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AIBU to think there are a lot of posters outraged by benign/factual observations?

(40 Posts)
Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:09:39

Just a little note to the professionally outraged Mumsnetters who object to people commenting on their bump size, the age gap of their kids, how small/tall their children are, what they're wearing etc etc....

People aren't actually particularly interested in your pregnancy/family planning/child's development/sartorial choices - they are making polite conversation. A huge majority of the time it is not meant as an insult. It is a passing - possibly inane - comment.

I think a few people need to see past their own noses. Or grow thicker skins.

Anniegetyourgun Wed 03-Oct-12 15:10:35


NolaFfing Wed 03-Oct-12 15:11:11


It must be exhausting.

Pagwatch Wed 03-Oct-12 15:12:30

What's wrong with my nose?
Are you saying my skin looks thin?


Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:12:35

Nola - yes exhausting. Can't work out if they are bored and exaggerating a situation to make up an AIBU or are genuinely offended by things THAT REALLY REALLY DON'T MATTER.

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:12:53

It's a little on the skinny side, yes, Pagwatch

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Wed 03-Oct-12 15:14:03

Yeah but if you rid MN of stuff that really doesn't matter, the forum would collapse.

Psammead Wed 03-Oct-12 15:15:41

Totally depends.

'Ooh, when are you due? You look like you don't have long to go!' v. 'You are massive! Is there something wrong with the baby? But then again, you are a big girl, aren't you?'

I have had both. Polite conversation is always welcome. It's not always polite and does not always invite conversation.

Pagwatch Wed 03-Oct-12 15:19:53


I bet you are an elderly, child kissing old cowbag.

When I was pregnant first time I was gnormous. I used to want people to notice. I was hopelessly excited about being pregnant and treated my huge bump like some kind of badge of honour.
I was always a bit let down if I didn't get a few 'fucking hell, you're huge' comments.
I also liked people rubbing my bump

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 03-Oct-12 15:22:52

Move your nose, Pagwatch, I can't see the thread! Ah, that's better.

Do the 'professionally offended' get paid, as they are professionals?

<considers career change>

YANBU, OP - but it always depends on the context and/or how it is said. Some people make 'factual' comments in a way that can be quite hurtful, and then claim that they call a spade a spade etc.

Jusfloatingby Wed 03-Oct-12 15:27:36

Yes, some very precious types on here at times. Seem to go around with eyes all screwed up and slitty as they search desperately for things to get offended or self righteous about.

cumfy Wed 03-Oct-12 15:28:12

gringrin Pagwatch

I think she must be saying you have a huge conker.
I wouldn't stand for that, I just wouldn't.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Wed 03-Oct-12 15:29:28

I think a few people need to see past their own noses. Or grow thicker skins

A - bloody-men to that!!!!

Pascha Wed 03-Oct-12 15:33:07

I got "I love your bump, its cute, much smaller than my friend's and she's only due a week before you" from a mum at playgroup today confused Not sure whether to be offended on the friends behalf for being bigger than me, or offended on my own behalf for being too small, or just offended because my bump is cute...

Maybe I should just start a thread in AIBU which is the professionally offended's position?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Oct-12 15:33:16

YANBU but why limit the outrage to actual comments? What about the spookily telepathic AIBU-er use others' thoughts to get outraged? "... and the man walking past me in the street just looked at me and I knew the evil old git was thinking that my child/dog/hair-cut/handbag was a blight on society..."

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:34:48

Verm - yes true, of course there are a smattering of rude cowbags in this world. But some people don't seem to be able to sift the cowgags from the nicenormalbags.

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:36:33

Cogito - yes but the telepathically induced outrage is not as annoying as the big fat lie exaggerated scenario...

'Then this old woman elbowed by toddler out of the way and snapped 'Get your filthy bastard kids out of my way!'

DilysPrice Wed 03-Oct-12 15:36:53

I remember the MNer with one child who was mortally offended by her next door neighbour with two children commenting in passing, as she wrangled her DCs to school "gosh mornings must be so easy with only one".
And no, she wasn't emotionally scarred by secondary infertility, and her one child didn't have massive behavioural difficulties, she was just shocked that this total bitch (who had almost certainly had one of those nightmare mornings) had dared to state the bleeding obvious

Quenelle Wed 03-Oct-12 15:38:17

Same as Pagwatch, I enjoyed the attention when I was pregnant [needy]. I even didn't virtually explode when my boss felt my bump.

I like DS receiving attention from strangers and I love it when old people smile and talk to him. It was lovely when absolutely everyone used to comment on his gorgeous, fluffy, blond hair. Nobody has commented since his first haircut though <sniffs>

I have a theory that the people who claim to be offended by benign observations actually enjoy the attention and are pretending to be offended so they can get even more attention.

Pagwatch Wed 03-Oct-12 15:40:32

<<tears wind their way down Pags monumental nose and create creases in her translucent crepey skin>>

This whole thing is a nightmare for me as I seem to feel personally responsible for every awkward gap in conversation - its a curse. When terrified of saying nothing I can come out with some classics.

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:42:59

Quenelle - yes or it's a stealth boast: 'My dd has long, lustrous locks and a face that could launch a thousands ships - why THE HELL do people ONLY comment on her stunningly good looks and not her academic brilliance?'

Chandon Wed 03-Oct-12 15:43:42

but I LOVE those threads!

If it says: "AIBU to want to f&cking THUMP that woman for smiling at my child?" or "AIBU to want to RIP the head of b7tch TA for not moving DS up another reading level?!" I will click on it.

For entertainment value.

is that bad

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:44:44

Pag - actually could you just get of this thread as your nose is a fucking liability <reports to MNHQ Health & Safety Dept>

But that's what I mean about polite convo - we all do it and it is often a stream of inane consiousness and means precisely nothing.

NolaFfing Wed 03-Oct-12 15:45:04

I remember that thread Dilys. <1000 yard stare>

Jusfloatingby Wed 03-Oct-12 15:46:37

No Chandon. What would Mumsnet be without those precious, over analytical, taking themselves so seriously mums? It gives me a laugh as well.

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