older woman and i'm not.

Feckbox Thu 04-Oct-12 15:08:06

daddy I am glad to hear there are others as shallow as me grin

Feckbox Thu 04-Oct-12 15:09:06

Jan do you actually WANT to meet him? or do you feel you have to because you agreed to when drunk?
Because you don't have to meet him if you don't want to. Sorry if I am stating the obvious!

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:12:14

So what the hell do i say then to tell him? By the way do you know i'm fat? Last time i saw him he was with his girlfriend at the time who was a bit chubby. Not as chubby as me mind!

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:13:32

No i do want to meet him ,i really like him and could do with some fun at the moment.

Numberlock Thu 04-Oct-12 15:17:11

How many dress sizes difference are we talking since you last saw him?

If I were you, I'd text him a pic and say "Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, just sending you a recent pic so you'll recognise me after all this time".

I am glad to hear there are others as shallow as me

I don't think it's shallow to want to know what the person you're meeting up with looks like, how tall they are, etc. I've also done internet dating and been 'surprised' by the difference in RL and the pic on their profile.

Numberlock Thu 04-Oct-12 15:19:29

We're going out for lunch in the town between us so we're meeting in the middle

That sounds like a good plan. I really hope things work out well and you have a nice time.

To ease the nerves, have a mental list of stuff to talk about in case the conversation dries up.

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:21:26

It's probably 3-4 dress sizes sad

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 15:22:20

blush You know, I'm not totally ALL about the looks either. I just don't like the surprise factor! If you provide me with photographic evidence that you have all your teeth, lots of hair and are able to see your own willy (i.e. no massive beer gut) then that's what I expect to turn up otherwise you are a liar AND wasting my time!

/rant grin

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:24:21

If he'd remembered meeting me in the pub it would be 1-2.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 15:24:33

Numberlock, I agree and also think that that is a great idea!

jan, you sound like you need a wee but of sensitive handling, so best to get the issue out of the way before you both make an effort to meet. It might be awkward otherwise and you'll be wasting both your time.

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:28:08

But what do i say? If he'd remembered meeting me in the pub then it wouldn't be so bad.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 15:29:29

Just say something like - 'really looking forward to seeing you again, it's been so long so here is a most recent pic so that you recognise me'!

Numberlock Thu 04-Oct-12 15:32:32

From what you've said he sounds like a decent bloke. Just text him the pic with my suggested wording and I'm sure it will be fine.

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 15:39:09

Yeah but i don't want him to see my rough as badgers arse working from home daytime look!

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 15:56:06

Do you have a fairly recent photo from a night out or the likes?

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 16:15:07

Yes i do and they're on fb in my tagged photos so he might have seen them actually if he's gone looking. They're all blury though due to the person taking them being slightly very drunk.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 16:29:21

Aha! There you go then. Chances are he'll have seen them and already knows. I hope you have a lovely time tomorrow! Come and let us know how you get one smile

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 16:30:11

I've just been looking through my fb and actually there are a few pics on there that you can tell i'm not a skinny minny. There's even one of me with no make up that must have made it through because it had my cute kitten in it. There's also a pic of me and ex that is far from flattering.

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 16:32:45

Thanks i'm still going to mention it tonight just in case he hasn't gone through every single picture of mine like i have his.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 16:39:02

Yes, men quite often aren't just as nosy curious as us when it comes to online stalking socialising.

I can thoroughly recommend younger men, too. Have a smashing time.

Solo Thu 04-Oct-12 16:40:10

Come and let us know how you get one smile Was that a typo daddy? grin

janflan Thu 04-Oct-12 16:44:36


Right so we have a day (tomorrow) and a place and a time and i have a new outfit and underwear. Once kids are in bed i am going to beautify myself and get some work done so i can skive off guilt free.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 04-Oct-12 17:07:28

HAHA! Freudian slip wink

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