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To think that the bullying culture on MN can be a bit much....

(1000 Posts)
tjah04 Thu 04-Oct-12 08:50:11

Having been a member of MN since 2003 I have seen and read some disgusting comments from other members particuarly on this board.

I am starting to think that some of these people must be very sad and insecure.

Some of the names that are called are disgusting and I am sure that these people would never go up to someone in RL and call them that.

And do not get me started on the "I am better than you because I can spell" attitude which seems to be the final insult if all else fails.

Other comments include

"troll" "Oh not another thread" etc.

It is cyber bullying at the end of the day and as mothers shouldn't we all just grow up a bit? The MN team do a great job of deleting such posts but often the OP has seen it and the damage is already done.

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 04-Oct-12 09:45:06

Yes, my response works best.

Yours implies that the OP's goady post is reasonable and stirs up even more shit.

You said you wanted direct.

wisden Thu 04-Oct-12 09:45:30

^There's room for silly, you know. And funny. Many, many threads - particularly on Aibu - simply cry out for their pomposity to be punctured or to be ribbed.
Nobody does it in relationships or health for a reason - that would be wrong.^

I agree with this^^

Pagwatch Thu 04-Oct-12 09:45:33

That's the issue LRD exactly!

These threads achieve nothing because everyone immediately feels criticised and because so many people complaint about bullying are just being told with some unanimity that they are wrong so they get humpy.

And it makes me want to Thump my head against the table because the answer to bullying when you see it is to say something then or report it.

If there is anything worse than bullying it is saying nothing, choosing not to report and then starting a whiny thread to try and seem like a paragon of virtue.

EdMcDunnough Thu 04-Oct-12 09:45:41

Erm, have I stirred up any shit? Where?

wisden Thu 04-Oct-12 09:45:51

{angry] fecking itallics

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 04-Oct-12 09:46:09

Frankly, if the OP has been here since 2003 and decides to bugger off on the strength of people taking the piss out of her for whining about a bullying culture on a thread-about-a-thread, she probably needs a break, as she'd know these threads always piss people off.

wisden Thu 04-Oct-12 09:46:14

FFS angry fecking smilies

BigStickBIWI Thu 04-Oct-12 09:46:26

I really disagree that we have to engage positively and politely with every OP. That would be hugely patronising. Rather like a primary school teacher who has to consider every word that drops from a child's lips as if was a pearl of wisdom.

We are grown-ups. If you post something daft/unpleasant/stupid/goading, then expect a robust and direct - or even mocking reply.

But this is not bullying.

Pagwatch Thu 04-Oct-12 09:46:51

Porcamiseria. There is definitely piling in. Yes indeed.

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 04-Oct-12 09:46:56

You said that much more nicely than me, pag.

(See, why can't I be more like pag? sad)

thebody Thu 04-Oct-12 09:47:10

Posters who correct spellings and grammar are a tad wankerish and just make everyone think they are patronising twats.

Posters who are friends in RL, well it's not a crime but personally if they keep up the in jokes and chatter I just scroll over the posts as obviously its a bit boring for the rest if us but if they like it that's no problem.

If you post on AIBU and are effectively told yes you are then don't complain... Opinions are robust.

Delicate plants don't post here. Also sense of humour needed.

GoSakuramachi Thu 04-Oct-12 09:47:12

Oh god, again?
Can we have a sign at the top of the page that says "Someone calling you a twatbadger is not bullying you".

Its so fucking juvenile. Enrich your vocabulary. Someone being rude to you is being rude, not bullying you. Someone disagreeing forcefully is not bullying you. This victim mentality is pathetic. And dull.

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:47:34

See, it IS all about tone and style.

If one did an op like this:

I love MN, it is warm, funny and helpful but I am wondering lately if we are all as kind as can be. I know it's dull going over the same old same old etc, but let us reach out and love newbies and all be kind to each other and share the love.

You'd get a much better response.

I also think most of the so-called pack mentality comes from the dull and frankly stupid, not those of us who like to lark about. We are generally kind unless confronted by an op like this.
So ner.

EdMcDunnough Thu 04-Oct-12 09:47:34

LRD I prefer to see it as calling their bluff.

Taking it at face value will often puncture the tyres on something false before it takes off at all.

Taking the piss just gives the OP a chance to blame us.

BigStickBIWI Thu 04-Oct-12 09:49:01

... and the OP, having goaded, has done a 'post and run'. Quelle surprise.

MaryZed Thu 04-Oct-12 09:49:18

<marks place before thread disappears and saves to read later>

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:49:42

No Ed, witness the couple of threads yesterday, if people take it at face value, the op is DELIGHTED - all that attention for pages and pages

BigStickBIWI Thu 04-Oct-12 09:50:02


I am so much of a pedant, I just had to Google to check that I'd got my French right ... <twats self>

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:50:05

Ah, but Ed, you still think the op is genuine, don't you?


LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 04-Oct-12 09:50:14

Fair enough, ed, I can see what you're getting at. But I don't agree that it works.

I think it just makes people feel paranoid that there is something nasty going on and they've not seen it/they want to know about it.

Sometimes there is some kind of ruck going on, but I hate the innuendo about them.

OhChristFENTON Thu 04-Oct-12 09:50:16

Maryz, you've got your Zed on - how lovely you look in it today.

MaryZed Thu 04-Oct-12 09:50:37

What GoSakuramachi said, with the addition of "especially if you are being a twatbadger".

I am being very nice these days, even to trolls and sockpuppets, and mnhq still won't give me a badge. It is vair upsetting.

tjah04 Thu 04-Oct-12 09:51:16

Not at all.The reason why I name changed was because very recently I was called a dyslexic C*nt on here for spelling something incorrectly.

I was so embarrassed by the tone the thread took from a simple question that I asked that I named changed. Family and friends do use this site and I was embarrassed.

Very open to people disagreeing with me on this as we all are entitled to our opinions. And that is how it should be.

Say you do not agree but do not name call me. That is a personal attack and is unfair.

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:51:19

Ed, serious point, if you really want to have a serious discussion about the point, start a genuine thread about it?

MaryZed Thu 04-Oct-12 09:51:45

Thank you Fenton. I had to correct some fuckwit Bonkey who was pronouncing me in her head with a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, which is frankly NOT ON.

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