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To feel really very hurt by my SIL.

(435 Posts)
Diddydollydo Mon 01-Oct-12 21:28:55

My brother and his wife have just had their first baby (yay!), a beautiful little girl. I wanted to get them something special, or what I thought was special, so I started making a basket up for them a few months ago, adding to it when I could afford to.

I put in bodysuits, babygrows, a music box, teething ring, a couple of little dresses, little soft toys, practical stuff like nappies, wipes, muslins etc. I also made some wee trinkets for DN for when she is older (I make silver jewellery). I decorated the basket with ribbons and balloons and took it round on Saturday and DB and SIL seemed very happy with it. DB rang me when I got home to say thanks again.

Today at work, DB rang and asked me to drop by on my way home from work and pick something up that I'd left there. So he opens the door and we're chatting in the hall. SIL was in the living room and clearly didn't hear me come in as I hear her say 'Yeah, Diddy was here on Saturday. Yes a basket of crap then laughs. sad DB was mortified and started to walk into the living room but I stopped him, said it didn't matter and left. She's just had a baby and I didn't want them fighting.

However, now I feel really hurt. I put so much thought into the basket and I know that perhaps it wasn't a fancy present but I thought she, in particular, would appreciate it. And most of all, I thought she was my friend. Am I being a twattish sensitive idiot?

quoteunquote Mon 01-Oct-12 21:31:28

She was mean, your present sounds lovely.

Hassled Mon 01-Oct-12 21:31:42

No, you're not being a twattish sensitive idiot. That must have been incredibly hurtful - bad enough if she was "just" your SIL, but you clearly like her a lot to do all that. I hope she's squirming with hideous, painful embarrassment.

frootshoots Mon 01-Oct-12 21:32:13

Just had a baby or not, what a bitch. I'd have walked in, found said basket of crap and walked out with it. But then I am dramatic like that grin

You did a lovely thing, she was nasty. YANBU.

MogTheForgetfulCat Mon 01-Oct-12 21:33:09

How unbelievably rude and hurtful of her. So sorry you overheard that, no way are you being twattish or sensitive sad.

WipsGlitter Mon 01-Oct-12 21:33:17

She was horrible. My work colleagues did this for me and I love it. x

LemonBreeland Mon 01-Oct-12 21:33:25

She sounds like an ungrateful bitch. The present sounds lovely.

Fairylea Mon 01-Oct-12 21:33:35

The basket sounds beautiful.

Yanbu.

RancerDoo Mon 01-Oct-12 21:34:38

No you're not. That sounds bloody rude.
I'm trying to think of ways it might be less bad than it sounds (is she someone who says crap instead of stuff/ things, for example) but I am reaching.

Poor you, i'd have loved someone to make that much fuss when I had my first baby.

Annakin31 Mon 01-Oct-12 21:34:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster Mon 01-Oct-12 21:35:20

Well that would be the last time I would have anything to do with her. What a bitch.

SoggySummer Mon 01-Oct-12 21:35:26

I would be tempted to get some crap and put it in a basket and wrap it for her at Xmas - put a banner across the front saying

"This ACTUALLY is a basket of crap"

How rude and ungrateful of her. I expect your DB has mentioned it to her and she is probably sat there cringeing like hell and feeling embarrassed and crappy right now!

Your gift sounded lovely btw.

MissRee Mon 01-Oct-12 21:35:28

That's just mean shock will you be my SIL and make me a basket of lovelies??? grin

AThingInYourLife Mon 01-Oct-12 21:35:55

It was special. It was so special and thoughtful.

I can't tell you how touched I would be if someone put that much thought into a gift for my baby.

I'm sorry you had to hear your SIL being so ungrateful and horrible sad

Unfortunately you can't unhear it.

RecursiveMoon Mon 01-Oct-12 21:36:28

Diddy, your gift sounds lovely smile. I bet SIL was really pleased, but then somehow found herself saying something daft to someone on the spur of the moment.

mum11970 Mon 01-Oct-12 21:36:39

What an ungrateful cow. Sounds like a lovely gift. Hope your db gave her a right mouthful when you left.

Babymamaroon Mon 01-Oct-12 21:36:51

Your basket of goodies sounds wonderful and I would have been deeply touched had I received it. She's out of order. At least she's revealed her true colours so you know not to waste your time in her in the future.

Asmywhimsytakesme Mon 01-Oct-12 21:37:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JemimaPuddle Mon 01-Oct-12 21:37:05

I would have loved a basket like that and would think most mun's would. I would be very upset too.
YANBU

LingDiLong Mon 01-Oct-12 21:37:56

Fucking hell, no wonder you're hurt. If she can't see the thought and love that went into that gift then there's something very wrong with her. My (now ex) SIL did similar for me when I had my first and I was so touched.

Just try and concentrate on the fact that your DB clearly appreciated it and, in a way, so will the baby.

QuintessentialShadows Mon 01-Oct-12 21:38:00

What a bitch! shock

At least you know what she is like now.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Mon 01-Oct-12 21:38:11

I'm due a baby, can I have it?! grin

YANBU, what a horrible thing to say. I'd be really hurt by that but as there's no way for your SIL to unsay it or explain it, it's something that has to be got past. Hopefully she offers you a frank apology , which would make it a lot easier to move on.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Mon 01-Oct-12 21:38:23

She's a cow - just given birth or not. Your gift sounds lovely and very thoughtful, and even if it had been something a "bit crap" which it definitely was not she still shouldn't have said anything! I hope her lack of manners and decency hasn't upset you too much Diddy.
She's a very silly woman.

Buglove Mon 01-Oct-12 21:38:27

I would have loved someone to have done that for me. Ungrateful witch...

WildWorld2004 Mon 01-Oct-12 21:38:32

What a cow. I dont know how you could have held your tongue. By the sounds of your post your present was just what a new mum would need as its got everything a baby needs.

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