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To think other mothers should keep their traps shut

(157 Posts)
zozzle Wed 03-Oct-12 09:38:52

My kids usually arrive in the primary school playground for second bell or a few seconds later (first bell goes at 8.45am to tell kids to go leave playground and go into cloakrooms and hang bags up etc, second at 8.50am to announce start of lessons). Not ideal i know - my poor excuse is that I'm not a morning person. My kids are doing well at school and we've only ever had one late mark in 4 years.

I can just about tolerate jokey comments from mothers about "getting a move on" etc. but one mother actually said in all seriousness, on an occasion that I was earlier, "This is the first time I've seen you in the playground at the same time as all the other parents". WTF!!

Does anyone else experience this and if so how do you respond? <runs and hides hoping not to be attacked by all the morning people>.

NolaFfing Wed 03-Oct-12 09:40:30

Surely she was just passing a comment. It's true isn't it?

If you take it as an attack on you, I would suggest there's some defensive feelings surrounding your punctuality.

WorraLiberty Wed 03-Oct-12 09:42:12

Are you always this touchy?

I can't see what's wrong with someone saying that?

By the way, you don't have to be a 'morning person', you just have to leave 5 minutes earlier.

Feminine Wed 03-Oct-12 09:42:21

Well you know you are late, and you know it will get some peoples backs up.

You will either need to get up earlier or develop a tough skin.

I don't like lateness...but its never something I'd bother complaining to another Mum about. smile

aldiwhore Wed 03-Oct-12 09:42:57

I'm not a morning person, but I make sure I get there early, I over compensate so I have limited sympathy sorry.

My sons love getting to school early to play with their mates, their coats are hung up in plenty of time, and by the time the lesson starts they're ready.

It's not a crime of the century to be JUST on time, but I have discovered that by overcompensating I am a lot more relaxed in the morning.

I wouldn't take offence at either comment. It's a statement of fact, you know you're always a 'bit' late (by virtue of missing the first bell) so why take offence? Even if the other mum had no right to make you feel bad, there was no lie in it. You could always have answered "Damn I was hoping to miss them" and smiled sweetly, no use getting angry about it.

lljkk Wed 03-Oct-12 09:43:33

Grow a thicker skin (meant nicely).
Maybe she'd like to have a nice chin wag but never gets the chance? wink

I let mine run riot until rest of their (nicely queued up for previous 5 minutes) class have nearly all gone in. Every sodding morning, they are supposed to stand and wait for 5 minutes for no good reason I can perceive. Unless it's raining at which point the supposed benefits of queueing evaporate along with the sunshine. I will probably get tutted too. We get up there early so I don't have to worry about strops making us late on the way, I'd roll up at last minute otherwise if I could.

ceeveebee Wed 03-Oct-12 09:43:39

Well i wouldn't say anything in real life so yes I agree none of her business.
But since you asked, is it really that hard to leave the house 5 mins earlier? You're setting them up for a life of lateness.

zozzle Wed 03-Oct-12 09:44:27

Yep was true - you might think it but surely you wouldn't actually say it. Not so bad if a joke, but was said in all seriousness - like she was telling me off/making a point.

slartybartfast Wed 03-Oct-12 09:44:35

it is always the same familiar faces that are late. i doubt she was being horrible. you should have laughed it off. some children are really hard at getting ready.

FutTheShuckUp Wed 03-Oct-12 09:45:22

I dont get this whole 'im not a morning person' thing- are you never planning on having a job then?

slartybartfast Wed 03-Oct-12 09:46:07

i rmember jokingly making a comment to a grandmother <<who i knew>> who was a lot earlier with the dcs than her daughter <<their mother>> usually was. i didnt mean to offend, but her excuse was that her daughter works made me laugh, i am sure she wasnt the only workign mother. shock

TroublesomeEx Wed 03-Oct-12 09:46:41

But it's true though, isn't it?

She probably just thought she was being lighthearted and didn't expect you to take offence.

She probably thinks you aren't bothered about being late or you wouldn't be.

If you don't like it, develop a thicker skin or get there on time.

I think I might just be repeating what other people have said here though.

Hopeforever Wed 03-Oct-12 09:46:54

I'm not a morning person, so I do have sympathy, but I do think getting your kids to school in time for the first bell, well actually before the first bell is important.

Kids make use of the few minutes before the bell is rung to meet with friends, run off some energy and get into the school vibe.

Arriving at the last minute, all be it not quite late, can disrupt how a child prepares for their day. This is turn can change the atmosphere as of the class room as they start their day.

Our school now shuts the gate at first bell and any children arriving after this have to go through the office to get to their class room, it makes for a more ordered and relaxed start to the day

Only you can decide if 2 minutes more in bed, drinking your coffee, or in my case running round tidying the kitchen, is worth affecting your child's start to the day.

The mums you meet I. The playground, may want to say all I've just said to you, but they haven't got the time, so just shout a throw away comment.

You have various options, continue as you are now and grow a hard skin, think up some off the cuff replies, or change your routine to shave 2 minutes off the pre school rush and get there earlier.l

slartybartfast Wed 03-Oct-12 09:48:48

whose fault is it op that your dc are late?
yours or theirs?
or a bit of both?

TroublesomeEx Wed 03-Oct-12 09:49:00

Unfortunately, if you are late, people notice.

Getting to school on time/early isn't easy and it isn't an accident. She might well have been being a bit snippy and whilst not polite, people who make the effort to get there on time do so because they recognise why it is so important for the children and she might just wonder why you don't.

Feminine Wed 03-Oct-12 09:49:16

But op with all due respect , you do get that they are supposed to be on time, right?

If this woman was being rude/telling you off you can kind of see her point can't you?

I'll bet there are very few parents that shout "yipeee...its the school run I can't wait!"

You will just have to learn get a wriggle on wink

mollymole Wed 03-Oct-12 09:50:22

May be she wasn't intending to be rude but just trying to engage you in conversation. If you have only 1 late mark in 4 years then you cannot be so bad can you?

I think you're being a little sensitive tbh.

I am also not a morning person and being nearly 30 wks pg does not help that believe me. But I make an effort to get there early everyday, I've just trained myself that we need to leave 5 minutes before we really need to iykwim.

Just ignore others though, as long as you're happy with the set up that's what matters.

Hopeforever Wed 03-Oct-12 09:51:47

OP, there was a thread about the morning rush to get kids to school on time that had lots a great tips on saving time and getting the kids to help themselves.

Might be worth finding it or starting a new thread that concentrated on how to be on time with less stress rather than how annoying other people's comments are

FutTheShuckUp Wed 03-Oct-12 09:52:03

From a work perspective there are a couple of self proclaimed 'not morning people' who always always always walk in after handover has started, so we have to go back to repeat whats already been said simply because they are adults who cant have the respect to be on time. Its sloppy and downright rude imho.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Wed 03-Oct-12 09:53:25

Ignore her, she's being a twat. Next time just look at her confused and say "what?" She'll probably repeat it so just say "what?" again. Just keep repeating. The more she repeats her judgmental comment the more silly she will sound.

Some people just love finding something to judge others for! It's pathetic.

Btw Im impressed you've managed to only get one late mark in 4 years!

CeliaFate Wed 03-Oct-12 09:53:38

You may not be a morning person but you have a duty to get your dc to school on time. The usual working day is 9-5, you can't bowl up at 9.15 and say "Oops, sorry, I'm not a morning person."
There's no excuse, get up earlier.
I wouldn't say it to another mother on the yard, however. I'd say it to my friend if she was always late.

zozzle Wed 03-Oct-12 09:53:44

Slarty - a bit of both I guess.

I just think other mothers should butt out and worry about their own kids I guess.

Fut - yes I do have a job and no I am never late (only because it starts at 9.30am after school drop off though ha ha!)

slartybartfast Wed 03-Oct-12 09:57:46

whts she normally like?
pehraps she was feelign snipey?

dont worry about it.

slartybartfast Wed 03-Oct-12 09:58:21

next time - just blame your dcs!

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