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aibu? a post about how much dinner money is acceptable for a yr 7 child...

(73 Posts)
chimchar Tue 02-Oct-12 17:25:05

ds is nearly 12 and in year 7 and is exactly like kevin the teenager.. he's of average size.(if this matters for the purpose of my post!)

I give him £2.00 per day to buy lunch. he can get a fresh, filled baguette for £1.80. He takes from home a 500ml bottle of flavoured water and a chocolate/cereal bar as a snack.

we are having riots because he wants to buy a something (anything!) in the shop on the way home from school with his mates. the past few days i have relented and given him £2.50, and he has bought a can of cheap, sugary pop. its getting on my nerves though, so I have re thought the extra 50p...he doesn't need the pop...he still had drink left when he comes home. he thinks i am the meanest parent around.

money is not a huge issue, but it IS adding up and i could do without him spending it. I suggested him spending his pocket money on buying the crap/pop/sweets, and he hated me even more!

Am i being stingy? i am fully prepared to told if i am bu, but this is my first thread in AIBU, so please be gentle!

frankie4 Tue 02-Oct-12 17:27:47

YANBU . He can use his pocket money to buy a can of drink. Which will probably mean he will only be able to buy it a couple of times a week.

Ingles2 Tue 02-Oct-12 17:28:36

How about offering him £1 a week for crap from the shop.?
How much pocket money does he get and what's it used for?

OddBoots Tue 02-Oct-12 17:29:14

There's no way my ds (13) would be allowed to get something from the shop every day, especially not from dinner money. If he were to buy anything he would have to spend his own pocket money.

That said, I pay £2.10 a day for school lunches but that is a cooked meal with pud.

MidnightHag Tue 02-Oct-12 17:29:17

YANB stingy! This sounds v similar to what my DD (yr 11) takes. I try to persuade her to take some fruit too, but I don't think she eats it. hmm
Stay strong about the pop...it's rubbish!

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Tue 02-Oct-12 17:30:27

That's a poor lunch for a child. It's basically nothing but a bit of carb/protein and a drink!

My DD is only 8 and she eats far more than that. He's looking for a quick fix on the way home...you need to give him more money or something else from home to take in addition.

D0ZYR0ZY Tue 02-Oct-12 17:31:33

I had the same problem with my son, it wasn't how much he was asking for that bugged me it was what he was buying with it. My compromise was that he took a packed lunch so I know he has had a healthy lunch and he takes £1 to spend in the shop with his friends

chimchar Tue 02-Oct-12 17:32:09

thanks. he gets 2.50 a week pocket money...he is currently getting £1.50 though because he is paying me back for a magazine subscription. He uses his pocket money to buy things towards his hobby (warhammer geek!) which is what its for really...

this is my point with him i think...he will happily spend my money on shit, but not his own, and then i feel guilty. he is oldest child, so this is new to me....want to make sure i'm not being evil!

OddBoots Tue 02-Oct-12 17:33:51

Looks like he might have to do some extra jobs around the house to earn a bit more for the shop then.

chimchar Tue 02-Oct-12 17:34:43

bigfat...he's not hungry...we spoke about the hunger issue. the baguettes by all accounts are fab, filling and massive!

i appreciate your words everyone.

off to collect other dc from their friends...i'll be back!

McHappyPants2012 Tue 02-Oct-12 17:35:55

send him with a piece of fruit and it's more than enough.

chimchar Tue 02-Oct-12 17:36:01

oddboots....i did suggest this. he did a proper kevin hurrumph!!! he wants it all his way! bloody kids

cantspel Tue 02-Oct-12 17:36:02

Thats not a lot of pocket money if he is expected to pay for his own magazine on top.

I give £2 per day for lunch money and £5 per week pocket money

StuntGirl Tue 02-Oct-12 17:36:06

If he has his own money but he's just choosing not to spend it then YANBU. That's life I'm afraid!

talkingnonsense Tue 02-Oct-12 17:37:34

I think they need pop money sometimes though as it is part of socialising- my boys go into lidl and everyone shares what they have.

Agree a baguette isn't much lunch ( he probably has the cereal bar at break), can you add something with extra protein? Or would the cooked meal be a similiar price?

Mine ate more junk in year 7 than ever before or since, think it is a learning curve! My feeling is that if you ban junk it only gets more appealing though.

shewhowines Tue 02-Oct-12 17:38:12

Yes I think he needs more pocket money, then he can choose whether to spend it on crap or use it sensibly on more hobby stuff. BUT i agree he should do jobs for the increase. Getting older means more freedom/choice but it also brings more responsibilities too.

StuntGirl Tue 02-Oct-12 17:38:38

What if its all she can afford to give cantspel? hmm

I'd second the idea of doing more around the house to earn more money. My dcs are only 5+7 and get £5 a week but they do a lot (for their age) for that, and it gets put into a bank account so I have a say in what it gets spent on atm.

roisin Tue 02-Oct-12 17:40:42

I think your approach is right and is the same one that we take.
The boys get c.£2 per day to buy their lunch, which is enough for a main meal. If they want to buy drinks (rather than just drink water) or buy treats on the way home they have to use their own money.

Mine get much less pocket money though too. I want them to be motivated to get a part-time job, and if they are feeling cushy they won't have the inspiration!

When they started yr8 I opened bank accounts for them and they get a standing order each month with their lunch money, bus fares and pocket money. Then it's just up to them to manage their cash. They do fine and as a result are very careful about not spending their money on junk.

cantspel Tue 02-Oct-12 17:41:27

the op states that money is not a huge issue so i would assume from that that an extra £2.50 per week wont break her budget

YouMayLogOut Tue 02-Oct-12 17:41:53

Why not a packed lunch or school dinner?

littleducks Tue 02-Oct-12 17:43:42

Yanbu, but you have to accept that he may stop buying the baguette instead saving money for junk on the way home. How would you feel about that?

freddiefrog Tue 02-Oct-12 17:45:16

Mine arent old enough for secondary school yet, eldest goes next year.

From looking at the prospectus, our school of choice charges £2 for either a baguette & pudding or a hot meal & pudding.

So, if she chooses school lunches, we'll give her the £2 a day and any thing else comes out of her own pocket money

BellaVita Tue 02-Oct-12 17:47:39

I agree with £2.50 not being a lot of pocket money. Mine gets £6 a week.

I give my Ds's between £2.50 and £3.00 depending on what change I have in my purse.

Littleducks is right though... Mine sometimes decide to buy the cheapest sandwich and then come home with a bar of chocolate from the shop which they have bought when they get off the bus.

At secondary school they need to decide for themselves.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 02-Oct-12 17:49:34

When my dd1 has a school lunch she usually has a baguette. She says they are huge and she loves them

I do send in something to supplement it though. Tomorrow it'll be some strawberries and a cake bar thingy

I give her £3 for lunch but there's usually done left over by the end of the week. She either gives it me back or I tell her yo save it for when she goes into town with her friends for a hot chocolate and cake healthy snack

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