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To think that the bullying culture on MN can be a bit much....

(1000 Posts)
tjah04 Thu 04-Oct-12 08:50:11

Having been a member of MN since 2003 I have seen and read some disgusting comments from other members particuarly on this board.

I am starting to think that some of these people must be very sad and insecure.

Some of the names that are called are disgusting and I am sure that these people would never go up to someone in RL and call them that.

And do not get me started on the "I am better than you because I can spell" attitude which seems to be the final insult if all else fails.

Other comments include

"troll" "Oh not another thread" etc.

It is cyber bullying at the end of the day and as mothers shouldn't we all just grow up a bit? The MN team do a great job of deleting such posts but often the OP has seen it and the damage is already done.

TanteRose Thu 04-Oct-12 08:54:14

Ooh, what are some the disgusting names you have noticed <takes notes>


amillionyears Thu 04-Oct-12 08:56:02

It would be a good idea if the notes that MN post at the beginning of this particular board included some sort of extra warning about what you have just written.

SheelaNeGig Thu 04-Oct-12 08:56:05

Whats a disgusting name? Edna? Troy? Wankbadger?

CrackerJackShack Thu 04-Oct-12 08:56:27

Welcome to the internet....Keyboard warriors exist on every forum.

Portofino Thu 04-Oct-12 08:56:34

I have not noticed that people get called rude names, not even in AIBU. Unless we are talking MRA type trolls and the like.

qo Thu 04-Oct-12 08:56:34

Tante rose, I saw "retard" on a thread the other night, which is disgusting. I stepped in as I felt so sorry for the OP.

I see the same names cropping up over again, sometimes it feels like they're actively waiting to rip someone to pieces - there is seriosuly no need amongst grown adults EVEN if you disagree or think the op is BU.

MikeLitoris Thu 04-Oct-12 08:56:54

I must have a different idea of what constitutes bullying. I have seen some questionable comments and some childish name calling, but bullying? Not so much.

wisden Thu 04-Oct-12 08:57:15

The only thing I really don't like is the "oh not another thread about this". I think that is crap because posters also get told off if they bump an old thread so they can't win if they want to discuss something. Having said that when it is the eleventy millionth thread about the same topic in the same week then I think OP deserves a <popcorn> / <dons hard hat> (much as I hate both those expressions).

I disagree with calling it cyber bullying though. Calling a poster a cunt once or twice is not IMHO bullying. It is merely calling them a cunt.

I also agree with having a go at posters about their spelling etc, it just seems to be an easy way to disregard that posters point and make themselves look better. On the other hand it does bug me to see bad spelling etc but unless a poster was being really obhnoxious and a cunt then I wouldn't point it out.

qo Thu 04-Oct-12 08:58:28

I've also noticed people getting picked apart for semantics and wording - even if it is clear what they actually meant, that one point can de-rail a whole thread.

tjah04 Thu 04-Oct-12 09:01:33

I think it becomes cyber bullying when a poster uses said language against an OP and then many others send smiley faces and such like to that person.

I agree that you will get that on the web but sometimes it goes a little too far.

StuntGirl Thu 04-Oct-12 09:07:43

I've never seen bullying Standard forum disagreements which sometimes include name calling, but it's just the nature of the beast innit?

StuntGirl Thu 04-Oct-12 09:08:42

Oh and to call it a 'bullying culture' is ridiculous and OTT.

sookiesookie Thu 04-Oct-12 09:09:31

I think it would be better to confront this when its happening. Either call the name caller on it or report to mnhq.

I actually disagree that it bullying.

qo Thu 04-Oct-12 09:12:36

I disagree that it's a bullying culture, but there is bullying mentality lurking here among a lot of posters. I actually cringe when I see grown adults behaving in that way - one-up-man-ship, picking on small points,over-exaggerated comparisons, spelling snobbery etc. It does happen, it happens a lot.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 04-Oct-12 09:13:06

The things you describe are not bullying. Using that word belittles the experiences of real bullying victims.

Troll hunting and name calling are against the rules, and MNHQ will delete posts that don't follow the rules, but this is the big wide Internet and reading posts like that are a risk we take when we click on a website that invites comments from the public.

I'd much rather use a website where the ocassional nasty post came up than one where real converstaion and debate couldn't take place because people were prevented from giving their views.

LilyCocoplatt Thu 04-Oct-12 09:14:09

It can be quite nasty sometimes IMO, however MNHQ seem to be pretty on the ball with regards to warning persistent offenders and banning them if they ignore the warnings, if you see posts that you think are bullying then report them to MNHQ because they won't do anything about it without someone hitting the report button.

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:15:34

It is DISCUSTING it makes me so so angry and foamy and frothy.

What was it again?

tjah04 Thu 04-Oct-12 09:16:03

Bullying is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others (Wilkpedia)

A person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people
(English Dictionary)

The point is, it is not if you think you are bullying, it is whether the person on the receiving end feels intimidated ot not.

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:16:31

May I just congratulate you on beginning your post with an ablative absolute?

Good show.

Hullygully Thu 04-Oct-12 09:17:10

So using dictionary definitions to win a point is different from pointing out spelling errors?


qo Thu 04-Oct-12 09:20:13

Yes Hully it is different, they are two separate things.

Hopeforever Thu 04-Oct-12 09:20:40

The comments on people's spelling and use of the English language get my goat. You would not ridicule or correct someone's disability in RL or make fun of their ethnic group. This is playground behaviour

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 04-Oct-12 09:21:02

'as mothers'?

Are mothers notably santified by the experience?

Caerlaverock Thu 04-Oct-12 09:21:35

Hully you are an absolute ablative

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