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Is this rude?

(119 Posts)
DesperatelySeekingPomBears Thu 04-Oct-12 08:28:43

Just for the record, I know its a small problem etc etc but I was just wondering if anyone would think this was an okay thing to do.

NDNs are generally lovely, friendly etc. However recently DP got rid of his car and, while he looks for another one, he is taking mine to work.

We have a double driveway and every morning, as soon as DP leaves for work, NDN puts his wife's car onto our drive. Right up against the garage doors. Every morning.

Now, I can see that this makes things easier for them as they park one behind the other on their single drive so it prevents them having to juggle cars. However, they never ask which I find... Well... A bit rude to be honest.

AIBU to think they could ask to make sure I don't need to be in my garage or that I'm not expecting visitors?

YouMayLogOut Fri 05-Oct-12 20:36:47

Unbelievably cheeky of them to use your drive as their own personal car park! It doesn't matter whether or not it's an "inconvenience", it's your property and they should be asking you politely and apologetically, any time they want to stick their car on there!

Get yourself a telescopic bollard.

BlueSkySinking Fri 05-Oct-12 20:29:11

You need a fried to visit a few times and just block them in while they are in your space. Maybe go for a walk or something at the time they might be leaving?

HappyHippyChick Fri 05-Oct-12 20:20:29

Some of the things that I read on MN make me very aware of how sheltered I am from all the total loons that populate this country!

Mumblepot26 Fri 05-Oct-12 20:10:08

Are you sure they haven't asked your dp, and he has forgotten to mention it?

Jacksmania Fri 05-Oct-12 19:48:28

So? What's happened? Has big and scary and hunky DH had a word?

DesperatelySeekingPomBears Fri 05-Oct-12 14:35:53

Wow carabos, you make our neighbours seem positively saintly.

I'm just not very good at dealing with neighbour disputes. In our last house the whole cul de sac were wonderful. To be honest, if the house and landlord hadn't been so awful we'd never have moved.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Fri 05-Oct-12 14:29:17


carabos Fri 05-Oct-12 14:23:27

plutocrat Don't worry, he's got plenty of neighbour disputes to deal with - just none of them started by us wink. What he doesn't realise is that everyone within about 10 houses of his is either totally intimidated by him (handy with his fists and his DW is the archetypical fishwife) or is making a complaint about them to whatever is the relevant authority for the current issue every verse end.

Most entertaining ones were when he built a stockade around the very small front garden and block paved it - we live in a conservation area so no sooner had this massive fence gone up then everyone opposite was onto the council (parish clerk being one of them grin). A week later he took it down and to this day he thinks it was us - too thick to realise that as we are the only people in the street who couldn't actually see it unless we were outside, then we hadn't bothered grin.

Another entertaining one, and related to the fence, was that his DW decided she was going to be a childminder. Turned out the fence was to create a safe play area, however, not having the benefit of complying to any of the requirements for CM - didn't register being the least of it, the children stopped coming after a few days, presumably when their mothers discovered that they were in fact simply leaving their pfbs with some random stranger grin grin.

He thinks we were behind that too. And don't get me started on his behaviour toward the family from Ivory Coast who arrived a couple of years ago and live on his other side...

plutocrap Fri 05-Oct-12 14:14:07

Bloody hell, carabos!

Why don't you use their ownership against them, though? Raise some neighbour disputes with them, which they will have to disclose if they ever sell!

carabos Fri 05-Oct-12 14:09:41

Our NDNs are like this, right down to the "we own, you rent, you have fewer rights than us" attitude. The first day we moved in here neighbours both sides came round to tell us exactly where we could and couldn't park - funny thing is though, its a terrace house and all parking is on the public highway hmm. So they were in fact trying to ensure that they could park outside their houses and ours and we could park? - well elsewhere.

Then a random guy from the houses behind who had his own drive but didn't want to put a vehicle on it came round shouting the odds that we couldn't park at the back of the house either because he needed what would sensibly be our space for his van.

We took no notice of any of them and park on the street just like everyone else, but that didn't stop them banging on the door day and night and telling us that because we are tenants we had "no right" to park there.

One of them, as someone else suggested upthread is very territorial. He "patrols" the area immediately around his house at the back (again this is the public highway) and makes life a misery for anyone in the street who strays beyond his imaginary boundaries. He works stacking shelves in the supermarket at the end of our road and takes his boundary issues to work with him - when DH goes in there, he rushes over and starts rearranging anything DH touches, standing as close to him as he can, while never making eye contact or saying anything.

He sneaks up to our kitchen window (open yard at the back) when he thinks I'm not there and peers in and comes up the front path to do the same at the front windows occasionally. He gets quite agitated if I have the washing out and flips up big items so they are wrapped around the line which runs parallel to the pavement at the back if they are flapping in the wind hmm.

There's more - we caught him climbing on the roof of the coal shed trying to push something into the overflow pipe from the loo one day and for the first few years we were here, his DW used to throw leftover food onto the coal shed roof "for the rats birds to get". we asked her time and again to throw it onto her own roof but she didn't want the mess...angry.

I could go on - good to get all that out though wink. Sorry to hijack.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Fri 05-Oct-12 13:36:35

I can't believe the cheek of them! And i can't believe you told them it wasn't an inconvenience! grin

I would retract that in a letter through their door.

Jusfloatingby Fri 05-Oct-12 13:30:46

They have some cheek. I would leave a few pot plants, kids bikes etc on the drive until they get the message.

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Fri 05-Oct-12 13:03:05

Strangely enough I've just been on another thread about using your neighbours bin and the consensus is diffeent. That said if you were on good terms with your neighbours and they were away for a period, I'd see no problem with using their drive, so I suppose that's the difference.

Emandlu Fri 05-Oct-12 11:29:28

Oooh, did someone mention a NE coffee morning wink
I can bring cake.

I really don't understand why people think they can use others property without asking - it beggars belief!

SecretCervix Fri 05-Oct-12 11:12:57

Wow, I am reading this thread in complete disbelief at the sheer rudeness of some people, they have some brass balls don't they?

I'm an angry hormonal person (pregnant) and would have no problem storming round and biting her head off, I cannot STAND rude people and would give her a massive piece of my mind.

Oh can I OP, can I, can I, can I????? grin

Bluebell99 Fri 05-Oct-12 11:09:09

I have had a similar issue with my neighbours. They decided to landscape their front garden so I had two months of having to ask their builders to move as every day they blocked me in with a van. Then one day I came home to find they had parked a trailer in one of my spaces, the builder with attitude told me that my neighbour had said it would be okay. "did he now" i said, as I knocked on his door, and he answered with a cheery hello. He soon found out it wasn't okay. Still fumming about it now. He sent his wife round to apologise. I still can't believe the cheek of them though, as I would never in a million years park in one of their spaces!

CaptainVonTrapp Fri 05-Oct-12 11:01:53

The cheek of some people!

Go and get something out of the garage again today. Before you go practice saying outloud "It is inconvenient actually, can you use your own drive". Repeat the garage trips until they get the message.

streakybacon Fri 05-Oct-12 10:54:50

You need irregular, unannounced coffee mornings wink. And afternoons. For everyone you know (and some that you don't).

I'm in the NE - shall I bring scones?

BlueSuedeStiletto Fri 05-Oct-12 10:52:36

Blimey, people are very very odd about parking. I think in people's heads if they've been doing something for a while it becomes their right.

I really like the idea of one of those 'police aware' signs. That's brilliant. I also like the massive inflatable pumpkin.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears Fri 05-Oct-12 10:33:52

I'm quite liking the idea of a posse of northern MNers

Ithinkitsjustme Fri 05-Oct-12 10:23:34

Or drive round for 10 minutes and when they have parked, block them in with your new car - which they won't recogise

Ithinkitsjustme Fri 05-Oct-12 10:22:17

A few nails on the drive on a regular basis might do the trick grin

TandB Fri 05-Oct-12 10:17:09

And I am a small Geordie and would be more than happy to put on my best accent and form a northern posse with your husband. I am quote arsey on occasion.....

TandB Fri 05-Oct-12 10:16:03

How weird and rude.

I think you just need to bug em into submission if you don't want an all out fight about it.

Just go round every time they put it there and say 'please can you move your car". With no explanation or reason. They will inevitably say 'why?' and you just say 'because it is on my drive' with a puzzled look on your face. Don't give them any reasons or excuses - that is just creating an opening for negotiation or argument. Just absolutely factual every time. Move your car. Because it is on my drive.

Irritate them enough and it won't be worth their while to keep doing it.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears Fri 05-Oct-12 10:05:59

Literally snorting with laughter at some of the suggestions on here. I'm tempted most by the for sale sign...

That or I'm seriously considering hopping the garden fence and going for a bounce on their new, ginormous trampoline.

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