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aibu (and overly pfb) to ask my anti vaccination family to vaccinate themselfs against whooping cough before they come and visit my new baby at christmas?

(163 Posts)
honeytea Tue 02-Oct-12 11:26:48

I'm wondering if I am being completely over the top. I don't live in tge UK, the country where I live don't habe a whooping cough problem so they are not offering tge vaccine to pregnant women. I went ti my Dr this morning to ask him if I could have the vaccine as we plan to travel to tge UK before the baby has his 1st vaccinations (3 months here) the Dr said there is no way for me to get tge vaccination here in Sweden even privately.

I think we will just wait to come to tge UK till after the baby's first vaccinations.

My family, parents and siblings (one of my siblings is a child) are coming to visit us at christmas, the baby will be only a week or two old. My family are anti vaccinations, the sibling who is a child has not been vaccinated I'm not sure about everyone else.

I have the option of traveling to tge UK and getting the vaccine myself, this would be costly and hard work as I'm heavily pregnant.

honeytea Tue 02-Oct-12 11:28:43

Posted too soon! Silly chubby fingers on my phone

Do you think it is offensive to ask my family to have the vaccination? We come from a part of tge UK with lots of like minder hmm people so vaccination rates among the general population is low.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears Tue 02-Oct-12 11:29:33

Whooping cough kills babies. I'd make them stay away until your child is fully vaccinated. Personally, I wouldn't take the risk, however small. Not seeing your DC for a few months will just have to be what they sacrifice for nit believing in vaccines.

FredFredGeorge Tue 02-Oct-12 11:32:10

Perfectly reasonable request, and even more reasonable not to want visitors at a week or two old!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Tue 02-Oct-12 11:33:05

You can ask, but don't be surprised if they say no. If you are really worried about the risk then tell then they can't come until your baby has been vaccinated, or take the responsibility for getting yourself vaccinated by coming back.

I don't think that some surgeries would even give out the vaccine for free for non risk adults for a baby that isn't even in this country. Seems a bit of a waste of NHS resources to me.

KenLeeeeeee Tue 02-Oct-12 11:33:07

YANBU at all.

Perhaps try explaining it to them as "Whilst I respect your choice not to vaccinate yourselves and your children, I feel very differently about my child and do not wish to risk exposure to a potentially fatal illness. I would be very grateful if you could respect my feelings on this and refrain from visiting in person until the baby has had his/her vaccinations."

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Tue 02-Oct-12 11:34:32

I dont really think you can expect an anti vaccination person to have a vacination done just for you (and they probably wouldnt anyway if they actually have valid reason for non vaccinations) but you wouldnt be unreasonable to keep them away from your baby until he/she is fully vacinated. Like Pom says, its one of the things they have to put up with it they chose not to vacinate.

SneakyNuts Tue 02-Oct-12 11:36:28

YANBU, I would do the same.

Pagwatch Tue 02-Oct-12 11:37:32

I don't think you are unreasonable to do whatever you feel is necessary for your baby.
My DD is unvaccinated. I would not have any problem at all if you had concerns her/us visiting.
Talk to them and explain your concerns. Iwouldn't anticipate a dispute until you have one.

honeytea Tue 02-Oct-12 11:37:58

I don't think that some surgeries would even give out the vaccine for free for non risk adults for a baby that isn't even in this country. Seems a bit of a waste of NHS resources to me.

My baby will be British so if he is hospitalized for whooping cough even in Sweden it will be the NHS paying for the care because if European health cards.

I'm really looking forward to them coming, it's not a problem having visitors it's just tge whooping cough thing sad

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Tue 02-Oct-12 11:41:00

Ahh, ok. My surgery is just really tight when it comes to giving out vaccines.

SammyTheSwedishSquirrel Tue 02-Oct-12 11:41:44

If you live in Sweden the NHS won't be paying the costs of hospitalisation in Sweden. European health cards are issued by the country you live in and only apply for visits to another country.

Jenny70 Tue 02-Oct-12 11:42:54

I am pro vacc, but honestly I think you are being precious.

Whilst not underplaying whooping cough, they are not actually sick, noone you know they've had contact with is sick and christmas is months away.

If they are unwell before the visit, or arrive sick, then don't let them near the baby - at 1-2 weeks old it is easy to keep baby isolated from germs, especially if breastfeeding (and passing your immunity).

Personally I would get my booster done, that way you're covering baby and you for longer, even if it meant a trip to the UK.

missymoomoomee Tue 02-Oct-12 11:44:51

I would get offended if someone knew I was against vaccines and asked me to have one anyway because their view was different to mine.

I would, however, tell them they can't come and explain why, they have made the choice about whether to vaccinate or not, they need to deal with any consequences of it.

SammyTheSwedishSquirrel Tue 02-Oct-12 11:45:00

I forgot to say, if you return to the UK for the vaccination, you should pay for it as it isn't emergency treatment and as a non-resident you are not entitled to it on the NHS.

worldgonecrazy Tue 02-Oct-12 11:45:11

Why don't you also ask them to get vaccinated for chicken pox? There is also a vaccine called Pneumovax which isn't given out routinely in the UK but can be obtained privately, it covers certain forms of meningitis that aren't covered by routine vaccinations.

Make them wear fully protective suits and breathing gear, as it's highly likely they will come into contact with a flu or cold virus whilst on the aeroplane and the flu can be fatal in a young child too.

Do I think you're being PFB? Yes completely, but it's your child so you should get to make your own rules.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 02-Oct-12 11:49:04

Given the current outbreak in this country, and the fact that all of the fatalities have been under 7 weeks old, I don't think that YABU at all. It's a horrendous affliction. I don't want anybody I know to EVER get this, and tbh, if it entered my house, and I had to stop working to nurse my kids through the possible 3 month period that it can last for, we would go under. No question.
Nothing scares me like this, and I am the jaded parent of teenagers!

Peachy Tue 02-Oct-12 11:53:35

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I am not anti vac but I have done it differently- separates etc- and I have many friends who are anti vac (tied together by autistic kids) and I'd feel happy to expalin in an outbreak; I would not expect them to change views and woudln't be angry with them at all but they'd have to wait to meet new baby. I knew when we delayed ds3's measles jab that it emant we needed to be more considerate when necessary.

monkeysbignuts Tue 02-Oct-12 11:57:10

I can't see them being able to get vaccinated to be honest. I am 38 weeks pregnant and struggling to get it myself!
the vaccine will be for high risk groups only so maybe as them to stay away for a bit?

Prarieflower Tue 02-Oct-12 12:02:15


I refused to let sil smoke in the house when my babies were newborns.Said normally completely selfish sil fully obliged,no questions or fuss at all.

It's my newborn,my rules in this house.If your family want to visit they should abide by your rules.

Oh and no way on earth would I let non vaccinated children near my newborn.Wooping cough is particularly deadly with small babies.

You'd always regret not following your instincts if anything happened,sometimes living up to pfb accusations are justified-this is one of them imho.grin

Hopeforever Tue 02-Oct-12 12:05:42

I think you should change your travel plans rather than expect your family to have vaccinations

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Tue 02-Oct-12 12:06:41

Oh and no way on earth would I let non vaccinated children near my newborn

I have no idea whether the kids who came near my DS as a baby were vaccinated or not?? I never thought to ask.

OHforDUCKScake Tue 02-Oct-12 12:07:03

When do they give the whooping cough vaccine in the uk?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 02-Oct-12 12:11:41

I was watching something on tv the other day, which said that you cant vaccinate for anything before 8 weeks, because the immune system isnt developed enough.

titchy Tue 02-Oct-12 12:12:23

To all of you saying she is being completely reasonable asking her family to vaccinate themselves so that her pfb doesn't get whooping cough, presumably you don't set foot outside your houses until the first set of jabs (so two months) and you ask to see everyone's vaccination certificates that come to your house.

If they are obviously ill then you are quite reasonable in telling them to stay away, but to ask perfctly well people, to be vaxed against a disease they do not have is ridiculous.

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