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To have ‘hugged’ this 11 year old?

(80 Posts)
meMillyme Mon 01-Oct-12 21:42:35

I’m a TA at a secondary school and also teach a few lessons of Art a week (I’m a qualified Art teacher too) today I was coming to the end of a year 7 lesson when another teacher came in and said a boy who should have been in my class went into hers accidently. He was very upset and thought he’d be in trouble.

I went outside and he was sobbing his little heart out sad I put my arm around him briefly to comfort him. The other teacher was present at the time.

I’m now worried I shouldn’t have done. Can anyone reassure me?

KatyS36 Mon 01-Oct-12 21:44:49

I'm not an expect, but under the circumstances you have described I would hope someone would do the same to my DD.


squeakytoy Mon 01-Oct-12 21:45:52

Its a sad day in this life when you cant put your arm around an upset child to comfort them. sad

I hope you arent in trouble, and I doubt you would be.

Celticlassie Mon 01-Oct-12 21:46:09

I would have done.

Sparklingbrook Mon 01-Oct-12 21:46:20

It's so sad you have to worry about this. sad If my Year 7 boy was sobbing I would be pleased if a teacher put their arm round him and reassured him.

Did the other teacher say anything?

Jas Mon 01-Oct-12 21:46:57

I'm sad that this worries you. I too hope a teacher would be that kind to one of my kids if they were upset.

doinmummy Mon 01-Oct-12 21:48:13

It's a sad state of affairs when someone is concerned about an act of kindness. I would be glad if it was my child.

Whathashappenedtomyboobs Mon 01-Oct-12 21:48:37

You did a nice thing, why do you think this is wrong?

FutureNannyOgg Mon 01-Oct-12 21:54:53

No, that's reasonable. A full on hug, no, a hand on the shoulder or one arm, that's pastoral care.

Pancakeflipper Mon 01-Oct-12 22:01:53

I hope not. You should get hug for being lovely.

My 7 yr old had a nasty accident at school last year and the TA sat cuddling him until I got there and I love her for that. And I know my son appreciated having the feeling he wasn't alone and someone was going to care for him.

NickyNackyNooNoo Mon 01-Oct-12 22:04:03

If you cant give someone a hug when they're visibly upset then the world has gone mad - YANBU

OrangeImperialGoldBlether Mon 01-Oct-12 22:05:46

You will have been given guidelines on this during training and induction, wouldn't you?

gordyslovesheep Mon 01-Oct-12 22:07:00

you where kind - and another staff member was present - no harm ...I get why you are worried - you know, as a teacher, you are open to allegations of in appropriate behaviour - sadly, and so you have to protect yourself

I have had to stop kids trying to hug me - it's too risky and it's not appropriate

it's sad though x

Pourquoimoi Mon 01-Oct-12 22:07:31

I have a new year 7 and I'd be glad you showed him compassion, they are terrified of being told off or getting detention. YANBU at all.

akaemmafrost Mon 01-Oct-12 22:08:57

I would and have done the same on a school trip with 4 year olds when one fell over. It was instinctive just as I would my own dd. I hope you are not in trouble for it, can't see why you would be.

getrealandgetalife Mon 01-Oct-12 22:09:13

would it have made a difference if you were a man?

My dd would be mortified if someone hugged her that she had a professional relationship with... but then i understand that my dd is unique in her outlook.

it would stop her crying alright, but only because she felt compromised that someone was actually touching her.

Sorry to be a spoilsport, but not all kids are the same.

if your intentions were honourable, then you can defend yourself, cant you?

getrealandgetalife Mon 01-Oct-12 22:12:28

oh and she said year 7 not aged 7.

HUGE difference

Floggingmolly Mon 01-Oct-12 22:14:40

Nothing wrong with this at all; but it's a sad world we live in - I can see exactly why you felt there might be sad

PenguinBear Mon 01-Oct-12 22:16:35

It will be fine! Don't give it a second thought! I cuddle my old class all the time! They come up to me on the playground daily and I am always happy to hug them back smile

Mum2Luke Mon 01-Oct-12 22:16:40

YANBU I would hope if my ds gets worried/upset a teacher or TA would help. If another teacher saw you and didn't say anything I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Its getting ridiculous that a teacher cannot show compassion (completely different to what that maths teacher did) to a pupil without worrying what the outcome would be.

I'd give you a hug grin

pudding25 Mon 01-Oct-12 23:04:36

Of course you should have comforted him!

RaisinDEtre Mon 01-Oct-12 23:47:48

oh bless those little yr 7s finding their way round Big School


but, yes, you will have covered this in your induction and training, do you think you have broken contact rules? (note I don't know what they are or even if they exist)

CuriousMama Mon 01-Oct-12 23:53:33

That so could've been my ds2 he'd cry if that happened. I'd be happy you hugged him if it were.

independentfriend Tue 02-Oct-12 00:45:38

Sounds OK, so long as the other children couldn't see.

A male science teacher hugged me in the middle of the classroom when I was in Year 7. I was crying at the time and he was just trying to comfort me, but horribly embarrassing.

DieDeutschLehrerin Tue 02-Oct-12 03:25:59

I'm a secondary teacher and what you describe sounds fine, especially as it was in the presence of another member of staff. When I was doing my PGCE we were advised by the CP officer just to use our common sense in these situations and that comforting a sobbing child with an arm around the shoulder was perfectly acceptable behaviour. Y7s are still very young too, they've only been there 4 or 5 weeks and often find such a gesture comforting. Try not to worry. You were in plain sight, in the presence of another member of staff and the contact was appropriate in the situation.

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