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To have told him they cant stay?

(67 Posts)
Leaveitalready Wed 03-Oct-12 19:16:31

I live in an area which traditionally makes fireworks night a huge deal. Theres a carnival type thing in the evening, and several fireworks display with one main. Last year 60,000 people attended. My house is a stones throw away from the main fireworks and my front door is where these 60,000 people go past to get to it.
My road is closed off for the night and as you can imagine, its mayhem. The displays stop at 10-11ish but people let bangers off left right and centre all night.

With two young children very scared of fireworks, each year I upsticks for the night and take them elsewhere. No problem.

Except today my partner who does not live with me said he was going to the display this year. No problem!

But can his 25 year old niece and her bf of 3 months crash in my front room.
Because they want to come and they live an hour away.
I said no chance. And he thinks Im really unfair.

My reasons - I dont want to leave my home but I have to. I dont want anyone else in my home when its my children and I that should be in it.

I dont want 3 muddy, pissed people falling through my door. One of which is a perfect stranger.

I dont want a young, new couple potentially fucking on the floor where my children play.

I dont mind DP staying but not the others. AIBU like DP thinks?

Disclaimer, my children and DP's children too. So he gets the night off.

(For the nosey people who want to know, we dont live together because we split up for 18 months a few years ago and currently wating for both our tennancys to expire and were moving in together again.)

StuntGirl Thu 04-Oct-12 19:29:53

I think you're unreasonable and a bit mad but it's your house and your mind is clearly made up.

And why do you think they'll be shagging on the floor? Don't you have sofas? <wonders>

DowagersHump Thu 04-Oct-12 19:20:17

I think you should buy some of those disposable dust sheets and cover the living room in them grin

Sorry, umm, no idea really. It wouldn't bother me but I let people stay in my house all the time when we're not here. It's when we are here that I don't like it

JustSpiro Thu 04-Oct-12 19:14:52

Could your DP get an inflatable mattress for them to kip on and ask them to bring their own bedding?

TBH I think YAB a bit U, but as someone else said upthread 'your home, your rules'.

BlueSkySinking Wed 03-Oct-12 23:26:33

Your DP will be present, so unless you really don't trust the kids, let them stay.

doinmummy Wed 03-Oct-12 22:25:03

Exactly Chaotic. Why would they want to shag and smear jizz on your best Wilton when they could do it in your bed?

ChaoticismyLife Wed 03-Oct-12 22:05:50

YANBU If you don't feel comfortable with people staying when you're not there then you have every right to say no, sex or no.

Besides how do you know that they won't sleep in the DC's beds?

<puts cat among the pigeons emoticon>

GoldShip Wed 03-Oct-12 21:48:18

And for gods sake what is with the fixation on sex?!!

I'm quite sure they're not going to be shooting cum all over the show.

GoldShip Wed 03-Oct-12 21:44:33


I really don't see the problem. Don't you trust your partner? It's his family. If they've never done anything bad before its a bit unfair to judge them already, and on their age it would seem.

It is your house, and up to you, but you're still a bit unreasonable in your thinking.

cerealqueen Wed 03-Oct-12 21:41:18

If he is staying too, fine, YABU. Bit he should make sure it looks like nobody has stayed and have place all sorted.

If he isn't then no, I would not want people staying in my house when I am not there. YANBU.

YUNoSaySomethingNice Wed 03-Oct-12 20:57:52

Ok, if the only reason you dont want them to stay is the shagging then you could go to a carpet off cut shop and buy a very cheap off cut of carpet ( Although you might want to avoid shag Carpets grin )

And tell them they have to bring sleeping bags. Problem solved!

You would then have no rational reason for them not to stay.

Leaveitalready Wed 03-Oct-12 20:49:19

Yes, I was a little miffed at the total assumption that it would be me taking the kids elsewhere while he buggered off out with his niece. I dont mind taking the kids away as such. It was just the assumption of it.

Thats not the reason Im saying no though, because that didnt dawn on me until tonight.

SuperB0F Wed 03-Oct-12 20:45:16

You absolutely do not have to let your house out as a crash pad. It wouldn't bother me too much though, but I think I'd want the pill sugared by said Z-lister or your DP paying for a nice B&B for you so you didn't have to sleep on somebody else's floor.

Leaveitalready Wed 03-Oct-12 20:44:06

No, I do not think anyone is going to turn my living room into a porno. I dont think Alfie Bear and Sophie Giraffe would make a good background.

fatfingers Wed 03-Oct-12 20:38:35

So, when you say she is a z list celeb and it would not be anon, do you mean that she might shag in your living room and film it?

Pandemoniaa Wed 03-Oct-12 20:38:29

When I lived, very handily right on the procession routes in a town that has already been mentioned, I was careful about how hospitable I was. Because at events of this sort, it is very easy to discover rather too many (completely unknown) people have also availed themselves of your facilities.

So no, YANBU especially if you aren't going to be there.

Leaveitalready Wed 03-Oct-12 20:35:24

On the carpet, on the sofa where ever they leave it.

LineRunner Wed 03-Oct-12 20:33:37

It's the stranger's jizz remains on the actual carpet, isn't it?

perfectstorm Wed 03-Oct-12 20:33:26

And plastic is wipeable with these, too. grin).

perfectstorm Wed 03-Oct-12 20:31:59

Here you go. Kingsize and everything.

perfectstorm Wed 03-Oct-12 20:30:34

I could completely understand this if your DP weren't present - I'd worry about damage to the house with drunken youngsters. But she's 25, not 17. And the father of your kids, and the man you plan to live with again in the near future, will be there. So I just don't understand.

Is your house a newbuild, incidentally? Because if not, there will have been plenty of action in various rooms over the years.

Tell DH if he buys a double blow-up mattress and washes the sheets afterwards, then fine.

I must be really scummy. I don't give a monkeys who shags in our sofabed, or who did in our spare room before having DS. It's just sex. They haven't had a crap in it.

margerykemp Wed 03-Oct-12 20:29:12

Can't you just have a no sex rule or insist they sleep separately?

Leaveitalready Wed 03-Oct-12 20:28:38

sofaking no way am I going an hour away!! Why would I?

My kids have school first thing in the morning to start with.

Leaveitalready Wed 03-Oct-12 20:27:10

Yes Z-list celebs do include them.

They would be staying in the living room. Theres no bed in there, theres no sheets I can wash, or quilt that can be stripped.

Of COURSE I dont mind my kids staying in clean beds that previously werent clean.

But there is no bed in my living room. I dont actually have any idea what DP was thinking.

SofaKing Wed 03-Oct-12 20:25:37

If they live an hour away can you and DC go to their house and swap for the night?

Then if you get back and find they haven't shagged on your floor, you can phone them and tell them they should ON NO ACCOUNT use the cucumber in the fridge grin

YUNoSaySomethingNice Wed 03-Oct-12 20:22:43

Despite my earlier posts, i have to say I respect you for doing what you want in your own home. smile

even if you are wrong and a bit of a meany

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