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AIBU threads are inviting judgment.

(22 Posts)
Mollydoggerson Wed 03-Oct-12 12:39:51

AIBU to think that all topics posted under AIBU are by their very nature requesting readers to make a judgment and to share their judgment?

Why then to people respond by saying, God you are so judgey .....

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Oct-12 13:16:12

YANBU grin And my other favourite is the AIBU-er that gets told YABU and retorts huffily that this was not an acceptable answer

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 03-Oct-12 13:22:09

And if a number of posters disagree with the OP, it automatically becomes a 'witchhunt'. confused Then the OP states that he/she is entitled to his/her opinion - while failing to realise that other posters are also entitled to their opinion.

TheVermiciousKnid Wed 03-Oct-12 13:23:13

So just to make it a bit easier (and in the interest of equality): You are all unreasonable. Every last one of you. I am judging you all.

grin

Pandemoniaa Wed 03-Oct-12 13:26:01

It gets very tiresome after a while. Because yes, the very act of asking whether you are unreasonable is an invitation to make a judgement. It's all the more tedious when the OP throws a "nest of vipers" strop halfway down the first page when they realise they aren't going to get a medal for their efforts.

Jahan Wed 03-Oct-12 13:43:50

and then everyone judges the op for being judgy hmm

ChaosTrulyReigns Wed 03-Oct-12 13:50:53

There ought to be a warning at the top of AIBU so sensitive flowers are prepared.

smile

cumfy Wed 03-Oct-12 13:51:13

Some seek judgement. Some seek fun.

Many seek support and either get supported or judged or both.

perfectstorm Thu 04-Oct-12 01:26:26

Chaos - the warning has now been removed. It's aimed at respondents, not OPs. (I found that out when referring someone to it in a lofty manner the other week. blush)

I do think some OPs get a weirdly hard time, though. You get posts where replies go off on bizarre tangents and start accusing the OP of something their own posts make clear they've not done. It's really odd when people start to project like that, and it happens surprisingly often.

perfectstorm Thu 04-Oct-12 01:27:15

Sorry, old warning was removed, new one is now aimed at us and not OPs.

SPsFanjoLovesItGangnamStyle Thu 04-Oct-12 01:32:21

The whole point of AIBU is to judge!

So therefore OP YABU and I now judge you for it

grin

izzyizin Thu 04-Oct-12 04:15:13

Quiche, anyone? grin

ripsishere Thu 04-Oct-12 05:40:35

Yes please, blue cheese and mushroom if you have it.

Snog Thu 04-Oct-12 05:56:45

We should have another topic called "reinforce how Reasonable I was in this situation" where only supportive posts are invited, for those who can't take criticism

SuePurblybilt Thu 04-Oct-12 07:27:54

Actually, no. AIBU threads should be inviting judgement, you're quite right.

Frequently they're actually health problems, musings on which pushchair to buy or random statements 'Wand Erection are a great band lol'.

>>>>>>> rest of topics that way, for those who can't find 'em.

halfnhalf Thu 04-Oct-12 07:46:29

what's also becoming really common is people coming on Chat with fairly trivial stuff (as that's what it's for) and then people posting comments along the line of 'this is so trivial, or a real 1st world problem, or get a life' etc as though the op really thought it was terribly important. It's not, it's a chat thread.

usualsuspect3 Thu 04-Oct-12 07:49:56

People should use the correct topics if they want support, if you point this out on an AIBU thread you will get told 'they can post where they like'

<sighs>

SuePurblybilt Thu 04-Oct-12 07:51:49

<also sighs>

It riles me more than is reasonable. AIBU? wink

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Thu 04-Oct-12 07:54:07

My favourite is if the op is bu. then gets upset. A certain few posters always pile in to these and advise the op "to ignore everyone, the are a bunch of harridans/vultures/bullies etc" and get a good old "you slaaaaaaag" thing going BUT never actually say whether the think the op was being unreasonable or not.

I'm on them and their ruse, I am, oh yes.

Hopeforever Thu 04-Oct-12 07:56:45

Are you for real ripishere, how can you eat blue cheese at this time in the morning?! I'd like egg and ham please.

Snog, your suggestion of a 'remind me how reasonable I am' topic would be a wonderful aid for those suffering insomnia, you could be providing a great service to all those sleepless mums on MN, could you ask MN towers?

Back to the thread, there is a fine line between everyone saying 'yabu' and a witch hunt. Sadly sometimes the poster has other issues going on in their life that are not revealed until half way through, such as their mum has just died or they have lost their job.

There should be a new warning on the page where you start a thread

"Only use this topic if you are emotionally strong. Please include in your OP any bereavements, illness or worries in your life as these should not be used half way through your thread as a way of making all those who say yabu bad"

ripsishere Thu 04-Oct-12 07:59:00

Hopeforever, excellent point regarding the recent trauma in your life warning.
I am in Kl, so it's about 3pm now.

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Thu 04-Oct-12 09:50:44

Hope

Agreed. But equally you can't penalise someone for providing a requested opinion based on the info given.

When the op later posts further info a poster may well say oh in that case UANBU, but will then get slated for being a bitch, as if she should have magically known the other mitigating circumstances the op failed to mention.

Same with ops "history" - why should every poster be expected to crib up on the back story. If the ops recently had a relationship breakdown for example, and asks AIBU to park on my neighbours drive as its nicer than mine? the two should be kept as separate issues.

A better disclaimer would be AIBU a place to be forthright - not a goady shit stirrer. Don't be a twat, please.

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