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To not be ashamed of being feminine...?

(95 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Tue 02-Oct-12 20:52:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missymoomoomee Tue 02-Oct-12 20:55:07

I agree. A lot of people on here believe in a womans right to choose, just as long as she isn't choosing something stereotypically feminine.

Chubfuddler Tue 02-Oct-12 20:55:57

Link to three threads where someone is accused of being a vacuous bony for wearing lipstick and then I will proffer an opinion. As it is you seem to be setting up a but of a straw man argument.

SoleSource Tue 02-Oct-12 20:56:17

I don't know <giggles>

TunipTheVegemal Tue 02-Oct-12 20:57:36

I agree. I think these so-called feminists have got to stop kidnapping women and forcing them to wear dungarees. It's not 'feminist' at all in my book.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Tue 02-Oct-12 20:57:42

YANBU, but if you can honestly say that some of the views expressed on Mn don't ever make you feel like you are doing something wrong for being girly, then you are a braver person than me!

I am feminine in all the ways you describe, except I can be a bit flirty, and I work in a predominantly female environment. My only saving grace is that I have a very male dominated hobby, but even then I like being one of the few girls there.

It's wierd how MN is so quick to jump on those that are seen to be 'judgy', yet femininity is fair game for it.

thebody Tue 02-Oct-12 20:57:50

Well you could be me but without the horses.

I am a very feminine woman who really really couldn't give a shiny shite what others think of me.

I am intelligent and sucessful( lol) have 4 kids 23 to 13, last 2 very girly girls and both intelligent and lovely.

If other women are criticising you they arnt doing it in the name of feminism it's because they are jealous.

It's what you are inside that's important, the rest is window dressing and personal choice.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Tue 02-Oct-12 20:58:42

What chubfuddler said.

Point me to a thread where someone says you're not a feminist cos you wear lipstick or pink.

FromEsme Tue 02-Oct-12 21:00:04

What ChubFuddler said. Never seen any threads on here that say you can't be "girly". Seen plenty that say they wish it wasn't foisted upon women and girls quite so much, none that say if you present femininity you aren't allowed to be a feminist.


KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Tue 02-Oct-12 21:00:35

OK thebody but if the OP can't, maybe you can point me to where on MN this happens??

Its like the doom cats all over again.

motherinferior Tue 02-Oct-12 21:00:37

Jealous? Why would we be jealous? Because we are just hideous lurching monstrosities or suchlike?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 02-Oct-12 21:02:47

I am a mixture. Just like you sound. What I object to is not what you do, I would go to the barricades for your right to wear whatever you like, but how you describe it. Girly means made-up, not sporty, liking vacuous things like fairies and unicorns. Boys will be boys means boys are tough, loud, strong, violent, feisty. Bollocks to that. I don't think we should be pigeonholing behaviours because it sounds very like 'girly' is what girls are supposed to be. It limits people. Wear as much make-up as you like.

Trills Tue 02-Oct-12 21:04:50

Feminism doesn't want to stop women (or men) being feminine.

It just wants to stop the expectation that women should behave in ways that are stereotypically feminine, and that men should not behave in those ways.

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 02-Oct-12 21:04:50

Does it matter?

I love dresses, as trousers don't fit me. I don't love pink because it's the wrong colour for me, but I do love purple. I can't run or ride horses (or not well, anyway).

It's not 'girly' (I'm over 18), but it's not an issue either.

Pink isn't evil in and of itself. It's just a pity when it's the only colour of offer - but if you're an adult women, you've probably got past that age group.

Trills Tue 02-Oct-12 21:06:06

The individual likes or behaviours that you list are not bad, but the label "feminine" might be as it suggests that this is the correct way for women to act and dress and look, rather than just one of many acceptable options.

wordfactory Tue 02-Oct-12 21:06:21

Op no feminists whatsover say you can't be anyhting.

All they say is that women shouldn't feel they have to be 'feminine' whatever the fuck that's supposed to be. I certainly dispute that there is anyhting feminie/womanly/sexy aboout pink and glitter.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Tue 02-Oct-12 21:06:24

What does 'feminine' mean anyway? Who gets to decide?

Who has told you that you can't be 'feminine'

Whether women wear make up, or pink, or don't, is a personal choice.

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 02-Oct-12 21:06:37

This is just semantics, but I do think 'femininity' and 'masculinity' are terms referring to gender (ie., the set of expectations about how men and women should act differently). So I do think there's an issue with being 'feminine', in that everyone should be equally able to behave that way, whether they're male or female. Nowt wrong with a man in a nice pink shirt, for example.

squeakytoy Tue 02-Oct-12 21:08:32

Nothing wrong in a man with a pink shirt, but a man in a pink dress might raise a few eyebrows..

thebody Tue 02-Oct-12 21:09:06

No I have never seen it on mumsnet either.

Mother I was saying if women are simply bitching about the op simply because she is feminine or wears makeup then that's just pathetic and jealous.

But then I don't bitch so struggle to understand those attitudes.

Personally I couldn't give a shit if you made up like a houri in paradise or went around like a bag lady as long as you are nice.

As I said its what's inside that counts. People use any stick to beat another human being with, and can site any cause, religion, feminism, mysogonist, creed or custom.. Just bullying really.

Dozer Tue 02-Oct-12 21:13:34

"feminine" doesn't equal make-up, pink blah blah blah.

MrsWolowitz Tue 02-Oct-12 21:14:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudiansGoldSlipper Tue 02-Oct-12 21:15:18

I have been told by many men and women who like to distance themselves from feminism and it does more harm than good blah blah lot that I can not be a feminist

those I know who are feminists have never said that to me

I know I am 100%

LapsedPacifist Tue 02-Oct-12 21:15:34

WHO is criticising you exactly? Please could you link to these militant feminist threads? I'd be fascinated to see one - I haven't come across a Millie Tant stylee feminist since, oooh, at least 1985.

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 02-Oct-12 21:21:46

squeaky - yet, but good eyebrows, I hope! grin

My understanding is, the issues people have with 'girly' stuff (for small children) is not that it exists - it's that it's hard to find anything else.

It's always going to be a pity if people feel constrained to act of dress in a particular way, isn't it?

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