To want to help my sister?(18 Posts)
Ok, so I know I'm not BU (well I hope not!) but I need some help if anybody can?
My sister was offered a place on training scheme in a medical setting. It was/is the chance to get into her dream career, which she studied very hard for at university. The only catch was that she had to relocate to London, 4 hours from our home town, and had just 6 weeks to do it.
She frantically started looking at properties but then a family member who already lives there, offered to put her up. They had another relative (on their side of the family) aready staying there but she was told they would be moving out soon. She offered to pay rent but said family member refused to accept any. She reasoned that if she was there she could look for a property while working on the training scheme (which is quite well paid).
I should also say that she has 3 DCs, 2 at school, 1 preschool, and it was agreed that my mum would have the elder 2 whie she found a new house and school for them, and the younger would stay with her at the famiy members house. She knew it would be hard but reasoned it would b worth it long term.
Everything was in place until just a few days before she was due to travel down, the family member rang and said that a family friend had left her husband and they had agreed to let them and their two teens stay indefinately (they were living abroad before). Also, their family member would still be staying. She was told she could still come but she would have the sofa. She felt she had no other option but to accept the offer and hope that she found somewhere ellse quickly.
She has just rung me in tears saying she can't take living there anymore. There are 11 people living in a 4 bed house and that nobody respects the agreed bedtime (as she has the living room to sleep in). She is exhausted doing all the commuting and part time study and has nowhere private to retreat to or do her uni work. Her 3 yr old DC is sleeping on the floor. But worse of all our family member's DP has made it very clear that she dislikes my Dsis and that she wants her out ASAP. I would even say the DP is bullying my Dsis.
She has found a house but it wont be available til December and she wants out now. I feel so helpless knowing how miserable she is and so far away from her close family and friends.
Does anybody know of any short term flat shares, B&Bs, hostels etc that I could look into for her?
Sorry this is so long, I guess I am ranting on her behalf a little as I'm pissed off with the way she is being treated. TIA.
Surely the university should help her with this? Has she been to see them?
Thanks for the replies.
She actually trains at a hospital full time except for one day where she attends uni doing a masters.
She has spoken to the council who were very rude apparently, and said that they couldn't help as she has made herself intentionally homeless (despite the fact that she had been offered a bedroom and was demoted to sofa with just days to spare).
She has asked the hospital to help but there is a long waiting list for family accomodation.
It's just so frustrating as she is trying her best to better herself and any agencies she has contact with say that perhaps this isn't the best time to do this. The opportunity will probably never arise again as they are cutting this training scheme from next year due to budget cuts.
I don't know if she's spoken to uni but I will suggest that to her so thankyou for that.
I would also suggest the uni. The hospital where I study has lots of accommodation that they offer to overseas drs on placements etc so it is a shame that they have absolutely nothing?
But uni is definitely a good option. They should have their own accommodation officer. And tell your dsis to keep her eye out on hospital and uni notice boards. There are always lots of house shares etc being advertised on these where I am (nowhere near London though I'm afraid). Your poor dsis, hope she gets sorted soon.
Yha st pauls do a tiny single room for 15 quid a night.2 weeks max. Might work as a temporary solution. Other yhas or youth hostels probably do something similar. Also spareroom.com and easy roommate.
Oh and also ask uni/hospital to circulate an appeal by email to all her year group/cohort? This happens quite a lot where I am.
Oh your poor sis! Could she put a note up on the uni noticeboard? At our uni there were always people looking for housemates. A room in a shared house sounds much better than where she is now.
Start with Uni, then try gumtree.
Are there house-sitting agencies in London?
Can someone else take DC1 for a while as I'm sure that's contributing to her stress?
The YHA sounds good!
What a shitty situation to be in!
Thank you all so much for the helpful replies. I will look into all of those for her.
I am so worried she might give up on her dream but I'm already feeling hopeful that we can find a solution for her.
I think things are complicated by her having her DC with her as it obviously will put some people off taking her on a flat share etc.
I don't think she would be willing to leave him at home too as she is desperately missing her elder DCs and she thinks he is too young to be away from her. Also, my mum isn't so young anymore and also works full time so might be asking too much of her to have all 3.
As I have never een in this situation before, I wasn't sure where to start the search for short term accomodation but there have been some brilliant suggestions so I will check all those out and also suggest she looks at notice boards and ask colleagues etc too.
Please don't let her give up. If I had listened to all the doubters I wouldn'tbe on my way to my dream career now. She was treated badly by your relative, but I have no doubt she can turn this around, especially with a lovely sister like you.
What area is the hospital in?
You can google "london short term rentals" and see if anything comes up?
Also for any londoners to be able to help, i think we need to know her max budget for rent...
Thanks again for the replies.
Thank you Mummyshappypills - I'm only doing what I know she would for me. I will keep encouraging her. We are very different as she has always been the ambitious one and I am so proud of her for doing this when a many people wouldn't.
She's based in the Royal Free and is looking at the Walthamstow (sp?) and Leightonstone (sp?) areas. She has found a house but it won't be available until December and the application hasn't gone through yet so I think she just wants to stay somewhere until she finds a permanent property (fingers crossed this one goes through ok).
Try spareroom, it's brilliant for things like this!
www.spareroom.co.uk/ Maybe she can find short term room share flat share here.
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